Afraid to Fall
by Liz4
Summary: A,B,J,Em,&R are preparing for grad school in Chicago. Edward comes to join his siblings. All human, lemony goodness to come. Canon couples.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: This story will eventually have some lemons and I will do my best to be good about updating. A very large portion of the story is already written (including the end!) and there will be a total of eight chapters of varying length.

**Special Notes**: For Blue-Winter-Angel and her extremely motivating story "I Like it Loud" and the upcoming "15 Step." If you like sweet, hot, well written B&E action, you need to check her out! And as always, for Goo82 for being supportive and just altogether awesome. I promise some angst just for you, bb!

* * *

Bella Swan stretched as she walked into the kitchen in her apartment on a Saturday morning in mid-May. Normally, she wouldn't have been up before 11:00 on a weekend if she could help it. However, she had woken up an hour earlier, around 9am, and as she had been unable to get back to sleep, had decided to get up and make breakfast for herself and her roommates, Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale.

The three girls, along with Alice and Rose's boyfriends Jasper Whitlock and Emmett Cullen, had graduated from the University of Chicago a week earlier and Bella was looking forward to a relaxing summer before they all started grad school in the fall at the university. Alice, Rose, and Emmett were all heading to U of Chicago's Booth School of Business for their MBAs while Jasper would be getting his Masters in Psychology and Bella would be working toward her Masters in Social Work.

Bella gathered up ingredients for French Toast and smiled to herself as she heated up the griddle. She stuck her ipod in the ipod dock on the kitchen counter and turned it on so she would have some music to keep her company while she cooked, her thoughts traveling to her little family and everything they had been through together in their four years at the university. It had all started when Alice and her longtime boyfriend, Jasper, had befriended Bella and her then-intimidating roommate, Rose, within the first week of college. Not long after their initial meeting, Rose and Emmett, Alice's brother, had started dating. Now, four years later, the five were a tightly knit group, more like a family than simply a group of friends. The three girls had moved into a three-bedroom apartment in Hyde Park near the University after their freshman year while Jasper and Emmett shared an apartment with a third U of Chicago student only two blocks away.

Bella had come to the University of Chicago from Portland, Oregon, the introverted only child of divorced parents. The last she had heard, her mother had been living in Florida, but it had been a few years since they had spoken – Renee, her mother, never had been very good at the whole staying in touch thing. Her father, Charlie, had been killed in a car accident in October of Bella's freshman year. Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper had been there for Bella every step of the way as she dealt with her father's death and she had known then just how special the friendship among them all really was.

Alice, Jasper, and Emmett had all come to Chicago from the small town of Forks, Washington. Emmett was a year older than the others but had taken a year off between high school and college, deferring his acceptance to the university for a year so that he could start college at the same time as Alice and Jasper. Jasper's parents had died when he was only seven and he had been sent to live with his great Aunt Sara in Forks, Washington. From what Bella gathered, he and the Cullens had hit it off from the day they'd met and he had practically been a member of their family ever since. Jasper and Alice had been together since junior high and Bella was relatively certain that going to separate colleges had never crossed either of their minds.

All Bella really knew about Rose's parents was that they lived in Southern California. They didn't call or write or visit and the only real impact they had on Rose's life was through the large sums of money they deposited in her bank account every month.

Alice and Emmett had another brother, Edward, Alice's twin in fact, but he had been at The University of California at Davis studying animal science for as long as Bella had known the others and had never come to visit his siblings in Chicago. The Cullens' parents, Carlisle and Esme, however, had been out to Chicago to visit them all numerous times during their years at the university and treated Bella, Rose, and Jasper like adopted daughters and son. Bella absolutely adored Carlisle and Esme and Alice had told Bella that they both felt the same way about her. She had never been home with Alice and Emmett, – her aversion to the Pacific Northwest and fear of flying keeping her in Chicago any time the rest of her friends had flown out to Carlisle and Esme's house in the tiny town of Forks, Washington – but Carlisle and Esme had told her she had an open invitation any time she would like to visit.

Bella was pulled from her thoughts by the sizzling drops of water on the skillet letting her know it was hot enough for her to start the French toast. She knew she had at least two for breakfast since she had heard Alice and Jasper come home late the night before when she herself had already been in bed. She wasn't sure if Rose had spent the night at home or at Emmett's and she decided she'd go and check Rose's room after she finished cooking the first batch.

The song on the ipod dock changed to Axle Whitehead's "I Don't Do Surprises," and Bella smiled, turning the volume up slightly as she began to sing along, her body swaying to the music. She heard someone moving in the living room behind her and grinned as she continued dancing along even as she flipped the pieces of toast on the skillet. "I'm making French toast, Ali," she called without turning around. "Do you want some?"

"Well, I'm not Alice, but if you don't mind, that sounds and smells delicious."

Bella gasped and whirled around to find an unfamiliar guy standing at the edge of the kitchen. He smiled crookedly at her. "Hello."

"Who, where did you come from?" Bella stuttered.

"Alice's room," he replied with the same adorable grin on his face. "Great choice of music, by the way. I'm guessing you're Bella."

"How do you…?"

"Alice," he replied.

"Oh," was all Bella could manage.

He knew who she was, which meant he probably wasn't some freak who had broken into their apartment to rob or kill them. She couldn't stop herself from staring at him, her stunned mind registering that he was extremely attractive, quite possibly _the_ most attractive guy she had ever laid eyes on. Vibrant green eyes sparkled at her from a handsome face and his messy bed head hair that was an unusual bronze color seemed to beg Bella to run her fingers through it. He was easily half a foot taller than she was, his bare chest showing a body that was all lean muscle.

Bella blushed as she realized she had been silently gawking at this stranger for several moments now. Her blush deepened when she realized that he was staring back at her but she found herself unable to tear her gaze from his gorgeous eyes.

At that moment, Alice came skipping out of her room still dressed in her pajamas. "Morning, Bella," she sang as she came to a stop beside the stranger, hooking her arm through his.

Bella started. She had been so busy admiring the strange boy that something had not occurred to her right away. He had been sleeping in Alice's room. Alice, who was now practically hanging onto this shirtless boy. Alice, who was supposed to be madly in love with Jasper.

Bella could think of nothing to say and when there was a knock at the door, she gratefully announced she would answer it. Her relief was short-lived, however, when she opened the door to find Jasper standing there.

"Hi, Jasper," Bella said, smiling weakly. Her mind raced as she tried to think of a way to send him away without making him suspicious. She couldn't let him come in now. Not when Alice was draped across some strange shirtless boy who had spent the night with her in her bedroom. It would break Jasper's heart.

"Hi, Bella."

"Jazz!" Alice squealed from within the apartment and Bella cringed. "Come see who's here!"

With a smile at Bella, Jasper slipped past her and into the apartment. Bella closed the door and turned slowly to face the group, her body tensed for the explosion. But it never came.

Bella turned to see Jasper and the bronze haired boy hugging and pounding each other on the back. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief and all she could do was stare silently at the scene before her. What the _hell_?

Pulling herself together, Bella leaned over and turned the ipod dock off before turning back to the group. The sudden silence from the kitchen caught Alice's attention and she turned to face Bella, a huge grin on her face. "Bella, this is-"

Whatever Alice had been about to say was cut off as the door flew open and Emmett came bounding in. "Eddie!" he bellowed, scooping up the unknown boy in a signature bone-crushing hug. Bella was growing increasingly confused as she watched the four people in front of her and she barely noticed as Rose walked past her to join the group.

"Morning, Bella," Rose said. She stopped and sniffed the air. "Is something burning?"

"Shit!" Bella whirled around to the stove where the French toast was beginning to smoke on the skillet and quickly yanked the pan from the stove. In her haste, however, she forgot that she was not using her heat safe cooking ware and yelped as the hot metal touched her skin, dropping both skillet and toast to the floor.

The unfamiliar boy was suddenly at her side, carefully taking her injured hand in both of his. He gently led Bella toward the sink and turned the cold water on full blast, holding her hand beneath the cooling spray.

Bella couldn't stop the gasp that passed her lips when the boy's hands touched hers. It was as if an electric current had passed between them and she shivered slightly as the cold water hit her hand.

The stranger looked up at her. "Did I hurt you?" he asked in concern.

Bella shook her head. "No, it's fine. I just, uh, wasn't expecting it to be so cold." She closed her eyes, cursing herself for the stupid comment. _I wasn't expecting it to be so cold? He turned on the cold water tap, what did you expect?_ _Moron_, she internally berated herself.

Her uninjured hand was braced against the counter and she was suddenly hyper-aware of just how close her hand was to his bare chest. She could feel the heat from his skin and had to make a conscious effort to keep her gaze focused firmly on her injured hand.

He ran his fingers softly across her reddened skin. "Doesn't look like you've done any permanent damage. How does it feel?"

Bella forced herself to stop staring at his long fingers as they danced across her palm and met his intense gaze once more. "Um, it's fine," she mumbled. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he replied, that same crooked grin on his face.

Bella wasn't sure how long they stood staring at each other when Emmett's booming laugh suddenly interrupted them, making Bella jump. She had honestly forgotten anyone else was there.

"Picked something up from dad, huh, Love Doctor?" Emmett teased.

Bella's face turned crimson and she stepped away from her impromptu doctor.

Alice elbowed Emmett. "Idiot," she grumbled.

"What?" Emmett asked. "I was just-"

"Just being an idiot," Alice said.

Before Emmett could respond, Jasper intervened. "Guys, you think maybe we should introduce them?"

Alice brightened instantly. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Right!" She turned her attention to the pair in the kitchen. "Bella, this is my brother, Edward. Edward, my best friend, Bella."

Bella stared. _This_ was Alice's twin?

Edward smiled at Bella. "It's very nice to meet you, Bella. I'm sorry to just barge in here. I hope I didn't startle you too badly."

"Oh no, it's fine," Bella said hurriedly. "It's just, well, Alice never mentioned that you were coming," she added, shooting her friend an evil look.

"Didn't I?" Alice replied, the picture of wide-eyed innocence. "I could have sworn I told you."

Deciding she would yell at Alice later and shooting her another dirty look, Bella turned her attention back to Edward. "So, um, how long are you here, Edward?"

Edward gave Bella the crooked grin she was already beginning to love. "Couple of years, actually." Bella's surprise must have shown on her face and Edward laughed. "Not **here** here, exactly," he explained. "More like here in Chicago."

"Edward's starting veterinary school at U of C in the fall," Alice piped up. "Isn't it great?"

"Great," Bella managed weakly, tearing her gaze away from Edward's smiling face as she felt her face flush yet again.

"And the first thing I need to do is find a place to live," Edward added. He made a face as he and Bella joined the others in the main room. "Guess I'd better get started on that. I don't suppose I could talk anyone into coming apartment hunting with me, huh?"

"Dude, no worries, you can totally move in with us," Emmett told him.

"Won't that be a little crowded?" Alice asked. "It's only a three bedroom, what about Alex?"

"Alex moved out, actually," Jasper replied.

"What?"

"Alex and Elise eloped last week," Emmett told his little sister.

"What?" Alice practically shrieked. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Emmett shrugged. "Didn't think it was really important 'til now."

Alice gave him an exasperated look and turned to Jasper. "And what's your excuse?"

Jasper smiled. "I didn't know until yesterday. We knew Alex and Elise had gone away but we just got an email from him telling us they'd eloped and are planning on staying in Hawaii indefinitely. That's actually why I couldn't stay over last night – Goodwill came early this morning to pick up his clothes and furniture." He turned to Edward. "So, yeah, man, if you need a place to stay, you should totally move in with us."

"Works for me," Edward said with a smile. "Much as I love you, Alice, I have to say I'd rather have my own room with my own bed instead of spending another night on your floor."

"Excellent!" Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "Now that you have a place to live, you have to think about how you're going to decorate your room."

The gleam in her blue eyes was familiar to everyone in the room and Edward quickly held up a hand. "Sorry, Alice, but I already have everything I need. My stuff got here on Thursday and I was just going to keep it in storage until I found a place to live but now I guess I can call them and get it delivered to Emmett and Jasper's apartment."

"Well, none of us are doing anything," Alice said. "We can help get you settled. Right, guys?"

"Yeah, I'm in," Rose said.

"Me, too," Bella agreed. "I just need to…" She trailed off as she looked down, belatedly realizing that she was still in the short shorts and camisole she had worn to bed. "Get dressed," she finished in a small voice, folding her arms over her chest as her cheeks turned pink.

"Why don't you three shower and I'll go down to Z&H and grab some breakfast for everyone?" Jasper suggested, attempting to ease Bella's embarrassment. "Zaleski & Horvath," he explained to Edward. "It's right down the street. Great bagels and stuff."

Edward nodded his assent. "Bagels sound good to me," he agreed.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett chimed in from the kitchen where he had started digging through the refrigerator.

"That sounds perfect, thanks, baby," Alice said, leaning up to give Jasper a quick kiss. "Edward, you can use my shower after you call the storage place, I'll use Rose's bathroom." Without waiting for a response, she skipped off in the direction of Rose's room.

"Bagels sound good to everyone else?" Jasper asked.

Rose and Bella nodded. "It won't be nearly as good as your amazing French Toast, Bells," Emmett called from the kitchen where he had just finished throwing out the ruined breakfast. "But I don't really think we should let you near the stove right now anyway," he teased.

Bella stuck her tongue out at him. "Whole wheat, please, Jasper. I'm going to go shower." She turned and headed off to her bedroom.

"Nice meeting you, Bella," Edward said.

Bella stumbled and caught herself on her doorframe. "You, too," she mumbled, turning around and giving a weak wave before hurrying into her room and closing the door behind her.

"Still got a way with the women, huh, Eddie?" Emmett said with a huge grin. "I think she likes you."

"Edward," Edward replied. "My name is Edward. And shut up."

Rose saw the blush rising in Edward's cheeks and raised an eyebrow. In the four years she had known Edward, she had never seen him react to a girl this way. Judging by the look on Emmett's face, he had noticed Edward's reaction, too, and Rose quickly spoke up before Emmett could really start in on his brother. "Emmett, go with Jasper and get breakfast. Edward, go call the storage place and see about getting your stuff delivered."

Edward saluted with a grin before heading off to Alice's room to find his cell phone. Emmett kissed Rose's cheek then left with Jasper and Rose walked toward her own bedroom. Looking between Alice and Bella's rooms, she couldn't stop a small smile from crossing her face. Summer was definitely getting off to an interesting start.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the six were at the boys' apartment finishing up getting Edward and his belongings settled in. Jasper and Edward had put Edward's bed together while Rose and Emmett had assembled his two bookshelves. To her extreme embarrassment, Bella had been recruited by Alice to help put away Edward's clothes. Alice claimed she was only doing it to keep Bella safe from any type of construction where she would most likely injure herself, but Bella knew very well that Alice was also using the opportunity to look over Edward's clothing so that she could later make some "suggestions" for additions to his wardrobe. Fortunately, Alice had agreed to let Edward put away the clothing in his dresser so Bella was spared the further humiliation of having to dig through and fold his underwear.

Currently, they were down to the last few boxes and Emmett had started grumbling about being starving. Alice surveyed the room and seemed to come to a decision. "All right, Jasper and I are going to go get you some other essentials," she told her twin. "Rose, can you and Emmett go get some dinner for everyone?"

Rose nodded. "Any requests?"

"Up to you guys," Edward said.

"Yeah, I'm up for whatever," Bella agreed. "You know what I like."

"Think you guys can handle those boxes?" Alice asked.

Edward looked to Bella and she nodded. "Not a problem, Ali," she assured her. "We'll have everything done by the time you guys all get back."

"All right, we'll see you guys in a little while then," Alice said. The others said their goodbyes and the two couples left, leaving Edward and Bella alone in the apartment.

The two settled on the floor near each other, each in front of a large box. Bella cut the tape off of the box in front of her and pulled back the flaps. She was slightly surprised to see that the box was full of books. Looking over, she saw that the box in front of Edward contained similar contents. "Wow, you have a lot of books," Bella blurted out before she could stop herself.

Edward grinned. "Yep. Emmett likes to call me the token dork of the family. Besides, what did you think was going to go on those shelves?" he teased, gesturing to the large bookcase in the corner of the room.

"Well, you do have a lot of CDs," Bella said, smiling back at Edward even as her cheeks turned pink. "They could have feasibly gone there."

"Nope, other shelf," Edward said, pointing to the slightly smaller bookcase next to his closet.

Bella smiled and returned to the box in front of her. As she pulled the books from the box, she saw the familiar "Used" sticker used in college bookstores on the spines of a large number of them. "I thought Alice said you got your degree in Animal Sciences," Bella said.

Edward smiled. "I did. But English was my favorite subject in high school, so every time I could take a class outside my major, I'd take a fiction class. I had some really good Shakespeare and Brit Lit courses and a really interesting one on Science Fiction."

"What was that like?" Bella asked. "I've taken a few Brit Lits and this Shakespeare class that I loved, but I've never had a Science Fiction one. What did you read?"

Edward began to describe the course to her and soon the two were deep in discussion about different novels and authors. As they talked, Bella became more and more comfortable with Edward, her initial awkwardness with him forgotten.

The two were in the middle of a debate over which of Oscar Wilde's plays was his best, with Bella maintaining "An Ideal Husband" was clearly superior while Edward insisted upon "The Importance of Being Earnest," when Alice stuck her head in the door.

Taking in the boxes still filled with books and CDs and the sight of a comfortably chatting Edward and Bella sitting close together on the ground, Alice smiled knowingly to herself – it looked like her plan of leaving the two alone to get to know each other had worked perfectly. "So, did you guys actually get any work done or did you just spend the whole time goofing off?" she teased.

The two looked up in surprise. "Hey, Al, when did you get back?" Bella asked, glancing at the clock Edward had set on his bedside table. She almost gasped out loud when she saw the time. That couldn't possibly be right, could it? She and Edward couldn't _really_ have talked for an hour and a half straight.

Alice followed Bella's glance and she grinned. "Yeah, that _is_ the actual time. Emmett and Rose ran into serious Saturday night spring crowds so it took a lot longer than they'd planned. But come on, they went to Medici's and I'm starving. Let's eat!"

Alice turned and began to head back to the living room. "And I'd advise giving it up, Edward," she called back over her shoulder. "You're never going to change Bella's mind when it comes to books."

Bella and Edward looked at each other and started to laugh. "Well, technically, it's a play," Bella said.

"So does that mean I have a shot?"

Bella screwed up her face and pretended to think a second. "Um, no," she said, shaking her head.

Edward grinned. "I guess I'll have to learn to pick my battles when it comes to you," he teased. Bella blushed and began to pull more books from the box in front of her but Edward placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. "Don't worry about it," he told her. "I can do that later."

"You sure?" Bella asked, her skin tingling beneath Edward's touch.

"Absolutely," Edward said, grinning. "I'll get it all set up later. Let's go get some dinner before Emmett eats it all." He removed his hand but before Bella had time to feel its loss, he reached down and took her hand, helping her to her feet. He held onto her hand a beat longer than necessary before stepping back and gesturing with his arm for her to go first.

Hoping her face wasn't as red as it felt, Bella led the way into the living room where the rest of their friends were seated on the floor, passing around take out containers, drinks, and napkins.

"Bellsy, I got you your portabella sandwich," Emmett said, passing her a styrofoam container as she sat down on the floor by him. "And of course, your weird raspberry lemonade himbo stuff."

"Himbeersaft," Bella corrected, reaching over and taking the take out cup. "Thanks, Em," she said with a smile. "You're the best."

"I know," Emmett said with a grin. He checked inside another container before handing it over to Edward. "Grilled chicken sandwich for you, Eddie. I wanted to get you what I got, but Rosie vetoed me."

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Edward said.

"Garbage burger," Emmett said cheerfully, picking up a thick hamburger and taking a big bite.

Edward stared. "What _is_ that?"

Cheese, bacon, barbecue sauce, jalapenos, and onions," Emmett said around a mouthful of food. "It's awesome."

Edward shot Rose a grateful smile. "Thanks, Rose."

She nodded. "Didn't think it would be the best way to welcome you to town." She turned her attention to Emmett. "And you are so sleeping alone tonight."

"Aww, Ro-ose," Emmett whined.

"After that?" Rose questioned, pointing at the burger in Emmett's hand. "Uh-uh, no way. You're on your own, buddy."

Jasper intervened before Emmett could really start complaining. "So what are your plans for the summer, Edward? Are you interning or working or anything?"

"Actually, no," Edward admitted. "From what I hear, the first year is crazy, so I figured I'd take the summer off and try to prepare for that."

"Jazz and I both start our internships Monday," Alice said, a note of regret in her voice. "And Rose and Emmett both work." She paused a moment and instantly perked up. "But Bella's not doing anything – she could show you around the city!"

Edward and Bella looked at each other awkwardly and then both spoke at the same time.

"Alice, I'm sure Bella has her own stuff to do without you volunteering her as a tour guide," Edward began.

"Alice, I'm sure Edward has his own stuff he wants to do without having to follow me around like a tourist."

They stopped and looked at each other. "Well, I wouldn't mind being a tourist," Edward said shyly. "If it's not too much of a hassle."

Bella shook her head. "I could be your tour guide. I mean, if you want me to," she replied, her skin flushing a deep pink.

"Perfect," Alice said. "Okay, now that that's settled, on to more important things."

Alice began talking about how they would have to take Edward shopping the following day so that she could show her brother all of the best stores but neither Edward nor Bella were really paying attention. Bella kept stealing looks at Edward while Alice prattled on, not really paying any attention to what she was agreeing to when Alice asked her for her opinion on the outing. Edward, meanwhile, was watching Bella out of the corner of his eye, nodding vaguely when Alice asked him a question while having no earthly idea what his sister was talking about.

Edward looked over and caught Bella looking at him. He grinned and she smiled back even as her face turned scarlet and she turned her face to the floor, allowing her hair to hang like a curtain between them. Edward's grin widened as he watched her, thinking to himself that coming to Chicago may have been one of the best decisions he'd ever made.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. I'm not terribly happy with this chapter as it just didn't seem to want to be written and the end of it really just wrote itself so I have no idea how that turned out, but I hope y'all will enjoy it nonetheless (I think if I keep trying to work on it, I'll just end up driving myself crazy and giving up). This chapter is still a bit of set up to see the relationships among the characters but I promise the action will pick up in the next few chapters and there will even be a lemon or two so please bear with me!

**Special Notes**: For Blue-Winter-Angel for letting me bounce ideas off her and for being supportive and just flat out awesome. Love ya, sis! And for lakers0604 – congratulations, girl!

* * *

Chapter 2

Several weeks passed, May turned into June, and everyone settled into their summer routines. Alice was interning with an interior design firm and Jasper spent his weekdays at the local hospital shadowing an old friend of Carlisle's on his psych rounds. Rose was working at a nearby garage for the summer while Emmett worked during the week as a trainer at the campus gym.

Most nights, the six would gather at one of the two apartments. They'd make or order dinner and watch movies or play pub trivia at The Galway Arms, an Irish pub two blocks from the boys' apartment. They spent several nights at the movie theater and one Friday night, they all headed to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs play the Braves.

Most days, however, at least during the week, Edward and Bella spent together just the two of them. They wandered around the U of Chicago campus and checked out the more touristy sights that Bella herself had never actually seen. They went to a White Sox game together and saw a production of Richard III by the Chicago Shakespeare Theater at the Navy Pier. They saw the Sears Tower and spent an entire afternoon in Little Italy, sampling food and sightseeing while Bella picked up the ingredients for that night's Italian meal.

Naturally, they didn't spend every day together, but more often than not, one would call the other or show up at the other's apartment, letting him- or herself in with a spare key, and they would spend the day together. Bella began to feel like she had known Edward for ages and she found she didn't really like thinking about life in Chicago before he had moved to town.

On one particularly hot day, Edward showed up at the girls' apartment a little after noon. He and Bella had decided a few days earlier that they would spend the day at the Lincoln Park Zoo but the day was particularly hot and sticky and Edward was sweating by the time he arrived at the girls' apartment to find Bella sprawled out on the couch reading.

"Hey," she greeted him, glancing up quickly from her book. "Just let me finish this chapter and then we can go."

"No rush," Edward assured her, making his way into the kitchen and pouring them each a glass of lemonade. "It's pretty brutal out there," he told her, draining half his glass in one gulp as he walked back toward Bella and set her glass on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Bella distractedly thanked him for the lemonade before once again turning her full attention to the book in her hands. Edward smiled. He knew they probably wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon – which was fine with him, honestly – and he picked up a copy of Heart of Darkness from the table, dropping into one of the overstuffed chairs near the couch Bella lay on.

He glanced over at Bella as he opened the book, enjoying the sight of her so completely lost in her book, seemingly unaware of her surroundings. As he watched, she drew her bottom lip into her mouth, worrying it between her teeth for a moment before she released it, her full bottom lip revealing itself in its entirety once more. Her tongue poked out quickly to wet her lips and Edward's eyes widened slightly at the sight, swallowing against his suddenly dry throat at the thought of what those lips would feel like beneath his.

Bella turned a page in her book, pulling Edward from his sudden trance and he quickly buried his face in the book, praying she wouldn't look over and see the color he could feel rising in his cheeks. _Calm down_, he sternly directed himself, trying to shove down the heat he suddenly felt rushing through him that had nothing to do with the hot summer day. He had no idea where the thought had come from and he struggled to push it from his mind and focus on the book in front of him.

Eventually, Edward regained control of his thoughts and focused on his book in earnest. He, too, was soon absorbed in his book and the two spent the next few hours in contented silence, the only sounds in the room their breathing and the sound of pages turning.

They were still in the same positions when Emmett and Rose returned late that afternoon. Emmett let the door shut heavily behind him and laughed as Bella jumped at the sudden noise. "What are you guys doing home so early?"

Emmett laughed again. "Early?" Bellsy, it's almost six o'clock."

"No, it's n-" Bella began to protest, cutting herself off as she glanced at the clock on the TV's cable box, her eyes widening when she saw that Emmett was telling the truth.

"Let me guess," Rose said, dropping into an armchair. "You guys haven't moved all day."

Bella blushed as Edward answered for them both. "Yep. Why go out in that sauna when we could sit here in air conditioned comfort?"

Emmett snorted. "You are so lame."

Rose ignored him. "Fair enough. I wish the garage's air conditioner worked this well. So, when was the last time either of you actually moved?" At the sound of Bella's stomach growling loudly, Rose smirked. "Sounds like lunchtime."

Bella ducked her head. "Maybe," she mumbled.

Rose smiled. "Don't worry, Alice and Jasper are bringing home Chinese food. They should be here soon."

As if on cue, the door to the apartment opened and Alice and Jasper walked in carrying several large bags of delicious smelling food. "Hope everyone's hungry," Alice sang. "We may have ordered a little too much."

"No such thing," Rose said, standing up and going to join Alice and Jasper in the kitchen. "I'm starving."

"And I'm sure Bella and Edward are starved after the exciting day they had," Emmett teased, heading to the kitchen as well.

Emmett began telling Jasper and Alice how he and Rose had found Edward and Bella when they returned from work and Bella tuned out, becoming lost in her own thoughts. She couldn't believe that she and Edward had spent an entire afternoon together just reading. She had never been able to do that with anyone before – to be fair, Alice was far too excitable to focus on reading for very long and Rose preferred her car magazines which never took her very long to get through. But the fact that she and Edward were comfortable enough with each other to be able to spend hours together just reading in total silence was nothing short of extraordinary in her opinion. Aside from Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper, Bella was very careful with how much she let other people see of the real her and didn't normally allow herself to become close to anyone. The fact that she already felt so comfortable with and closely connected to Edward was both a little frightening and strangely thrilling.

And she knew her friends, especially Emmett, would probably continue to tease Edward and her, but she couldn't really find it in her to be embarrassed. As far as she was concerned, this had been a perfect afternoon and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

* * *

The following week was Alice and Edward's birthday and the six of them decided to have a dinner party at the girls' apartment to celebrate. Emmett took his siblings out for the day while Rose and Jasper stayed behind at the apartment to help Bella prepare dinner.

Dinner was a spirited affair filled with talking, teasing, and laughter. They polished off three bottles of wine among the six of them and everyone was feeling a bit tipsy by the time the meal was finished. Alice suggested a game of Apples to Apples and everyone enthusiastically agreed. Rose and Emmett cleared off the table while Jasper and Alice went in search of the game and Bella began washing the stack of dishes in the sink while Edward volunteered to dry. Bella's ipod was in the dock on the kitchen counter and the mood was festive even as the four of them carried out the most mundane of chores.

Edward had just finished putting away the pot he had been drying when the ipod switched over to a familiar song. As Bella reached for another dish, Edward turned to her and grabbed her soapy hands. "They're playing our song. May I have this dance?" he asked with a cheeky grin, pulling her to him as Axle Whitehead's "You" played in the background.

Bella giggled. "You may, but your feet will probably end up regretting it," she warned him.

"Just follow my lead and we should both make it out unscathed," he said with a wink.

Bella shrieked and giggled as Edward twirled her wildly around the kitchen, swinging her away from him and then back into his arms before dipping her backwards so that her hair brushed the ground.

"Edward, the point of dancing is not to make your partner throw up," Alice teased from the living room.

"What?" Edward stopped twirling Bella and pulled her close to him. "My dancing skills have been called into question," Edward told her mock seriously. "I must defend my good name."

"Oh, you're really asking for trouble for your feet now," Bella said with a grin. "Don't say I didn't warn you," she teased as she put her hands on Edward's shoulders.

Edward reached up and shifted Bella's arms so that they were wrapped around his neck before pulling her closer. "I'll take my chances," he replied, his eyes sparkling.

Bella rested her head against Edward's chest and closed her eyes with a small sigh. His warmth surrounded her and she let herself just enjoy the feelings of safety and contentment that flooded her as his arms held her close.

Edward gently rested his head against Bella's, reveling in the feel of her body in his arms and the sweet scent of her hair that filled his senses. He could have danced with her all night, but unfortunately, not everyone seemed to agree with this plan. Dimly, he heard his older brother's voice at the edge of his consciousness.

"Come on already, you guys," Emmett called from the living room. "I wanna start this game tonight, okay?"

Edward reluctantly released Bella and they separated. "I still have to finish the dishes," Bella protested.

"Bella, you made that fantastic meal for us - we can handle clean up, okay? Now get your butts in here," Alice instructed.

"Looks like the natives are restless," Edward said with a wink. "To be continued." He took Bella's hand in his and bowed, placing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand. Before she even had a chance to blush, Edward stood up straight and led her into the living room where their friends were waiting.

They took their seats in the circle on the floor, sitting next to each other with Alice on Bella's right and Rose seated on Edward's left side. Rose had brought a new bottle of wine into the living room with her and she poured it into paper cups and passed it around.

"Classy," Alice teased.

Rose shrugged. "The dishwasher's already full, no point in making more work for ourselves."

"Good point," Alice conceded. "Okay, everyone knows how to play, right?" she continued as Jasper dealt out red cards to everyone. "Someone pulls a green card with a description on it and then we all have to put in the cards we have that we think best match that description."

Everyone nodded and Alice turned to Bella. "Bella, you want to start?"

"Sure," Bella agreed, pulling a card from the deck while the others sorted their red cards. She looked at the card she had chosen and smiled. "Brilliant. Having or showing great intelligence, talent, quality, etc."

Edward pulled his card almost immediately and set it in the middle of the circle with a grin. "Think you got it all sewn up, huh, Eddie?" Emmett said, adding his own card to the pile. "No way you can beat what I just put in."

"We'll see," Edward said mildly as Jasper, Alice, and Rose added their cards to the pile.

Bella turned over the cards in her hand. "Pro Wrestling. Um, I'm gonna go with no on that one. My 16th Birthday. Alice?"

Alice giggled. "It really was!" she said. "We had this amazing joint Sweet Sixteen and-"

"And you didn't invite me," Bella said, faking a pout. "So you lose, too. Cheesecake. Well, I could make a case for that, but I think it's between these last two. Albert Einstein and Oscar Wilde." She paused a beat. "No contest – Oscar wins it."

"What? No way!" Emmett exclaimed. "Come on, I had Einstein! The man was a freaking genius!"

"So was Oscar Wilde," Bella said. "And a far bigger and more important one as far as I'm concerned."  
"Gotta know your audience, Em," Edward said, winking at Bella as he took the green card from her.

"My turn," Alice announced, pulling a card from the deck before Emmett could continue complaining. "Romantic. Displaying or expressing love or strong affection. Ardent, passionate, fervent."

Five cards were quickly tossed into the center and Alice eagerly picked them up. She looked at the first card. "Valentine's Day? Ugh, Seriously?"

Bella giggled. "Sorry, Al," she said. "I really didn't have anything for that so I figured why not go for the complete opposite as far as you're concerned."

Alice wrinkled her nose. "Some stupid day telling me when to tell the people I love that I love them is **not** romantic." She shuffled through the other cards. "Hmm. Sunsets are nice but a bit cliché," she said, adding it to the other card on the floor. "Same goes for poetry."

Alice looked at the two remaining cards in her hand. "Flowers are sweet, but I think singing is more romantic," she decided. Rose grinned and took the card from Alice.

"How is singing romantic?" Emmett wanted to know.

"Are you kidding?" Alice asked. "Think of all those movies where the guy writes a song about a girl or serenades her at her window." She sighed. "It's seriously romantic."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Sure. Jasper, you're up."

Jasper took his turn, followed by Emmett, Alice winning both of those rounds. Then it was Rose's turn. "Dazzling. Amazing; overwhelming; bewildering."

_Edward's smile_, Bella thought instantly. Then her brain caught up with her thoughts and she blushed furiously. Where on earth had that come from? _Better hold off on any more wine_, she decided, ducking her head and hoping no one had noticed the color rise in her cheeks as she hastily pulled out a card and added it to the pile in the middle.

When everyone had submitted their cards, Rose turned them all over in front of her, immediately noticing that one of the cards was blank. "Whose blank?" she asked. Emmett raised his hand. "Okay," Rose said. "What'd you choose?"

Emmett grinned. "A 1966 Aston Martin DB6."

"Winner!" Rose declared, smiling as she handed over the card.

"How's that for knowing your audience, Eddie?" Emmett crowed. "Rose DVRed that episode of _Top Gear_ both here and at our apartment."

Rose sighed. "Such an amazing car. I would kill to get under one of those."

"I'd settle for being **in** one," Edward replied. "Or maybe the new Vanquish S. Zero to Sixty in under five seconds and a top speed over 200 miles an hour."

Alice shook her head. "Uh-uh," she disagreed. "A Porsche 911 GT2. Tops out at 204 and it's **so** pretty. I would look fantastic in one of those. Maybe in black. Or yellow," she said thoughtfully.

Bella looked at Jasper questioningly but he just shrugged. Neither had the same affinity for speed that the other Cullens and Rosalie had, nor did either even own a car, both seeing it as being unnecessary in the city.

Edward caught the exchange out of the corner of his eye and tried to pull the conversation back to the game. "Sorry. My turn," he said, pulling a green card. "Sexy," he announced with a grin. "Arousing, appealing, seductive."

Only Jasper saw Alice look quickly from Bella to Edward with a small smile on her face before she added her card to the pile in front of her twin. When everyone had added their cards, Edward picked them up and began to sort through them.

He set down three cards without comment before turning over the remaining two. "Marilyn Monroe or Intelligence." He paused only a moment before picking up one of the cards. "Sorry, Marilyn," he said. "Intelligence wins this one for me."

"What? God, I forgot how weird you are, Eddie," Emmett grumbled. "It sucks playing with you."

"Hey, I'm not denying that Marilyn was a sex symbol," Edward said. "I'm just saying, a lot of this game goes on personal preference. And I find intelligent women extremely sexy."

Once again, only Jasper saw as Alice smiled triumphantly to herself before leaning forward to take the green card from her brother.

They continued on this way for awhile, Jasper and Alice both taking an early lead. Edward was just handing a green card to Jasper after Jasper had won the round when Bella rose from her seat next to him. "I'll be right back," she said.

Moments later, the lights dimmed and Bella returned to the living room carrying a cake in each hand. "Happy birthday to you," she began to sing, Emmett, Rose, and Jasper joining in. She gestured to the coffee table with her head and Edward and Alice obediently moved to the table as their friends finished singing.

"Chocolate cake with vanilla icing for Alice," Bella said, placing a cake in front of Alice. "And marble cake with chocolate icing for Edward."

Edward smiled at her. "You remembered." During one of their marathon conversations about any random topic that came to mind, he and Bella had discussed favorite desserts from their childhood. Bella had fondly reminisced about double fudge brownies her mother had used to make while Edward practically drooled over memories of birthdays with marbled chocolate and yellow cake with chocolate icing. Already knowing Alice's favorite type of cake, Bella had called Esme for the recipes and had spent the morning making both cakes and their icing from scratch.

"Of course," she said, her cheeks pink as she took a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table.

Edward began to draw in a deep breath to blow out his candles when his breath suddenly caught at the sight before him. Bella sat across from him, her face illuminated by the candlelight, and Edward suddenly knew exactly what he was going to wish for.

When the candles had all been blown out, Bella jumped up and turned the lights back up, stopping in the kitchen to grab two knives for the cakes.

"What'd you wish for, Eddie?" Emmett asked with a knowing look as everyone returned to their circle on the floor while Bella began to cut the cakes.

"Can't tell you," Edward said, winking at Bella. "Otherwise, it won't come true."

Alice spoke up as Bella blushed. "Well, I can tell you guys what I wished for," she said. "Because I know it will come true no matter what."

"What did you wish for?" Bella asked, her cheeks still flushed.

Alice smiled. "That all of you guys will always be in my life and be my family. Not that I need to wish for that, since I know we'll always all be together," she added, tapping her forehead lightly with her finger. "But a little extra luck never hurt anybody." Bella smiled to herself. Alice liked to consider herself something of a psychic. She had to admit, however, that her tiny friend had been right too often to just dismiss the idea out of hand.

"Okay, enough of the touchy feel stuff," Emmett announced. "Cake time!" He dashed into the kitchen and returned with plates, forks, and a new bottle of wine. "No reason for you to go all the way back to the kitchen with those," he told Bella with a wink.

Bella laughed. Between Emmett and Alice – who had such a surprisingly large appetite, Bella often teased her about having a hollow leg – she had known that neither cake was going to make it through the night. She sliced the two cakes into several pieces and set them on plates, handing Emmett and Alice slices of both while Jasper and Rose opted for the chocolate and vanilla and Edward and Bella had slices of marble cake.

Bella took her seat between Alice and Edward and watched the two for their reactions as they took their first bites of their respective cakes. Alice took one bite and sagged against Jasper. "Oh **God** that's good," she sighed, closing her eyes in bliss.

Bella giggled at Alice's typically over the top reaction before turning to Edward. He swallowed before flashing Bella his crooked grin. "This is amazing, Bella," he said honestly. "Thank you."

"Every bit as good as mom's," Emmett chimed in. "She'll be glad to know she put her recipes in extremely capable hands."

Alice's head shot up. "You made these from scratch? From our mom's recipe?"

Blushing, Bella ducked her head. "Yeah. It was fun," she mumbled.

"Oh, Bella, thank you!" Alice said, flinging herself at her best friend and throwing her arms around her neck. Edward caught Bella's plate before Alice knocked her into his side. "That was so sweet!"

Jasper gently reached over and pulled Alice back to his side as Edward helped Bella sit up. "Uh-oh. She's had wine **and** cake," he murmured in Bella's ear. "Total sugar high. Looks like it's going to be a long night." He winked at her as he returned her cake and Bella couldn't help laughing.

"What have I done?" she whispered back in mock horror. "Think of the carnage!"

Edward grinned. "Don't worry," he told her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "I'll protect you from the crazed pixie."

"I heard that!" Alice exclaimed from the other side of Bella, reaching over to smack Edward's thigh. "It's your turn, Bella. Let's get back to this game and me kicking the rest of your asses."

"Ha!" Emmett exclaimed. "I'm ready now. You guys are about to get your asses handed to you!"

Bella picked up a green card and smiled. "Alice, you'd better hope no one has a blank," she teased. "Crazy-"

"Hey!" Alice protested, shoving Bella lightly. "I think you've been spending way too much time with him," she said, pointing accusingly at Edward. "He's corrupted you."

"Insane," Bella continued through her giggles. "Senseless, impractical, totally unsound."

"You have to admit it fits," Emmett cracked, ducking behind Rose when Alice turned her gaze on him.

"Come on, now," Jasper said mildly. "What happened to all the ass kicking I was promised? Time to put up or shut up, y'all."

Rose slapped down her card. "Bring it on, bitches," she said with a grin, refilling her now empty cup of wine.

The trash talking continued as everyone added their cards and helped themselves to more wine and cake and Jasper tossed his card in before leaning back and surveying his friends. Emmett and Rose were arguing about whether or not Emmett was going to make a comeback while Bella laughed at something Edward had just said to her. Beside him, Alice was practically vibrating with excitement as she shuffled through her cards and he smiled to himself. Yep, it was definitely going to be a long night.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me. Tom and Fred are based in reality and belong to themselves.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I did want to get this up yesterday or earlier because of the content but events beyond my control (work and family) unfortunately combined to make that not happen. As always, all songs used in this story are posted in my profile and I definitely recommend listening to them!

**Special Notes**: For Blue-Winter-Angel for letting me bounce ideas off her, making suggestions, and for being supportive and just flat out awesome. Love ya, sis! Also, for twilight-is-lovee for calling me out on my updating timeline ;). Sorry it wasn't up sooner!

* * *

Chapter 3

"Bella, please? They look so good."

Bella shook her head firmly. "No, Alice. I am not wearing those. I already let you do my hair and makeup and it's not like any of this is necessary anyway."

"But you should always look your best. You never know who you'll see," Alice wheedled.

Bella rolled her eyes and Rose spoke up as she entered Bella's bedroom to join her friends. "We know exactly who we'll see, Alice," she said patiently. "Just let Bella be comfortable and let's go already."

It was early evening on the 4th of July and the girls were heading over to the boys' apartment to watch the fireworks from the roof of their building. They had all been ready to leave nearly half an hour earlier, but Alice had been attempting to get Bella to wear a pair of heeled sandals with her cropped jeans and deep blue fitted t-shirt. Bella, naturally, had refused, preferring the comfortable, worn flip-flops that were already on her feet and the two had been at an impasse for the last 20 minutes. Rose had finally gotten tired of waiting and had gone to Bella's room to be the deciding voice in the argument and get the other two out the door.

Alice pouted. "Fine. But you know I'm right about this."

It was Rose's turn to roll her eyes. "Fine, yes, Alice, you're right about the shoes. Now let's go, the guys are waiting on us to eat and you know Emmett won't last much longer." Bella shot Rose a grateful look as the girls exited her bedroom.

The boys were providing dinner that night while the girls were bringing the drinks and blankets to sit on. Bella had baked cupcakes for dessert and she stopped in the kitchen to grab the carry along container while Alice gathered up the blankets and Rose picked up the box of beer and sodas.

When they reached the boys' apartment building, Alice and Rose headed up to the roof while Bella went to their apartment to store the cupcakes until they were ready to eat them. "Hello?" Bella called as she let herself into the apartment with her spare key.

"Hey, Bella," Edward said, giving her her favorite crooked grin as he walked out of his bedroom.

"Hey," she said, returning his smile. "Alice and Rose headed up to the roof already. I just wanted to put the cupcakes in the fridge so the icing won't melt before we can eat them."

"You made cupcakes?" Edward's eyes lit up as he joined her in the kitchen. "Hmm, maybe I should have one now before Emmett eats them all," he said, eyeing the container as Bella placed it in the refrigerator.

"Well, you'll have to bring it with you then. We don't want to miss the fireworks!" Bella told him, rocking back on her heels in her excitement.

"Didn't see you there, Alice," Edward cracked.

Bella wrinkled her nose at him. "How can you not be excited? Fireworks are, like, one of the best things ever," she said enthusiastically.

"I am excited," Edward replied. "Just not quite as excited as you, I think. I take it you're a fan?" he teased as they exited the apartment and began to walk down the hall. He clearly remembered several conversations with Bella where she had waxed poetic on the "amazingness" that was fireworks.

Bella couldn't help the enormous grin that spread across her face. "I love them," she said, her voice almost giddy, Edward's teasing going completely unnoticed. "There's just something magical about them. They're one of those things from your childhood that never gets old. Like swing sets and chocolate milk."

Edward smiled at the innocent enthusiasm radiating from Bella. "Come on, we need to get up there before they start!" she said, opening the door to the stairwell at the end of the hall. With Edward following closely behind her, she hurried up the stairs to the roof.

The door to the roof was already open, held in place by a large cinderblock, and in her excitement, Bella didn't notice the lip of the doorway sticking up until she felt her foot catch on it. She closed her eyes as the roof came rushing up to meet her but instead of her face hitting the ground, a pair of strong arms grabbed her waist from behind, pulling her back against a warm, hard chest.

Bella allowed herself the luxury of enjoying Edward's embrace for a moment before pulling away. "Sorry," she mumbled, daring to look up at him as her cheeks flushed pink.

"That's what I'm here for," he told her with a grin.

"Thanks," she said, momentarily unable to look away from his gaze.

Seconds later, however, Emmett's voice carried across the roof to where she and Edward stood, effectively pulling her from the moment. "Nice catch, Eddie!" he boomed. "Probably just saved us a trip to the ER tonight."

Bella stuck her tongue out at Emmett and Edward chuckled as they made their way across the roof to their friends. "Couldn't let Bella miss her fireworks."

"And you wanted me to wear heels," Bella said, shooting Alice a look. "If I didn't know better, Ali, I'd swear you were trying to kill me," she teased.

Edward laughed as he recalled a conversation with Bella about how much Alice loved treating Bella like her own life sized Barbie doll. Bella had confided that she'd once made the mistake of telling Alice that if a pair of shoes wasn't flip flops or Chucks, she wasn't interested. Alice's reaction had apparently been akin to watching someone kill her puppy.

It was Alice's turn to stick her tongue out. "You know you looked great in those." She turned her attention toward Edward who was still laughing quietly and narrowed her eyes playfully at her brother. "And you! Another one who shuns my talents. Would it kill you to take my advice every once in awhile? You're as bad as she is with the whole comfort is more important thing," she told him.

Edward smiled. "At least I'm in good company," he said, winking at Bella over Alice's head.

"All right, enough talking, people," Emmett spoke up. "Let's get to the food part of the evening already!"

Jasper and Alice spread out one of the blankets and Edward and Rose set out the sandwiches, salads, and chips from the local deli while Emmett took everyone's drink orders and handed out sodas and beers from the cooler he and Jasper had brought up earlier. Bella unfolded the two other blankets for everyone to sit on and they all spread out with their food and drinks.

About twenty minutes later, they were all laughing and talking as they finished up their food when there was a flash in the sky followed by a loud bang. Bella grabbed Edward's hand in excitement. "It's starting!" she practically squealed, her enthusiasm at that moment rivaling Alice's. She let go of Edward's hand and distractedly shoved her plate and drink off to the side before stretching out on her back on the blanket she had been sitting on. Alice moved to sit in Jasper's lap and Emmett and Rose lay down side by side to watch. After a moment's hesitation, Edward lay down on the blanket next to Bella.

Bella smiled happily as she folded her arms behind her head, never taking her eyes off of the spectacular display in the sky. Edward, however, was far more interested in the person lying next to him on the ground. Their bodies were only inches apart, the air between them seeming to hum with electricity, and Edward had to force himself to focus on the sky instead of reaching over and taking Bella's hand in his. After a few moments of watching the fireworks, however, Edward gave up and turned his full attention to Bella as she lay beside him.

The expressions on Bella's face alternated between grins that threatened to split her face and looks of sheer wonder when her mouth would just hang open as she watched the sky. The fireworks illuminated her face, reflecting in her eyes that were shining with excitement and Edward felt an overwhelming tenderness consume him as he watched her.

He wasn't quite certain what to make of his feelings for the amazing woman at his side. She was so completely unlike any other woman he had ever known and lately, he found his thoughts drifting to her whenever they weren't together. She was brilliant, passionate about the things that mattered to her, and extremely kind and compassionate and he was starting to notice that he had actually begun to feel a little at loose ends on those rare days when they didn't hang out together. As he watched her watching the fireworks, his thoughts drifted to a shopping trip to Target he and Bella had taken earlier in the week.

It had been a quick run to grab some things for their celebration on the 4th, but at one point, Bella had split off from Edward, saying she needed to pick up some personal items. As promised, she had met him ten minutes later at the checkout and they had separately bagged up their orders and headed out to the car.

While Edward had begun putting their shopping bags in the trunk, Bella had dashed off, telling him she'd be right back. He hadn't paid much attention until he'd finished loading the bags, only then looking around the parking lot to locate her. He'd finally found her standing in a grassy area on the edge of the parking lot talking to a man who had a black dog at his side. As he'd watched, Bella had set down a small box next to the dog before handing it a bone and scratching it behind the ears. She'd then turned back to the man, handing him a bottle of water and what looked like a few dollars. She'd waved goodbye, scratched the dog's head again, and headed back to the car.

Edward turned the car on while he was waiting for her, cranking up the air conditioning as Bella slid into the front seat next to him. "Who was that?" he asked curiously.

"Tom and Fred," she answered as she buckled her seatbelt. "Fred's the dog. They live here," she explained at the look on Edward's face.

"In those apartments across the street?"

"No, here," Bella said, gesturing toward the donation bins that lined the entrance to the complex.

Her meaning became clear to Edward as they drove out of the shopping complex and Bella waved to Tom. He had thought he had seen a box of milkbones in one of Bella's bags but had dismissed the thought as none of the six of them had a dog. Apparently, Bella had taken the time to pick up a few things for Tom and Fred during their shopping trip, something she probably wouldn't even have mentioned if Edward hadn't asked her about it.

He glanced over at Bella as she fiddled with his ipod, shaking his head in admiration. The girl was something special, there was no doubt about that.

Edward was suddenly pulled from his thoughts by the very focus of his daydream herself. A small gasp escaped Bella as the fireworks went into their grand finale and in her excitement, her left hand shot out to rest on Edward's arm as she watched the sky. All too soon for Edward's liking, the last of the fireworks faded and Bella removed her hand as she sat up.

"That was amazing," she sighed dreamily.

Edward agreed as he stood, extending a hand to Bella to help her with her feet. They began gathering the plates and bottles, tossing them into a bag while they discussed the fireworks and which kinds had been their favorites.

The focus of Edward's attention throughout the fireworks had not gone unnoticed by everyone. As he folded up the blanket he and Rose had been sitting on, Emmett watched Edward and Bella's interaction as they gathered up the remnants of their picnic, his expression thoughtful.

His brother was a good person, this Emmett knew without a doubt, and he trusted that he would never do anything to hurt Bella. But there were certain areas in which Bella was still very fragile and Emmett wasn't sure just how much Edward knew about her past.

He didn't want to talk to Alice about it, not yet anyway. On the incredibly unlikely off chance that Alice hadn't noticed the whatever it was between the two, Emmett didn't want to be the one to bring it to her attention or encourage any matchmaking. Bella and Edward were not the type to be forced together. If there was something there, they would come to it in their own time, on their own terms.

He decided that the best thing to do at the moment would be just to keep an eye on the two. If things seemed to change or get serious, he would take Edward aside and explain a few things to him about Bella. Until then, he trusted them both to handle this situation in whatever way was best for the two of them.

He grinned to himself as he watched Edward and Bella. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't going to tease his little brother relentlessly any and every chance he got. After all, wasn't that what big brothers were for?

* * *

After Emmett had proclaimed the night to "still be in diapers," they had decided to walk over to The Galway Arms for a drink. The Irish Rovers, a band made up of four men somewhere in their late 30s and early 40s who were a usual fixture at the Arms, were playing that night and their traditional folk music played in the background as the six found a table near the makeshift stage.

They had been there for about twenty minutes when Jasper excused himself from the table. Alice was deep in conversation with Edward and Bella and barely glanced up.

A few minutes later, Emmett glanced up at the stage and nodded, turning to his little sister. "Hey Al?" he called across the table. She paused in her conversation and looked across the table at her big brother. "Check it out," he said with a grin, inclining his head toward the stage.

Alice looked over at the stage quickly and then did a double take. There, standing in the middle of the regular band members, was Jasper, acoustic guitar in hand. Jasper smiled at Alice before stepping up to the microphone.

"This is for Alice." Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rose cheered and clapped along with the rest of the crowd but for once, Alice was speechless as she stared openmouthed at Jasper on stage.

"_Well, I took a stroll on the old long walk_

_Of a day -I-ay-I-ay_

_I met a little girl and we stopped to talk_

_Of a fine soft day -I-ay-I-ay_

_And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do?_

_'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue"_

Jasper winked at Alice and she giggled.

"_And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl_

_'Round the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl_

_We were halfway there when the rain came down_

_Of a day -I-ay-I-ay"_

Bella heard someone singing in a beautiful clear tenor nearby and when she turned, she saw to her surprise that it was Edward. He saw her looking at him and winked as he continued singing along with Jasper and several of the pub's other patrons.

"_And she asked me up to her flat downtown_

_Of a fine soft day -I-ay-I-ay_

_And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do?_

_'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue_

_So I took her hand and I gave her a twirl_

_And I lost my heart to a Galway girl_

_When I woke up I was all alone_

_With a broken heart and a ticket home_

_And I ask you now, tell me what would you do_

_If her hair was black and her eyes were blue?_

'_Cause I've traveled around, I've been all over this world_

_Boys, I ain't never seen nothin' like a Galway girl"_

The pub erupted into applause as the band finished and Jasper handed the guitar back to a member of the Rovers as he shook his hand. He stepped off of the stage and returned to the table as the others continued cheering for him.

Alice leapt into Jasper's arms, wrapping her arms and legs around him. "Oh, Jazz! That was so beautiful," she told him. "It was better than the movies! It was perfect. Thank you." She stopped talking only long enough to kiss him thoroughly before resting her head on his shoulder. "I love you," she murmured.

Alice and Jasper were not ones to normally engage in public displays of affection and Bella found herself smiling so hard at the scene before her, her face hurt. She turned to Edward and found to her surprise that he was watching her. He grinned at her and Bella felt her stomach flip crazily for a moment as her cheeks darkened and she glanced down at her glass of cider. She heard Edward chuckle softly before he turned to high five Jasper as the table congratulated him.

The rest of the time they were at the pub, people continued to come up to their table to praise Jasper for both his romantic gesture and musical talent. Alice, who remained in Jasper's lap from the moment he sat down, smiled brilliantly the whole time.

About an hour after Jasper's performance, the six decided to head back to the boys' apartment to just veg and hang out for the rest of the night. They quickly paid their tab and Jasper and Alice stopped to thank The Rovers once more before they joined their friends outside.

"Well done, man," Emmett said to Jasper as they began to make their way back to the apartment. "I really wasn't sure you were going to be able to pull that off without her finding out."

Realization dawned and Alice turned to her big brother. "That's why you suggested we go out," she realized. "You were in on it!"

Emmett shrugged. "Maybe. And you never saw it coming," he teased, a huge grin splitting his face. "Maybe you're losing your touch."

Alice made a face at Emmett but her retort died on her lips at the sound of Jasper's voice. "And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do," he began.

"'Cause her hair was blonde and her eyes were blue," Emmett continued, swinging his and Rose's clasped hands.

Alice stuck her tongue out at Emmett. "That's not how it goes," she informed him.

"'Cause her hair was brown and her eyes were, too," Edward sang, grinning at Bella who blushed scarlet in response.

"You guys suck," Alice informed her brothers.

Edward and Emmett exchanged a look over Alice's head. Before she knew what was happening, Emmett ran behind her he swung her up on his shoulders. "And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do?" the others sang to Alice. "'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue."

"Put me down!" Alice shrieked, smacking Emmett's head ineffectively with her tiny fists.

"Nope. Door to door service," Emmett announced as he continued down the street toward the boys' apartment building.

"Look at it this way, Al," Edward teased. "For once, you're the tallest one in the group."

Alice gave him the finger over her shoulder as Emmett began to jog down the street. "Well, then, faster, horse!" she demanded.

"I'm not a horse," Emmett protested.

"You are right now. Now giddy-up," Alice told him, smacking the back of his head for good measure.

"See you later," Rose called.

"Don't eat all the cupcakes!" Edward added.

By the time the others reached the apartment, Emmett was sprawled out on one of the couches, TV remote in hand. Alice, however, was nowhere to be seen. "She's in your room," he told Jasper, never looking up from the set as he flipped rapidly through the channels. "Something about your clothes being more comfortable than hers."

Jasper walked toward his room as Rose flopped down next to Emmett, snatching the remote from his hand. "I don't know how you can even see what's on, you go so damn fast," she said as he began to protest.

Edward and Bella headed into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks for everyone. They had just pulled some drinks from the refrigerator when they heard Emmett's excited exclamation from the next room.

"Oh, hell yes!" he cried. "_Goonies_!"

Edward and Bella hurried back into the room, their arms laden down with drinks and snacks. "Is it near the beginning?" Edward asked, handing Emmett and Rose two of the sodas he carried before placing the other two cans, a bag of tortilla chips, and the tupperware container of Bella's cupcakes on the coffee table. "Oh, sweet," he said, looking at the screen as he sat on the floor next to Bella. "We didn't miss the truffle shuffle."

Bella giggled, handing Edward one of the cans of Diet Pepsi in her hands. "Personally, I like when Corey Feldman tells the cleaning woman they're going to feed her to the cockroaches." She scooped a handful of Pirate's Booty from the bag she held before offering the bag to Edward.

"Ooh, pass me some of that, Bells," Emmett called as Edward helped himself to the cheesy puffed rice snack and then handed the bag back to Bella.

Bella held the bag to her chest protectively. "No way," she said. "My booty."

"Oh, sure," Emmett grumbled. "Edward gets your booty but I don't."

Next to him, Rose snorted and Bella's cheeks flushed. Emmett opened his mouth to speak again, a wicked gleam in his eye, but whatever he was about to say was lost to Alice and Jasper's entrance. "Emmett, leave Bella's booty alone," Alice instructed, picking up the bag of Tostitos on the table and throwing it at him before joining Jasper on the other couch.

"Eff that noise," Emmett said, tossing the tortilla chips aside. "I see cupcakes!" He grabbed two cupcakes from the table before flopping back onto the couch. Everyone else grabbed cupcakes and snacks and Jasper turned off the lights in the room as they all settled in to watch the movie.

Several hours later, Alice reached off the edge of the couch she was lying on with Jasper and fumbled around a minute for the TV remote. _Goonies_ had been followed by _The Princess Bride_ and at various points during the movie, everyone had dropped off to sleep until Alice was the only one still awake.

She paused a moment in her hunt for the remote, looking around at the rest of her family, sound asleep in various positions. Bella and Edward were asleep near the other couch, Bella with her head on a pillow in Edward's lap while Edward leaned back against the couch behind him, one arm draped across Bella's side. Alice could already imagine just how red Bella's face would no doubt be when she woke up in that position, but for the moment, both she and Edward looked extremely content.

Rose and Emmett were on the cushions and pillows Emmett had pulled onto the floor. They were sound asleep with Emmett spooning up behind Rose and Alice marveled at just how happy and peaceful Rose could look when she was in Emmett's arms.

Behind her, Jasper shifted, mumbling something unintelligible as his arm tightened across her waist and he pulled her closer to his body. Alice's fingers came into contact with the remote and she picked it up, turning the TV off and leaving the room in darkness. With a happy sigh, she settled back in Jasper's arms and closed her eyes. At that moment, life was just about perfect.

* * *

**Okay, some of you may recognize "Galway Girl" from the movie P.S. I Love You. Now to be fair, I've never actually seen the movie, really not being a chick flick kind of girl. However, my best friend did send me that clip from the movie because she knows I love Jeffrey Dean Morgan so I have seen the part of the movie where that song is sung and that's why I downloaded the song. It then came up on my ipod on the way to work one day and when I heard the line "her hair was black and her eyes were blue," I immediately thought of Alice and the second half of this chapter was born. So it's not meant to copy that scene but of course there are similarities. Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. I really appreciate it, more than I can put into words! In this chapter, the group visits an amusement park. Links to pictures of several of the rides they go on can be found in my profile.

**Special Notes**: For my sis on her birthday (it's still the 12th in the States!). Happy birthday, Lisey!

* * *

Chapter 4

During the first weekend in August, the group decided to spend one of their last Saturdays before classes started again at Six Flags Great America. Early that Saturday morning, they all piled into Emmett's jeep as it was the only car that would fit all of them, and drove up along Lake Michigan to the park.

Excitement was high among the group as the entered the park and Rose immediately began dragging Emmett toward one of her favorite rides the second they walked through the gates. "Go Karts first!" she said excitedly.

After exiting the Go Karts, the group crossed the carousel plaza to the Columbia Carousel. "Oooh, I love this thing!" Alice squealed, looking up at the ten story, two level carousel before them.

"I'll wait here with the bags," Jasper volunteered.

"Yeah, I'm with Jazz," Edward agreed.

Rose decided that she wanted to go get a drink so it was the slightly smaller group of Alice, Bella, and Emmett who boarded the carousel.

The carousel started up and Edward had to admit it was impressive as he watched the massive structure begin to rotate. Jasper pulled Alice's digital camera from her bag and snapped a few pictures. "You can thank me later," he told Edward, handing him the camera.

Edward shot Jasper a questioning glance before looking down at the camera screen. The display showed a picture of Bella, her hands wrapped around her carousel horse's pole, her head thrown back and her hair blowing lazily around her face as she smiled blissfully.

A gentle smile crossed Edward's face as he stared at the picture before he became aware of Jasper watching him. "I don't know what you're talking about," Edward mumbled, his cheeks slightly flushed as he shoved the camera back at Jasper. Jasper just smiled, tucking the camera back into Alice's bag as Rose rejoined them.

After Bella, Alice, and Emmett came back to the group, Emmett wanted to go on the bumper cars and they followed that with the Roaring Rapids, Hometown Fun Machine, and the Chubasco. Then they entered the County Fair section of the park and Emmett's excitement somehow kicked up another notch.

"Hell yeah, time for The Demon!" he whooped excitedly. "Come on!" He grabbed Bella and Rose by the hand and dragged them into the relatively short line for the wild coaster.

"Um, Em, I don't know," Bella said nervously. The Demon rollercoaster was Emmett's favorite ride at Six Flags but Bella has always managed to avoid it in her previous visits to the park.

"Come on, Bells," Emmett begged. "It's so much fun. And it's really short – it's only, like, two minutes. Besides, now we have an even amount of people. You don't want to make Edward ride alone, do you? Or with some random chick?"

Bella narrowed her eyes at Emmett. She was well aware she was being baited but she couldn't help herself. "Fine," she said. "I'll go."

"Awesome!" Emmett cheered as he let go of her hand and followed Rose to one of the cars on the roller coaster.

"We don't have to go on it," a voice said from behind her. "I really don't mind."

Bella turned to find Edward approaching. "No, it's fine," she sighed. "Emmett bugs me to ride it every time we come here. Maybe if I go on it once, he'll leave me alone about it."

Edward gave her a dubious look but didn't say anything more as he followed her to a car and took a seat beside her. Alice had somehow managed to get out of riding the coaster and she stood to the side with Jasper, waving madly at her friends as she held onto her bag and Rose's.

Bella gave her a halfhearted wave back and began trying to silently psych herself up for the ride. The instant the harnesses came down around them, however, she knew she was making a big mistake. She swallowed thickly as the attendant went down the line making sure everyone's harnesses were fastened securely and Edward touched her arm gently.

"Do you want to get off?" he asked quietly. "It's not too late. I can start freaking out if you'd like. Then they'd have to let us off."

Bella couldn't help smiling at that and she shook her head. "No, but thanks. It's only two minutes, right? I should be able to handle two minutes."

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you," Edward said. Bella smiled back, thinking Edward was just teasing her to make her feel better, but the expression on his face was completely serious. "Ready?" he asked, taking her hand.

The ride began moving forward and Bella gripped Edward's hand tightly. "No," she replied as the cars approached the first hill.

Bella could feel her heart pounding somewhere in the vicinity of her throat as they began climbing the steep hill and she tried to force herself to calm down. Then the cars sped down the first hill and up into a loop and the whole staying calm idea went right out the window.

She clutched Edward's left arm desperately, her head buried against his chest, unable to look up. Edward's other arm came around her and stroked her hair comfortingly. "It's almost over," he murmured soothingly in her ear, miraculously making himself heard over the screams of the other riders. "Just hang on."

What seemed like an eternity later to Bella, the coaster finally slowed to a stop back at the beginning. The harnesses popped up and Edward hurriedly pushed his and Bella's off before standing and offering her his hand. She took it, staggering to her feet, and Edward helped her from the car and to the stairs.

"Are you all right?" he asked, concern evident in his green eyes.

Bella smiled shakily at Edward. "Fine," she managed. She gripped the railing tightly as she made her way down the steps but the moment her feet touched solid ground, her legs nearly gave way beneath her.

"Bella!" Edward had yet to leave her side and at the sight of her trembling legs, he quickly scooped her up into his arms. Normally, Bella would have been embarrassed and asked to be put down but her legs were shaking so much, she didn't think she could stand. Instead, she settled herself in the cradle of Edward's arms and rested her head against his shoulder.

He carried her over to a nearby bench and set her down, anxiously crouching in front of her. "Put your head between your knees and take deep breaths," he instructed. Bella did as he said and Edward began rubbing her back soothingly. A few moments later, she finally raised her head to find Alice standing next to the bench as well.

"Here, sweetie," she said, handing Bella a soda. "I thought you could use this."

"Thanks, Al," Bella said, taking the soda from her friend and taking a long drink.

"Bellsy, are you okay?" Emmett asked, as the others gathered around her.

She smiled weakly. "I'm fine. Really. Just, no more rollercoasters, okay?"

"I'm sorry," he said, his expression contrite. "I shouldn't have made you ride that thing."

"Em, it's okay," Bella said. "Really. Besides, you didn't **make** me do anything. I should have known better than to ride something called The Demon anyway."

"Well, how do you feel about some water rides?" Alice asked. "Do you think you could handle those? I reserved a cabana over in Hurricane Harbor."

Rose saw how embarrassed Bella was becoming and she stepped in. "Hell yeah to the cabana," she said. "You guys can go do what you want, I want to go lay out on some lounge chairs. You with me girls?"

Bella shot Rose a grateful smile, knowing very well that Rose was doing this for her benefit. "Sounds good to me," she said honestly. The others agreed and, after Edward had helped Bella to her feet, headed over to the Hurricane Harbor half of the park.

Edward didn't release Bella's hand until they had reached the cabana and Bella found she had enjoyed holding Edward's hand as they walked across the park a lot more than she should for someone who was just a friend. To hide her flushed cheeks, she started digging through Alice's bag for sunblock. Pulling out one of several tubes in the bag, she took off her shorts and tank top and began applying sunblock to her arms and legs.

She was struggling with reaching her back when an amused voice stopped her. "Need some help?" Edward asked. "I'll do you and then you can do me?" Bella blushed, the color traveling up from around her collarbones to cover her face in a deep red shade, and Edward flushed as he realized what he had just said. "Um, I mean, I can get your back for you. And then maybe you can get mine," he mumbled.

Bella nodded, her face still burning. "Thanks," she said, handing Edward the tube.

Edward sat down on the lounge chair behind Bella and squeezed some lotion onto his hand before beginning to gently apply it to Bella's back. Bella was wearing a deep blue, halter neck bikini and Edward had momentarily frozen when she had first pulled off the clothing she'd been wearing over it. He was glad he'd decided to sit down to apply Bella's sunblock as the combination of her bathing suit and the close proximity of her body were beginning to affect his body in embarrassing ways.

When he finished, he quickly applied sunblock to his legs, arms, and chest before handing the tube to Bella. "Lie down," she instructed. Edward was slightly confused but he obediently lay down on his chest on the chaise lounge they had been sitting on.

"It's easier to get it on evenly this way," she explained, squeezing the sunblock into her hand. Edward bit back a groan as Bella's gentle fingers began running tentatively over his back. What on earth was this girl doing to him? Her touch was sending sparks straight to his groin and he found he was incredibly grateful for his baggy board shorts.

He was both disappointed and relieved when Bella finally finished with his back and he closed his eyes, trying to get his body under control. His efforts, however, were almost immediately thwarted by his older brother.

"Come on, I wanna race. Let's go on the Wahoo!" Emmett said excitedly. "Come on, Eddie, Jazz. Get your asses up!"

Edward knew that if he stood up at that moment, everyone within visual range was going to get an eyeful of just what Bella's touch had done to him. "I'm good," he said. "I think I'm just going to lie here for awhile."

Alice shot Edward a look that had him wondering if she didn't know exactly why he was refusing to move before speaking up. "Sit down, Emmett," she said. "You're supposed to give this stuff, like, 15 minutes to soak in before you go getting it all wet. Otherwise, putting it on was totally pointless."

"Aww, man!" Emmett pouted, flopping down onto a lounge chair next to Rose, looking for all the world like a three year old who had just had his favorite toy taken away.

By the time Alice had declared 15 minutes to be up, Edward had succeeded in calming his body down and he was more than ready to go on some of the rides. After securing Alice and Rose's bags in the cabana's locker, the group left the cabana and headed over to Emmett's favorite water ride, the Wahoo Racer, where they raced each other down water slides into a pool below. They went on nearly every ride in Hurricane Harbor before finally deciding to pack up and head home late that afternoon.

As Emmett drove them back to Chicago, Edward gave himself over completely to his tangled thoughts. He and Bella were seated in the way back together and Bella had fallen asleep about five minutes into the trip home. He took advantage of the others being too involved in their own conversations to notice him and focused his attention fully on Bella as she slept, her head resting against the window.

He wasn't entirely sure what was going on with his feelings at the moment, but the events at the amusement park that day would seem to suggest that his feelings for Bella were no longer strictly of the friend variety.

He was well aware of his very obvious physical attraction and reaction to her but he also knew it was much more than that. Bella brought out emotions in him that were totally unfamiliar. He had dated a few girls during college but those had all been extremely casual relationships and none of those girls had ever evoked such powerful feelings in him. He loved spending time with her, no matter what they ended up doing, and hated the few days they had spent apart over the course of the summer.

He had thought her beautiful from the moment he first laid eyes on her, but with all of the time they had spent together, he knew very well that there was so much more to her than just a pretty face. They had had some of the most amazingly in depth conversations about favorite novels and authors and conversely, also some of the most ridiculous conversations and mock arguments about absolutely nothing. She was smart, sweet, funny, and he found that he was happiest when they were together.

As thrilled as he was to be back with his siblings and Rose once more, he was beginning to realize that the best part of moving to Chicago for him had been meeting Bella and having her become a part of his life. He sighed as he watched her sleeping peacefully across from him. Now if only he had any idea how she felt.

* * *

It was the last weekend before classes started and Bella was bored. Alice and Rose had left early that morning for a massive back to school shopping trip but Bella had begged off, telling them she wanted to have her work prepared for class. Amazingly enough, Alice had let Bella off the hook with only minor pouting. Edward had brought her a list of her assignments the day before, having written them down for her on a trip he had taken up to the school to grab a course packet, and she had spent the morning doing the readings for her first classes on Thursday.

She wandered aimlessly around the apartment for a bit, watching the rain pouring down outside for a little bit before deciding to just veg out on the loveseat while she still could. After flipping through the channels for a bit, she found one of her favorite older movies, _North by Northwest_. It was already toward the middle of the movie and Bella settled comfortably into the cushions to watch. However, half an hour later, even Cary Grant was unable to hold Bella's attention as her thoughts began to wander.

As had been happening more and more frequently the past month or so, Bella's thoughts immediately turned to Edward. She knew she was being ridiculous, but the thought of not getting to see him whenever she wanted made something ache deep inside of her. She knew they would still see each other of course, but there would be no more showing up at each other's apartment in the middle of the week or spending a lazy day reading together or watching a movie or going to the zoo on a Tuesday afternoon. They would have commitments to school and their schoolwork that would have to come first - especially in their first year.

And then there was the nagging fear that Edward would make new friends at school and stop hanging out with everyone. Bella wasn't blind – she was well aware that Edward was drop dead gorgeous. Anyone with eyes could see that. And there would be plenty of girls with wide open eyes in his classes. Smart girls, girls who were interested in the same career that Edward was. Beautiful girls who would clamor to have Edward as a study partner or more.

_You're being stupid_, she told herself. _So what if Edward meets someone? We're just friends. It's not like you could allow anything more than that to happen anyway._ She snorted at her thoughts. _Allow? Like he's interested in anything beyond friendship with you_, she told herself, rolling her eyes at her own foolishness.

Before her thoughts could travel any further down that path, the door to the apartment opened and Edward entered. "Hey," he said, her favorite crooked smile on his face.

"Hey," she responded, a broad smile involuntarily lighting up her face.

Edward walked over toward the loveseat as Bella sat up. "From the quiet, I'm guessing that my darling hyper pixie of a sister isn't here."

Bella shook her head. "She and Rose took off a few hours ago. Miraculously, I was spared the torture of another shopping trip."

"You managed to get out of the back to school shopping trip?" Edward asked in mock amazement. "I never could manage that back in high school. You'll have to tell me your secret."

Bella grimaced. "Don't laugh," she warned him. "God knows what she'll make me do in the future as payback for skipping out on this."

Edward grinned. "I think they may have wrangled Jasper and Emmett into going with them. And I _really_ don't want to know what they were promised as a reward."

"Ew." Bella wrinkled her nose but couldn't help laughing.

Edward laughed as well. "Well, as we both seem to have been abandoned by our roommates, do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

Bella grinned. "Well, if I have to be second choice to someone, I'm glad it's Alice," she teased.

"Ah, Bella, you could never be second choice for me," Edward said, the serious expression in his eyes belying the grin on his face.

Bella rolled her eyes but couldn't stop herself from smiling, Edward's words making her far happier than she should allow them to. _He doesn't mean anything by it!_ a voice in her head screamed. _He's just being nice because he's a nice guy and you're his friend. Stop reading anything into it!_

Bella shook her head slightly and refocused her attention on Edward. "So, what big plans did you have for today before I so rudely barged in on you?" he was asking her.

"Nothing too exciting, I'm afraid," Bella warned him. "In fact, if you suddenly remember you have other plans, I won't be offended."

Edward smiled and flopped down on the loveseat. "Nope. I am all yours, Bella."

Bella struggled to control her blush but she knew her face was probably bright red as she sat down next to Edward. "Well, actually," she said. "AMC is marathoning a bunch of Hitchcock movies."

Edward's smile grew and he kicked off his sneakers. "That sounds like the perfect way to spend the day," he said. "Which ones are they showing?"

Bella grinned back. "_North By Northwest_ is almost over but then they're showing _Strangers on a Train_, _Psycho _and _The Birds_."

"Awesome." Edward stretched his legs out before him, resting them on the coffee table, as Bella resettled herself next to him.

They spent the next few hours wrapped up in the twists and turns of Hitchcock, finishing off the first movie and moving on to _Strangers on a Train_. They talked little during the movie, both just enjoying the comfortable silence that was so effortless between them.

As _Psycho_ began, Edward felt Bella's head come to rest gently against his shoulder. "Tired?" he asked softly.

"Mm-mm," Bella mumbled. "I love this movie."

They lapsed back into silence as the movie continued. About 20 minutes later, they reached the iconic shower scene. "It's kind of amazing when you think about the effect this movie had on people," Edward mused. "Especially when you don't really see anything. I wonder how many people really were afraid to shower after seeing it."

Bella didn't respond. "Bella?" Edward looked down to find Bella sound asleep against his shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, he shifted their bodies so that he was lying on his back and Bella was between his body and the back of the couch, her head resting on his chest. Moving carefully, he reached up and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch, shaking it out to cover the two of them.

Edward settled himself more comfortably, slipping an arm around Bella who in turn snuggled closer to his side. "Edward," she murmured.

Edward looked down in surprise. He had been certain Bella was asleep. Looking at her face, however, he saw that her eyes were still closed, a contented smile on her lips. A soft smile crossed Edward's lips as he briefly hugged Bella to his side before brushing a gentle kiss to her forehead and closing his own eyes with a happy sigh.

When Alice and Rose returned an hour and a half later, Bella and Edward were in the same position and Alice stopped short in the doorway at the sight of her brother and her best friend curled up in each other's arms.

"Aww," she breathed, fighting the urge to squeal at the sight.

"Alice, what are – oh," Rose finished, looking over the pixie's head.

Thinking quickly, Alice pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of Bella and Edward cuddled together on the couch.

As if feeling Alice and Rose's eyes on him, Edward shifted slightly and opened his eyes. His gaze first drifted down to Bella and he smiled tenderly, reaching a hand up to gently trail his fingers through her hair. Alice cleared her throat quietly and Edward's attention turned to the two girls standing in the doorway. "Hi," he whispered, smiling sheepishly.

Alice and Rose only smiled back at him, genuinely happy for their friends. Rose took Alice by the arm and started to lead her from the apartment. Their progress was stopped almost immediately, however, by the arrival of Emmett.

"Who wants pizza?" Emmett bellowed as he charged into the room, his arms laden down with half a dozen pizza boxes.

On the couch, Bella shot up to a sitting position at the sudden noise. Her sleep addled brain noticed that _Psycho_ was ending on the TV in front of her and her friends were in the room with her. Her brain also alerted her to the fact that she was resting against something very warm.

She glanced down and saw that her hand was resting flat on Edward's chest. Blushing, she jerked her hand away. She tried to move away from Edward's body, but as she was already pressed against the back of the couch, there wasn't anywhere she could go. Looking to move to the other end of the couch, she saw that one of her legs was draped across Edward and resting between his legs. Her face somehow managing to flush even darker, Bella tried to untangle her body from Edward's but only succeeded in almost knocking both of them onto the floor.

Seeing her distress, Edward quickly rose to a sitting position, gently swinging Bella around so that she was seated normally next to him on the couch. The process had seemed to take forever to her, but Jasper was only just closing the door behind him as he entered the apartment behind everyone else and Bella realized that the whole embarrassing incident had in reality lasted only seconds.

"Think you have enough for everyone?" Edward asked Emmett, raising an eyebrow at him.

Rose saw the wicked look in Emmett's eye as he took in an overly calm Edward and a still blushing Bella and knew she'd have to move quickly. As she leaned over to grab the top pizza box, Rose let her lips brush over Emmett's ear. "Say one word to embarrass Bella and Edward right now and you're not getting any for a month."

Rose pulled back and smiled sweetly at him before carrying the pizza she held into the kitchen. Emmett pouted at Rose but didn't say a word. Rose could be very protective when it came to Bella and Emmett wasn't willing to risk Rose making good on her threat.

Edward glanced at Bella, trying to catch her eye, but she had her head down, her hair obscuring her face. Internally, he cursed his boisterous brother for ruining the moment as the others joined them in the living room carrying plates, napkins, drinks and pizza boxes.

"Thanks for picking up dinner, guys," he said as Rose handed him a plate with two slices of pizza on it.

"We picked up _Watchmen_, too," Jasper said.

"Emmett?" Edward guessed.

"Actually, it was Alice's choice."

Bella finally raised her head and she and Edward looked at Alice in surprise. Alice shrugged. "Jazz said it was the same guy who did _300_ and I liked that, so I figured it was worth a shot. Plus, I know that the rest of you wanted to see it."

Bella hid a smile. She seemed to remember that Alice had liked _300_ mostly because of a shirtless Gerard Butler but decided to keep that thought to herself. She accepted the two slices of pizza Jasper handed her and grabbed a soda, moving down to the floor to eat. Edward did the same, sliding down to sit next to her, and Bella couldn't help glancing over at him. "Sorry," she mumbled, her cheeks flushing again.

Edward smiled. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Good company, good movies, and a nice nap. This was a perfect rainy day."

Bella smiled back, her color going back to normal. "It was, wasn't it?" Her embarrassment assuaged, she turned her attention to her food, only now realizing just how hungry she was.

Alice started the movie as they continued to eat and soon they were all wrapped up in the story of the masked superheroes. Even Alice, despite a total lack of shirtless Scottish men, seemed to like it.

As much as she was enjoying the movie, however, Bella found her thoughts beginning to drift once more, this time to the nap that Emmett had interrupted. It had been the best sleep she'd had in ages and even though she had been asleep, she had been aware of a sense of comfort and safety as she slept. Edward hadn't really seemed to mind that she had been draped across him but then again, he might just be trying to spare her any further embarrassment.

Her mind then returned to her thoughts of the separation from Edward classes would bring in less than a week and her fear of losing her close connection to him when he met people far more worthy of his time and attention and her mood dampened considerably. She sighed internally as she stole a glance at Edward. As much as she had been looking forward to finally starting taking the classes she would need to become a Social Worker, she suddenly found herself wishing that the school year would never start.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. I really appreciate it, more than I can adequately express. I apologize for the length of time between updates. I took the BAR exam during the last week of July and my time was really tied up in studying for that and then actually taking the two day exam. Hopefully, this rather long chapter helps make up for the wait. Songs and outfits are on my profile.

**Special Notes**: For my sis. This wouldn't even be up if it wasn't for her, so if you like it, you should thank her, too! And if it sucks, well, that's my fault (some parts just did not want to be written!). She kept me focused, provided me with the girls' outfits for this chapter (as well as the song Bella listens to in the car which is just so fantastically up and bouncy), and inspired me with her own fantastic fics (check her out under Blue-Winter-Angel!). Thanks, Lisey, you're the best!

* * *

Chapter 5

"I don't know why I have to wear this stupid thong, anyway," Bella grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

It was the Saturday following Bella's birthday and the girls had gathered in Bella's room to prepare for a night out. In what Bella decided was probably payback for not letting her friends hold a birthday party for her, Alice had chosen a popular nearby club for their evening out and had spent the last hour, with the help of Rosalie, getting herself and Bella ready.

"We're all wearing our sets, Bella," Alice reminded her. "You promised."

Bella groaned to herself and tried not to roll her eyes. Though she had forbidden her friends from buying her birthday presents, Alice still liked to buy what she called "roommate gifts" or "just because I love you gifts." She would buy the same thing for all three of them and any time Bella would try to protest, she would be met with Alice's most pitiful puppy dog pout, rendering her powerless to do much more than grumble thank you and accept the gift. This time, the roommate gift was matching lacy bra and panty sets – red for Rose, purple for Alice, and deep blue for Bella.

"Yeah, well at least someone's going to see yours," Bella muttered under her breath. Looking up, she saw her friends staring at her and realized her comment had been a little louder than she'd meant it to be.

"Bella, when was the last time you even hooked up with a guy?" Rose asked bluntly.

"What?" Bella blushed. "Um, I, uh, I don't remember," she mumbled.

"I do," the blonde responded. "Junior year of undergrad, Jon Webster."

Bella bit back a groan. Drunk, horny and separated from her friends at some stupid party had been a bad combination for Bella. Even worse, Jon had seemed to think that their five minute drunken makeout session had been the beginning of a beautiful relationship and had called and emailed Bella for a week straight after that night. It had taken a visit from Emmett for Jon to finally get the picture and back off.

"I don't get you, Bella," Rose continued. "You're this amazing, gorgeous, brilliant, sweet person and you're just not interested in dating anyone."

"Rose, it's not-"

Bella began to protest but Rose continued talking over her. "I mean, okay, I get the never having sex thing. No sense in having it just to have it, I guess. But at the same time, there are things you could do to take care of that issue all by yourself but you won't even do that."

"Rose!" Bella thought her whole body might just go up in flames. "The guys are right in the living room. They really don't need to know this!"

Rose waved a dismissive hand. "Like they don't do it themselves? Please. They do it all the time, in the shower, in their beds, wherever and whenever they get a chance. They're not exactly in a position to judge."

Unbidden, a mental image of Edward crossed Bella's mind. A very naked, very wet, pleasuring himself in the shower image. Bella almost groaned out loud and she swore her temperature must have shot up at least 20 degrees. Where on earth had that come from? Mercifully, Alice stepped in and put a stop to the conversation.

"Rose, if you don't stop making her blush like that, I'm never going to be able to do her makeup right," the pixie warned.

Rose rolled her eyes and turned her attention to putting the finishing touches on Bella's hair. Eventually, Bella's torture was finished and Alice pulled the towel from around her shoulders. "You look fantastic, Bella," she squealed. "That dress is perfect, if I do say so myself."

The matching underwear sets had not been the only roommate gift this time around. No, Alice had also decided that all three of them would need new outfits for their night out and had taken it upon herself to pick up a new dress for each of them earlier that day.

Bella actually quite liked her dress for the most part. It had alternating bands of silver, capped sleeves and a scooped neck, and was tight enough to show off her curves without being uncomfortable. The length, however, was a lot shorter than what Bella was used to wearing and she kept tugging at the bottom of the dress, trying in vain to make it longer.

Alice herself was in a deep purple strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline. Heeled black gladiator sandals with laces that wrapped around her calves completed the outfit.

Rose's dress was red with a plunging neckline and back, but it was her shoes that really made Bella stare. They seemed to have both a platform front and a heel that must have been at least six inches high. Bella knew without a doubt that five seconds in those shoes would be all it would take for her to break her neck, and yet Rose wore them effortlessly.

"And now for the finishing touch," Alice said, walking over to Bella's bed and opening a shoebox that Bella had not noticed earlier. The pixie pulled out a pair of heeled silver sandals and walked back to Bella's side.

"Alice Brandon Cullen, those shoes have to be over three inches," Bella said in alarm, quickly rising from her chair. Inwardly, she was secretly pleased as she and Alice had a "three inches or fewer" agreement for any shoes Alice tried to put her in. Now maybe she could get away with some nice black flats, she thought hopefully.

Alice smiled smugly. "Three exactly. Sit." Knowing arguing would be futile, Bella sat back down and Alice put the heels on Bella's feet, pulling the straps tight before she buckled the sandals. "There. Now not even you could fall out of these, Bella."

Bella grimaced. "Maybe not fall _out of_, but I can probably still fall _off_ of them."

Rose pulled her to her feet. "Never mind that, you look _hot_, Bella," she told her friend as she dragged her toward the full-length antique mirror that Alice had brought in from her own room.

Bella quickly glanced in the mirror. "Okay, let's go."

"No, Bella," Rose said, catching her arm. "Actually look at yourself."

Sighing in defeat, Bella turned back to face the mirror. Her eyes widened slightly at the image she saw before her. Rose had loosely curled her hair so that it now hung in soft waves down her back. The dress really did look as good as Alice had seemed to think it would and the light makeup on her face had been flawlessly applied by the pixie, accentuating her deep brown eyes. "Wow," she said softly. "You guys really outdid yourselves this time." She looked up to see Rose and Alice smiling at her before they exited the room to join the guys in the living room.

Emmett came to stand next to Rose as she and Alice entered the room. "You look amazing, baby," he said, kissing her gently.

"Thank you." Rose smiled before turning back to Bella's door. "Come on, Bells," she said. "We need to get going."

Reluctantly, Bella carefully walked out of her room to join her whistled. "Damn, Bells, look at you."

Jasper nodded approvingly. "You look good, Bella."

Bella blushed, pointing an accusing finger at Rose and Alice. "It's their fault. Your girlfriends are a menace."

"Looks like I'll be spending most of the night keeping all the guys away from you," Emmett said with a grin.

"I think Edward can handle that," Rose said lightly, taking Emmett's arm and leading him toward the door.

Bella blushed at Rose's words but Edward was having a hard time remembering anyone else was in the room as he gazed at Bella. Her dress hugged her curves, accentuating her tiny waist and showing off the curve of her hips and the gentle swell of her breasts nicely. The length of the dress combined with the heels that he knew were Alice's doing made Bella's legs look amazingly long and even though he knew he was staring, Edward couldn't tear his gaze from the beautiful girl in front of him.

Jasper coughed discreetly from the door where he stood with Alice and Edward came back to himself. "You're gorgeous, Bella," he said, the familiar crooked smile on his face.

Bella blushed again. "Rose and Alice like to turn me into their own personal life sized Barbie doll sometimes. This is all their doing."

Edward shook his head. "I very much doubt that," he told her sincerely.

Flustered, Bella smiled at him before moving to join the others at the door. "Bella," Edward began, putting his hand on her arm to stop her.

Sparks shot through Bella at his touch and she swallowed hard as she turned back to him.

"We'll see you down there," Alice said with a grin, herding the others out of the apartment.

Edward waited until the door had closed behind their friends before speaking again. "I, um, I wanted to give you something," he said shyly. "I know you said no gifts," he said, anticipating her words as she opened her mouth. "But I saw it and it just seemed like it belonged to you."

He picked up a silver bag from the coffee table and handed it to her. Bella blushed as she took the bag from him, reaching hesitantly into the bag. She smiled when she pulled out a copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray. When she opened the cover, however, she gasped. "This is a first edition! Edward, it's wonderful," she breathed, running her hands reverently over the binding. "But I, you didn't have to."

Edward shrugged. "It was either that or _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_," he replied with a grin. "Which was actually _really_ entertaining. I was thinking of getting it for Emmett. It'd be one way to get him to read the classics."

Bella smiled. "I actually really kind of want to read that."

"Well, now I know what to get you for Christmas. Happy Birthday, Bella," he said with a smile, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

When Edward pulled back, he and Bella stared at each other silently. Neither seemed able to move or stop staring and they stood that way a few moments until Bella finally broke the silence. "Um, we should probably get going," she began.

"Yeah, I'm sure the others are wondering where we are," Edward said.

"They're probably waiting for us," Bella said, their voices overlapping as they both nervously spoke over each other.

They both went silent at the same time and Bella spoke up again. "I'm just going to go put this in my room and we can go."

Edward smiled. "I'll be here."

Bella returned to her bedroom, gently setting the book on her night table. She really hadn't wanted any presents, but she couldn't deny the thrill of excitement she felt as she gently ran her fingers over the cover. Taking one last look at the book, Bella turned off her light and walked back into the living room.

"Ready?" Edward asked.

Bella nodded, trying her best not to let her gaze linger too long on Edward. He wore dark wash jeans and a black button down shirt over a white t-shirt and she found herself unconsciously admiring the way the jeans hung low on his hips and the fact that his rolled up sleeves showed off his muscular forearms perfectly. She blushed, feeling the heat flood her whole body, and to cover her embarrassment, she quickly hurried out of the apartment with Edward right behind her. Bella's keys and ID were in Alice's purse so Edward locked up behind them and they made their way to the staircase at the end of the hallway.

Bella groaned internally as she looked at the stairs before her. This was definitely one of the downsides of living on the third floor of a three-story walk-up. Edward saw the look on Bella's face as she eyed the stairs. "May I?" he asked, offering his arm.

Bella smiled, her cheeks tinted a faint pink. "Me in these shoes plus those stairs is not a good combination," she admitted, taking Edward's arm.

"I promise I won't let you fall," he told her, tucking her arm tightly under his.

"I know you won't," Bella replied softly. The words slipped past her lips before she could stop them and the color in her cheeks deepened as her gaze shifted to the floor.

Edward smiled. "Ready?" he asked. Bella nodded, continuing to watch her feet as they descended the stairs.

When they reached their waiting friends, Edward helped Bella into the jeep. "Nice of you to finally join us," Emmett cracked.

Bella stuck her tongue out at Emmett as she took her seat. "Once again, you can blame Alice and Rose," she retorted. "They're the ones who put me in these ridiculous, life threatening shoes."

Edward climbed in next to Bella and they headed off. Emmett parked the jeep close to the club and they walked the short distance to the building's entrance. There was a long line at the front door, but Rose walked over to the bouncer and after a few words, he waved them all in ahead of the rest of the people in line.

"Wow, how'd you swing that one, Rose?" Edward asked as they entered the club.

Rose smiled. "The bouncer brought his car to the garage over the summer and I fixed something in it no one else had been able to figure out." She shrugged. "He was grateful."

Alice saw a free table across the room and darted off to grab it before anyone else could claim it. The others followed after her, Bella and Edward bringing up the rear.

Edward noticed their group was attracting quite a bit of male and female attention as they made their way to their table and he glared at the guys staring at his Bella. His Bella? Well, a man could dream, couldn't he? he thought to himself, sliding a possessive arm around her shoulders as they continued to their table.

When they reached the table, Edward stood to the side, his hand on Bella's lower back as they waited for the others to sit down in the booth Alice had claimed. When the rest were seated, Bella slid in next to Rose and Edward sat down on her other side.

Bella glanced around the club as she settled herself into her seat but her attention was quickly pulled back to the table by the arrival of their waitress.

"And what can I get you guys?"

Alice was looking at their waitress a severe case of bitchface and Bella glanced at the girl standing next to their table to see what had Alice so upset, figuring the girl must be paying a little too much attention to Jasper. But as Bella turned to the waitress, she realized that it was not Jasper the girl was staring at but Edward. Bella fought down a hot flush of irritation at the realization, telling herself she was being ridiculous. Edward was her friend and he could do whatever he wanted, whatever made him happy. And if that meant picking up some trashy, overly made up waitress, then fine, she wasn't going to say a word.

She glanced at Edward to see if he was encouraging the attention and almost jumped when she saw that he was staring at her. "Oh, sorry, is it my turn to order?" Bella asked.

Edward just smiled at her with her favorite crooked grin. "No, I think Emmett's already taken care of that for the whole table."

Bella groaned. "Emmett-"

"Relax, Bells," Emmett said, grinning broadly. "Time to let loose and have some fun tonight!"

Before Bella could argue, Jessica (Jennifer? Jessalyn? Bella hadn't really been paying all that much attention as the girl had only been introducing herself to the guys at the table anyway) returned with a tray containing two pitchers, a single beer bottle, five pint glasses, and five shots. She set the shot glasses and pitcher in front of Emmett, placing the empty glasses in the middle of the table. She then very carefully set the single bottle of Murphy's Red in front of Edward, making sure to lean over far enough to give him a good view of her cleavage. "Can I get you anything else?" she practically purred at him.

"No, we're fine, thank you," Alice said firmly, her glare telling the other girl in no uncertain terms that it was in her best interest to get lost immediately.

"Okay, well if you need anything, you just let me know," she said, shooting a sugary smile at Edward.

Edward was still oblivious to the girl and was instead, Bella noticed to her embarrassment, looking at her once more. _Oh God, I bet I have something on my face. I've probably already smudged my makeup. I'm probably sitting here next to him looking like a giant raccoon._

"Bye," Alice said pointedly. Their waitress left and Emmett picked up the shot glasses, passing them around while Bella nudged Rose's foot under the table. When Rose looked up, Bella made a subtle gesture toward her eyes in a code the girls had created during the undergrad days. Rose gave a minute shake of her head as she accepted her drink from Emmett. _What was he looking at?_ Bella puzzled. Rose would have let her know if it was her hair, makeup, or clothing. Maybe she had forgotten deodorant?

Her thoughts were cut off by Emmett's enthusiastic cry of, "Whoo hoo! Time for shots!"

"Not for me, Emmett, thanks," Bella said, grimacing slightly at the glass in front of her.

"Bel-la," Alice whined.

"Alice, somebody has to drive," Bella reminded the pixie.

"That's why God invented cabs," Alice shot back.

Edward shook his head. "Don't worry, Bella. I've already called designated driver." He raised his beer in a salute. "This is it for me tonight. Speaking of which." He turned his attention to Emmett and held his hand out across the table. "Keys, please."

Emmett dug his keys out of his pocket and handed them to his younger brother while Alice smiled triumphantly and passed a shot glass to Bella. Rose grabbed the other and the three girls clinked their glasses together. "Bottoms up, bitches," Rose said with a wicked grin, knocking back her shot in one quick gulp.

Bella figured it was best to get it over with as quickly as possible and she took a deep breath before downing her own shot.

After another shot and two glasses of beer, Rose and Alice dragged Bella out to the dance floor for some "girls only" dancing.

Emmett turned to Jasper with a big grin on his face. "Bets on the bruise count?" he asked. "We all know how graceful our Bellsy usually is," Emmett explained in response to the puzzled look on his younger brother's face. "Add alcohol to that and her risk of injury is multiplied. She always ends up with at least a couple of bruises the following day and she has no idea where she got them."

"And you take bets on this?" Edward asked, bristling in irritation. He saw nothing funny whatsoever about Bella injuring herself.

"Hey, she started it," Emmett said defensively. "She thinks it's funny."

Jasper jumped in before Emmett could further unknowingly antagonize his brother. "How are classes?" he asked. Classes had started up a month earlier and with their various crazy schedules, the roommates had not spent as much time together recently as they normally did.

Edward took a drink of his beer, telling himself to calm down. "Pretty good so far," he replied. "I have some pretty decent professors, which is always a relief."

"Any hot vet chicks in your classes?" Emmett asked.

Edward shrugged. "Haven't noticed," he said honestly.

"And why would that be?" Emmett asked with a wicked grin.

"Because they throw a lot of shit at you right away," Edward responded testily. "I don't need to fall behind because I'm too busy checking out the girls to pay attention."

Jasper rolled his eyes internally. So it was going to be that kind of night, was it? Ever since they were kids, Emmett had always been able to get a rise out of Edward with minimal effort. It looked like some things never changed. _Of course, if he'd just admit his feelings for Bella already and do something about it, he'd probably be in a much better mood_, Jasper thought mildly, glancing over at Edward.

With a small sigh, Jasper changed the subject once again, this time to Carlisle and Esme, and the boys were still talking about their family when the girls returned to the table.

"Jasper, you want another?" Emmett asked as he filled his own glass.

"One for me, too," Rose said as she took her seat.

"Where's Bella?" Alice asked, still standing by the edge of the table as she scanned the club.

"She was with you, wasn't she?" Edward asked.

Alice shrugged. "Yeah, but she left a few songs ago to go to the bathroom."

"Maybe she fell off her shoes," Emmett cracked as he finished filling the glasses.

Edward's lips compressed into a thin line of annoyance but Alice spoke before he could say anything in response. "I'm gonna go see if I can find her. If she did fall down-" Here, she paused to give Emmett an evil look "-she might need help."

"I'll go with you," Edward said, quickly rising to his feet. Without another word, the siblings headed toward the area in the back of the bar that housed the men's and women's bathrooms. Edward opened the door that separated the area from the rest of the club, nearly letting it close on Alice in his haste to find Bella.

Making a sound of exasperation, Alice caught the door and followed behind her brother, nearly running right into his back as he stopped suddenly. She looked around him and saw what had given him pause. At the opposite end of the hall, Bella was standing against the wall with a tall, extremely muscular guy leaning over her. Her face was mostly obscured by the position of the guy and Alice was about to suggest that she head over to Bella alone to feel the situation out. No sense in pulling Bella away if she was actually interested in the guy, she told herself.

But then he leaned even in even closer, resting his hand on the wall next to Bella's head, and the two siblings could finally see her face clearly. Her expression was a cross between revulsion and fear and Alice swore she heard Edward growl next to her.

"Stay here," Edward ordered in a low voice. For once, Alice didn't question her brother's instructions and stayed where she was as Edward made his way toward Bella.

As he approached, Bella's harasser reached a hand toward her face and Bella shrank back against the wall. Edward saw red.

"I _know_ you're not bothering my girlfriend." Bella almost laughed in relief at the sight of Edward. His jaw was clenched, his beautiful green eyes stormy. Bella had never seen him look so dangerous. "Hi, baby," he said sweetly to her. Despite the situation she currently found herself in, Edward's tone of voice and the endearment made Bella's knees go weak as she smiled back at him.

The guy barely looked over his shoulder at Edward. "Yours, huh?" he said with a leer. "You sure you don't feel like sharing?"

"Excuse me?" Edward said, his voice low and menacing as he stepped closer.

"Hey, I wouldn't want to share her but some people go for that. And I know I'd like a piece. I mean, look at her," the guy finished as he turned back to Edward.

"You want to shut up," Edward snarled. "Right now."

The look of intense fury on Edward's face seemed to be enough to convince the stranger of this and he took a quick step back. "Hey, man, sorry," he mumbled. "I, uh, I was just kidding. I didn't know she was with someone."

"Now you do," Edward said icily as he wrapped his arm around Bella's waist. "So fuck off." Without another word, the guy took off up the hallway, brushing past Alice without so much as a look.

Edward looked at Bella, the murderous expression instantly disappearing from his face. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Bella looked up at Edward, extremely conscious of his arm still wrapped around her. "I, yeah, thank you," she said, a deep blush rising to her cheeks. "He kind of cornered me when I came out of the bathroom and I guess everyone who went past thought we knew each other or something."

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Bella shook her head. "He was just really-" she cut herself off with an involuntary shudder. "Thank you," she said again.

Edward pulled her into his arms, holding her close for a moment as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. A group of girls entered the hallway, talking and laughing loudly as they made their way into the bathroom, and the moment was lost. Edward reluctantly stepped back from Bella, his hands resting on her hips. "Do you want to get back to the table?" Bella nodded and they left the quiet of the hallway, entering the noisy club once more.

Edward kept his arm around her waist as they made their way back to their friends and Bella found herself enjoying the feel of Edward's arm around her and the warmth of his body. Her mind kept replaying Edward coming to her rescue and she smiled dreamily to herself as she remembered him calling her "baby."

_Friend_, her mind said sternly. _He is your friend and that is all he can ever be to you._ Bella felt as if a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her and her good mood began slipping away as reality came crashing in. _Birthday or not, that is way too much to wish for_,_ so just stop it now,_ she told herself as they approached their friends.

Alice had already returned to the table and was talking softly with Jasper when Bella and Edward joined the group.

"What took you guys so long?" Emmett waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Or do I not want to know?"

Edward was not amused. "Some prick was hassling Bella," he said grimly as he slid into the booth next to her.

"Edward," Bella protested softly.

"What?" Emmett nearly upset the table as he leapt to his feet, his expression furious.

"Relax," Edward told him, seeing the pleading look on Bella's face. "He's gone and Bella's fine."

"Are you okay, Bells?" Emmett asked as he took his seat once more.

Emmett's expression was concerned and Bella forced a smile for his benefit. "It's fine, Em, really," she said. "This guy was using a bunch of lame pickup lines and trying to get my number but Edward got rid of him.

After scanning Bella to make sure she really was okay, Rose spoke up. "Ready for another shot?" she asked, seeing that Emmett wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop and that Bella was getting uncomfortable. Bella quickly agreed and Rose flagged down their waitress, ordering another round of shots for the girls.

Bella had initially planned on being careful about how much she drank, knowing that both her filter and her inhibitions seemed to disappear the more she had to drink. However, Rose and Alice kept ordering shots and Emmett kept refilling her beer glass and before she knew it, Bella couldn't remember why she hadn't wanted to drink too much in the first place. The group talked and laughed as they continued to drink and the topic of Bella's harasser was not raised again. Two glasses of beer and three shots later, Rose, Alice, and Bella headed back to the dance floor.

Emmett turned to Edward the moment the girls were out of earshot. "Okay, exactly what the hell happened back there? I know Bella hates when people make a big deal over her and everything but do I need to go kill someone?" His tone was light but the concerned look in his eyes clearly showed that he was not fooling around.

Edward's eyes darkened angrily. "You'd have to get in line," he told his older brother. "He was beyond being in her personal space and she was practically pinned against the wall."

Emmett growled and Jasper calmly intervened. "But you got rid of him and Bella's all right, right?"

"Yeah," Edward said reluctantly. "I basically told him to get the fuck away from my girlfriend." He sighed. "I still would have liked to kick his ass, though."

Jasper and Emmett exchanged a look at Edward's uncharacteristic display of temper. Emmett drained the remaining beer in his glass before turning his full attention back to his brother. "Just be careful, Edward," he said, his voice suddenly serious.

"What, don't get thrown out because I kick some shithead's ass?"

Emmett shook his head. "Be careful with Bella," he said. "She's been through some shit and she's like a little sister to all of us. Just be careful," he repeated.

Before Edward could press his older brother on the topic, Emmett's gaze shifted to the dance floor. "And now I think it's time to get out to the dance floor before another ass kicking is in order," he advised Edward and Jasper.

Edward followed Emmett's gaze and he saw Rosalie first, Alice dancing right beside her. Several guys were eyeing the two and starting to move toward them and Edward knew exactly what Emmett had meant about ass kickings just from the lecherous expressions on their faces. Then Rosalie and Alice parted and Edward's jaw dropped at the sight before him. There, between the two girls, was Bella. Edward was stunned. Where was his adorably clumsy Bella? This Bella moved gracefully on the dance floor, shimmying and grinding right along with Rose and Alice.

Jasper and Emmett exchanged an amused look at the expression on Edward's face. "Come on, Eddie," Emmett said, reaching over and pulling Edward to his feet as Muse's "Supermassive Black Hole" began playing over the speakers. "Let's go join 'em."

They joined the girls on the dance floor and with a grin, Bella untangled herself from the other girls and turned to Edward.

"Edward! Dance with me!"

_"Always thought I was a fool for no one  
But ooh baby I'm a fool for you"_

Edward could only nod, his mouth dropping open slightly as Bella turned and pressed her back against his chest. She reached behind her and grabbed Edward's hands, placing them on her hips before raising her arms above her head. Edward would have been perfectly content to just stand there holding Bella to him all night but Bella apparently had other plans as she began swaying her hips to the beat.

The song hit the guitar solo and with a sudden jerk of her body, Bella began rolling her hips in a circle against Edward's lower body. Edward bit back a groan, his body instantly reacting to the feel of Bella grinding against him. She then brought her hands down and laid them on top of Edward's, her hands guiding his up and down her sides in a sensual motion.

_Rose and Emmett having sex. Alice and Jasper having sex. His parents having sex,_ he thought, desperately tryingto counter the effect of Bella's ass rubbing against his groin. She brought his hands to the sides of her breasts and Edward couldn't stop a low moan from passing his lips.

Bella slid Edward's hands back down to her hips and dropped her head back so that it rested on Edward's shoulder. Edward didn't miss the wicked smile on Bella's lips and he had to fight back another moan. She knew exactly what she was doing to him.

Finally, the song ended and Edward prayed that this meant his sweet torture would now be over. But Bella had other ideas as Cassie Davis's "Differently" blared from the speakers. "I love this song!" she squealed, turning around to face Edward. The Bella Edward knew and loved chose that moment to make an appearance, however, and Bella stumbled into Edward's arms as she seemingly tripped over air.

"Maybe it's time to go home," he suggested, trying to keep his expression neutral.

Bella giggled. "Probably a good idea," she agreed. "Thanks for keeping me from falling off my shoes."

Edward smiled. "Anytime." He took her hand and led her over to where Alice and Jasper were dancing, their bodies pressed flush against each other. Edward knew it might be selfish but he was extremely relieved that Bella was ready to leave. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to control himself with Bella grinding against him.

"We're gonna head back," Edward told Alice when they reached the couple's side.

Alice nodded. "Okay. We'll just get a cab back to mine."

Edward smiled. "Thanks, Al. We'll see you guys later." After waving at Emmett and Rose, Edward guided Bella from the club, his arm wrapped firmly around her waist. When they exited the club, Bella stopped for a moment, closing her eyes and tilting her head back, her lips slightly parted, reveling in the cool fresh air after the heated atmosphere of the club.

Edward watched her as she stood, the same rush of tenderness he had felt when he had watched her during the fireworks flooding his body. Bella's run in with the random guy at the club had shaken Edward a lot more than he had let on to anyone and he was relieved he and Alice had gotten there before things had gotten unpleasant. He couldn't help worrying, however, what could have happened if they hadn't gotten to Bella before something had happened.

She was so innocent, so fragile. He knew from both experience and stories the others had told him that Bella was quite capable of taking care of herself. Yet, there was some primal instinct that she awakened in him that made him want to just pull her into his arms and protect her from all of the evil and ugliness in the world.

_She's not yours to protect_, he reminded himself flatly. Regardless of the way they might have danced together, Edward still had no idea what Bella's feelings were toward him. _His_ feelings, on the other hand, seemed to be growing and changing daily.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Bella brought her head back down, stumbling as she opened her eyes. Edward caught her with his free arm and steadied her. "All right?" he asked.

Bella grinned. "Just a little off balance," she told him cheerfully. "Probably shouldn't have closed my eyes when I've been drinking." Edward couldn't help smiling back, shaking his head in amusement as they continued their walk to the jeep.

Edward helped Bella into the jeep, buckling her seatbelt around her before he closed the door and climbed into the driver's seat. The radio came on as he started the car and Bella gasped delightedly. "Oooh, this is such a good song!" she cried, leaning over and turning up the volume, the familiar song blaring from the speakers.

_You know I'll make it right, I'm at your command__  
You can tell me anything you want, you know I'm gonna understand  
I won't let you down diggy down ddown ddown, never let you down diggy down_

_Hey Oh, do you like it like that  
__I'm the only one who can love you like that now  
__Hey Oh, do you like it like that  
I'm the only one who can love you like that_

_Hey....._

_So should I shut my mouth, and should I hide my heart_

Edward smiled to himself as he watched Bella singing and bouncing along to the song in her seat. Drunken Bella definitely gave Alice a run for her money in the energy department, he decided in amusement.

"I'm really glad you moved here, Edward," Bella said, the song suddenly forgotten.

"I am, too, Bella," Edward admitted honestly, a little startled by the abrupt subject change.

"I had my family of Alice and Rose and Emmett and Jasper and now you're here, too. And it feels like you've always been here, like I've always known you. I'm so lucky to have all of you in my life. I don't know what I possibly did to deserve you but I don't know what I would do without you guys. I love all of you so much. I'm so lucky," she repeated.

Edward couldn't help smiling as Bella continued babbling on. He had never heard her like this and he found her adorable as she sat in the passenger seat, her eyes shining as she talked about any and everything that came to mind.

Bella was still talking, now about when she and Alice had first met, when Edward pulled up in front of the girls' apartment building. He turned off the engine and Bella cut herself off in the middle of a sentence. "Oh, we're home," she said in surprise. She started to fumble with her seatbelt as Edward got out of the jeep and came over to open her door for her. She finally got her belt released and took Edward's hand as he helped her down from the jeep.

She didn't let go of his hand as he locked the jeep and they walked into the lobby of her apartment building. When they came to the first staircase, however, Bella stopped short, glaring at the stairs before her. There was no way in hell she was going to make it up those stairs in these shoes while she was this drunk.

"You all right there?" Edward asked teasingly.

"Have you seen these shoes? How am I supposed to get up three flights of stairs in these?"

Edward was unable to stop himself from smiling. Between the adorable pout on her face and her aggravated tone of voice, she reminded him of a very pissed off kitten. He thought for a moment then dropped Bella's hand and turned his back to her. "Want a ride?"

Bella laughed. "Sure." Edward gave her a boost onto his back, locking his arms around her legs while she wrapped her arms around his neck. They reached the second floor landing without incident, though Edward had to bite back a happy sigh when Bella started running her fingers through his hair.

They had just reached Bella's floor when she leaned forward on Edward's back. "You have the softest hair," she told him. His knees nearly buckled at the feeling of Bella's lips by his ear and he stopped in his tracks, pretending to be fumbling for his keys for a moment. Bella giggled, once again knowing the effect she was having on him. "Thank you for saving me from that jerk," she added.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Edward said honestly as he unlocked the door to her apartment.

"Much better than okay," she said softly.

"Well, um, good," Edward said, flustered once again as they entered the apartment. He carried Bella into her bedroom, hitting the light on the way in. He turned his back to her bed and Bella unwrapped her arms and legs from around him, falling the short distance to her mattress. Edward turned around to see Bella sitting on her bed staring back at him. Her dress had risen up a few more inches and Edward's gaze traveled up her legs to the bottom of her dress before he forced himself to take a few steps back from her bed.

"Bella, I'm going to go get you a glass of water and some aspirin," Edward said. "You might want to change before you fall asleep. I don't think that dress would be very comfortable to sleep in."

Bella looked up at Edward from under lowered lashes. "Help me?" she asked. Edward's eyes widened as Bella rose from the bed and stood with her back to him. "I don't think I can reach the zipper," she told him over her shoulder, her voice low.

Taking a deep breath, Edward slowly began pulling down the zipper on the back of Bella's dress. His fingers brushed against her bare skin and he felt her body shiver. Swallowing hard, he quickly finished unzipping the dress and took a step back. "Um, I'm just gonna go get that water now," he mumbled, trying desperately to pull his eyes from the dark blue scrap of lace across Bella's back. Fighting for control, he turned and hurried from the room without waiting for a response.

_Calm down!_ he told himself as he struggled against the now familiar tightening he felt in his pants. He took a glass from one of the kitchen cabinets and filled it as he continued his inner monologue. _She's drunk, she doesn't know what's she's doing or saying right now. She is your friend and you are __**not**__ going to let her do something she may regret tomorrow_. _You are going to do what you can to take care of the hangover she's probably going to have tomorrow and put her to bed._ Nodding resolutely to himself, he took the bottle of aspirin from the shelf over the sink and headed back to Bella's room, glass of water in hand.

When he entered the room, he found Bella sitting on her bed. She had changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top and was now struggling with the heels that were still strapped to her feet.

"I can't get these stupid shoes off," Bella muttered. "God, why the hell did Alice have to put me in these? I probably would have killed myself if you hadn't been here to help me."

Edward thought the heels had done an excellent job in showcasing Bella's long legs, but he kept that thought to himself as he set the glass and aspirin on her night table and knelt down before her. "Here, let me," he said, reaching forward and taking one foot in his hand. He carefully removed her shoes and set them off to the side of her night table where she would be less likely to trip over them in the morning.

He then shook three tablets from the bottle of aspirin and handed the aspirin and glass of water to Bella. She swallowed the pills and then set the glass on her night table as Edward pulled the covers back. She laid down and Edward pulled the covers around her, closing her eyes but opening them wide a second later.

"My book!" she cried, panicked. "The book you gave me! It's going to get wet, I need to move it!"

Edward picked the book up from her night table and brought it over to her dresser. "It's safe," he promised her, returning to her side.

Bella sighed in relief. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. You should get some rest."

Bella nodded and was silent a moment before speaking again. "Edward? I really liked having you as my boyfriend. Even if it was just pretend." She smiled up at him innocently for a moment before her eyes closed and she quickly drifted off into an alcohol induced slumber.

Edward's heart jumped in his chest at her words and he couldn't stop the smile that crossed his face. "I really liked it, too, Bella," he said softly. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Sweet dreams, love," he murmured.

* * *

Bella groaned as she opened her eyes. Her eyes felt like sandpaper and her head was pulsing with a dull ache. She sat up slowly and was relieved when her head didn't spin at the movement. _At least I'm not still drunk_, she thought to herself. Someone had left a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on her night table and she gratefully swallowed three tablets, finishing off the entire glass of water in one go.

Looking at the dirt that somehow mysteriously always managed to accumulate under her fingernails after a night of heavy drinking, she decided a shower was definitely in order. Gathering up some clothes, Bella trudged into her attached bathroom, dropping everything on the counter and turning the water on.

The water quickly heated up and she stepped into the shower, sighing deeply as the warm water cascaded over her. She had had a number of strange dreams the night before – something that was not unusual when she had had too much to drink. But these dreams had seemed so real, she reflected as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair. And each dream had also featured Edward. Edward dancing with her while she ground against him, his evident arousal pressed into her lower back. Edward carrying her up the stairs, helping her undress, tucking her into bed.

She shook her head at herself even as she felt her body stir at these thoughts. _No,_ she told herself sharply. _Friend, remember? You are not going to let your feelings get the best of you and screw this up_. _You shouldn't even be letting yourself __**think**__ these things._ Edward was the best friend she had ever had. She only hoped she hadn't ruined that friendship with her behavior the night before.

She climbed out of the shower, quickly drying off and pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants as she thought back to the night before. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, she quickly realized that there was a large portion of the previous night that she simply could not remember. She definitely needed to find Alice or Rose quickly and find out just what had happened last night. Saying a quick prayer she hadn't done anything too humiliating, she walked out of her bedroom and into the kitchen.

Alice was standing at the counter, drinking a glass of orange juice. "Morning, Bella," she practically sang.

Bella groaned. "How are you so freaking cheerful after last night?"

Alice smiled. "Because unlike you and Rose, I didn't mix beer and liquor. I just stuck to shots."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I don't even remember getting home. What time did we get back?"

"Jazz, Rose, Emmett, and I took a cab home around 2:00," Alice informed her. "You and Edward left a little before that, I'm not sure exactly what time that was."

"We did?" Bella struggled to remember.

Alice nodded. "Edward just left about 20 minutes ago, actually. He said he had some important errand to run."

"Edward spent the night?" Bella asked. She really must have been out of it, she thought with a grimace.

"He was passed out on the couch last night by the time we all got home," Alice replied. She saw the blank look on Bella's face and giggled. "Not ringing any bells is it?"

Bella shook her head sheepishly. "Should I be worried?"

Alice shrugged. "You didn't do anything terrible," she assured her. "You danced with me and Rose some and then you danced with Edward."

Bella's eyes widened. "Oh no. I should probably apologize for breaking his toes."

Alice grinned. "I doubt you have to apologize. Edward definitely seemed like he was enjoying himself."

Bella groaned. "I thought you said I didn't do anything terrible," she muttered.

"Relax," Alice said. "It wasn't terrible. You had fun, Edward had fun, everyone had fun last night. No broken limbs, fights, or vomiting – all in all, a pretty successful night."

Bella shook her head. "How's everyone else feeling?" she asked, deciding to change the subject.

"I haven't seen Rose or Emmett yet this morning. Jasper's taking a shower – I think I'm going to go join him," Alice added with a grin.

Alice returned to her bedroom as Bella flopped down onto the couch. Ugh. What the hell had _happened_ last night? She had danced? With Edward? She groaned again, dropping her head into her hands. An apology was most likely in order there.

At that moment, the door opened and Edward walked in carrying a large plastic bag and a fast food drink carrier. "Chik-fil-a delivery," he announced.

"Oh, I love you," Bella groaned from the couch.

"Well, that's a very nice greeting," Edward said with a grin as he walked over toward the couch.

He began pulling things from the bag and setting them out on the coffee table in front of Bella. "Chicken sandwich, waffle fries, and since I wasn't sure if you'd prefer the lemonade or some caffeine right now, I got you a diet coke and a lemonade." He pulled the two drinks from the carrier and stuck straws in both.

Bella smiled up at Edward. "First a rescue from an overzealous creep full of bad pick up lines and now my guaranteed hangover cure. You're like my knight in shining armor."

Edward gave an exaggerated bow. "Do you require anything else, m'lady?"

Bella giggled at him. "Nope. Just sit down and eat with me, kind sir."

The two ate in silence for a little while before Bella finally got up the nerve to speak. "Thank you for coming to my rescue last night and getting me home. I'm sorry if I, um, did or said anything awful," she added sheepishly. "I think I kind of had way too much to drink."

Edward smiled. "You were fine," he assured her. "You thanked me for not letting you fall off your shoes."

Bella rolled her eyes. "That sounds about right," she said with a small smile.

"So I'm guessing some parts of last night aren't too clear this morning," he said. Bella saw something flash in Edward's eyes – was that disappointment? – but it was gone as quickly as it came and she chalked it up to her hungover brain.

"About the last thing I remember was thinking that that third or fourth shot with Rose and Alice was a great idea," Bella admitted.

"Yeah, it was definitely that kind of night," Edward agreed.

The two lapsed into silence as they returned to their meal. "So what are you up to today?" Edward asked as he finished off the last of his fries.

"Ugh, not much," Bella replied, taking a long drink of her lemonade. "This is definitely going to be a day of recovery. I'm just glad I got all my classwork done yesterday – I think my brain cells have all gone on strike in protest of last night."

Edward grinned. "Feel like a movie day, then?" he suggested. "I'm sure our other reprobate friends aren't feeling too active today, either."

Bella smiled. "That sounds perfect to me."

"Okay, how about you stay here and pick out some movies, and I'll go see if I can lure the others out of their rooms with the promise of Chik-Fil-A."

"Excellent plan," Bella agreed.

Leaving Bella with her lemonade, Edward gathered up their trash, disposing of it in the kitchen trash before heading for Alice's bedroom.

Bella rose and walked over to the DVD collection next to the TV. There was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was not right, that she had done more last night than anyone was telling her, but she forced herself to push the thought from her mind. After all, if she had done anything awful, she knew Edward would have gently let her know. She trusted him. Shaking her head at her paranoia, she turned her attention to the shelves of DVDs in front of her.

From the doorway to Alice's room, Edward watched Bella for a moment as she perused the DVD collection in front of her, his thoughts in turmoil. He had known Bella was drunk, of course, but he hadn't realized she wouldn't remember anything the following morning. He had kind of hoped she had been acting on her true feelings and the alcohol had just lowered her inhibitions. But if she was so drunk that she didn't remember anything, then she probably hadn't been in any kind of control over herself anyway.

He shook his head in frustration as his scattered thoughts started to give him a headache. Did she really not remember anything that had happened the night before? Or was she just so embarrassed by her actions, particularly as they related to him, that she was only pretending she didn't?

At that last thought, Edward caught himself. Who was he kidding? He knew Bella well enough by now that she couldn't lie to save her life. He was being ridiculous – she obviously just did not remember much of the previous evening.

His shoulders slumped slightly as his mirth quickly faded. Regardless of her actions, he still had no idea what her true feelings toward him were. She had talked in the car about how much she loved the five of them and how lucky she felt to have them in her life, but she had called them her family. Did that mean she thought of him as a brother? He shuddered at the thought. While he wasn't quite ready to give a name to his feelings just yet, he also knew very well that what he felt for Bella was way beyond any type of brotherly affection.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he exited Alice's room and walked down the hall to Rose's bedroom. It seemed all he could do for the moment was wait and pray that his feelings were not entirely one-sided.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. All songs are on my profile and I definitely recommend listening to the second song as it really encompasses Bella's feelings for Edward in this story.

**Special Notes**: For my sis. I couldn't have done this without you. Thanks, Lisey, you're the best!

* * *

Chapter 6

The weekend before Halloween, Alice called everyone together at the girls' apartment to carve pumpkins and watch horror movies in honor of the holiday. It was the first weekend all six of them had had free since going out for Bella's birthday and they were all looking forward to a fun and relaxing night together.

Rose had ordered Thai delivery and they sat around catching up on each others' lives as they happily dug into Pad Thai, Drunken Noodles, Lemon Chicken, and Green Curry. When everyone had stuffed themselves with the delicious food, Alice jumped to her feet and picked up everyone's plates. "Time for pumpkins!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Sharing an amused look, Bella and Rose joined Alice in the kitchen area while Jasper and Edward cleaned up the remnants of dinner. Emmett spread newspaper across the top of the kitchen island as Alice brought over three pumpkins. "Okay, three pumpkins, two people to a pumpkin," she announced.

They easily split off into pairs and Edward turned to Bella, holding out their carving knife. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"Uh-uh, Eddie," Emmett said, pausing in his enthusiastic cutting. "We don't let Bella handle sharp objects. Not after she almost lost a finger doing this."

Bella made a face at Emmett and turned back to Edward. "It's true," she sighed. "Well, sort of, anyway. The first year we did this, there was blood and a trip to the hospital and stitches." She wrinkled her nose. "It wasn't pretty."

"So I should do the cutting?"

"You should do the cutting," Bella confirmed.

The next 45 minutes passed quickly as the pumpkins were designed and carved. Bella collected the pumpkin seeds, promising Emmett and Rose that she would roast them after they dried out, while Alice inspected the finished jack o' lanterns. She deemed them all to be satisfactorily awesome and the six moved into the living room for the movie portion of their night.

"Any preferences?" Emmett asked, holding up the stack of DVDs that he, Jasper, and Edward had picked up from the local Blockbuster that evening.

"Well, you know my parameters," Bella said. "Nothing stupid and gratuitous like _Saw_ or _Hostel_. Horror doesn't necessarily mean who can be the grossest or use the most fake blood."

"Seconded," Alice agreed with a shudder from her position next to Jasper on one of the couches.

Emmett grinned at them. "Don't worry, Bellsy," he said. "I know what you like. We have everything from classics to crap here." He spread the DVDs out on the coffee table for everyone's perusal and soon they had agreed on _The Uninvited, _one of Edward's selections from the video store, as their first choice. Emmett stuck the DVD in the player before flopping next to Rose on the loveseat, leaving the remaining couch for Bella and Edward.

An hour and a half later, the movie ended. "Nice," Rose said appreciatively as the ending credits rolled.

"Definitely better than I thought it was going to be," Jasper agreed.

Emmett still looked a little surprised. "So you mean the girl…and then the…daaaamn," he muttered to himself. "I totally did not see that coming."

Edward turned to Bella. "What did you think?"

Bella nodded. "A surprise ending that actually _was_ a surprise. Good choice," she added with a grin.

They decided on _The Exorcist _next and Emmett excitedly switched up the DVDs. "Sweet, time for flying green puke," he said with a grin.

Rose rolled her eyes as he took his seat next to her. "After all the green curry you ate tonight, I'm surprised that wasn't you earlier."

"Stomach of steel, baby," Emmett bragged as he draped his arm around Rose's shoulders.

"I would just like to put in my vote now for some zombies after this," Jasper spoke up as Emmett skipped through the previews.

"Hear hear," Edward agreed. "What's a horror movie fest without zombies?"

They agreed to watch _28 Days Later_ after their current movie and then everyone quieted down as _The Exorcist's_ creepy theme music filled the apartment and Emmett killed the lights.

A few hours later, toward the end of _28 Days Later_, Edward felt Bella leaning heavily against his side and he looked down at her. She was fighting to keep her eyes open and Edward smiled fondly at her stubbornness. She was obviously exhausted but she refused to give in to sleep while everyone was having such a good time together.

"I really want to watch _Seven_," Rose announced as _28 Days Later_ ended.

"Sounds good to me," Jasper agreed.

"Me, too," Bella mumbled, not bothering to lift her head from Edward's shoulder. Almost unconsciously, Edward slipped his arm around Bella's shoulders, freezing momentarily as his brain caught up with his actions. But she only snuggled closer into his side and a tender smile crossed his face as he watched Bella slipping off to sleep in his arms.

This was the way it should always be, he thought to himself. The six of them together, having fun, Bella in his arms. He sighed to himself. If only he wasn't such a coward and he could actually gather up the guts to tell Bella how he really felt about her. How his heartbeat quickened at just the thought of her, how much he missed her if they went even 24 hours without any contact. How he could quite happily see them sitting together cuddled up on the couch like this for years to come. How he wished he had the freedom to hold her whenever he wanted, to kiss her and share a bed with her, to share himself completely with her.

He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair, marveling at the softness of the silky strands. He found himself wondering what it would feel like against his face and bare chest. Trailing against his hips and thighs as she-

_Stop! _he told himself as he felt his pants start to become uncomfortably tight as a result of the path his thoughts were taking._ This is hardly the time or place. Especially when you still don't know how she feels because you don't have the balls to talk to her about it. _Sighing in frustration, he forced his attention back to the movie and the comments the others were making.

About halfway through the movie, Jasper rose from the couch. For as energetic as Alice was, when she crashed, she crashed hard and it looked like she had done so this time while curled up on Jasper's lap. Bidding goodnight to everyone, Jasper headed off to Alice's bedroom, the sleeping pixie in his arms.

Edward nodded distractedly at Jasper, acknowledging to himself that he could care less about sleeping in a bed at that moment. Or even being horizontal, for that matter. He decided he could happily sleep standing up if that was what it took to keep Bella in his arms.

Emmett and Rose started discussing what movie to put on after _Seven_ but Edward tuned them out, cuddling in closer to Bella with a contented sigh as his arm tightened around her. Yep, this was exactly where he wanted to be.

* * *

When Bella awoke several hours later, the living room was dark and her neck ached from resting at such an awkward angle for so long. She quickly realized she was not alone and immediately knew she was resting against Edward as his familiar scent and warmth surrounded her.

Looking around the living room, she saw that the others were no longer there – most likely off sleeping in Alice and Rose's rooms – and she and Edward were alone. The thought that she should probably head off to her own bedroom occurred to her in passing but she was just so comfortable where she was with Edward's arm around her, his heart beating out a soothing rhythm beneath her ear.

There was just something perfect about the present situation and she tried to convince herself that their positions were completely innocent. _He's your friend_, she reminded herself. _Just like Emmett and Jasper. You've fallen asleep on them before_.

_Yeah,_ her inner voice taunted, _but you've never thought about Emmett and Jasper naked. You've never had dreams where Emmett helped you get undressed or Jasper got aroused just by dancing with you._

That did it, time to move before she did something she regretted.

Very slowly, she took Edward's hand in hers and eased his arm off of her shoulder to rest in his own lap. She paused a moment, admiring the way her hand seemed to fit so perfectly in his as their hands lay clasped together. Shaking her head at herself for her thoughts, she disengaged her hand from Edward's and stood up from the couch.

She turned back to the couch and carefully shifted Edward's body so that he was lying on his back on the couch then pulled a blanket from the back of the couch to cover him. Her hand lingered a moment on his shoulder after she had pulled the blanket up and without thinking about what she was doing, she allowed her hand to travel up and gently caress his cheek.

Edward shifted slightly in his sleep, leaning into her touch, and Bella came back to reality with a jolt, pulling her hand away and taking a step back from the couch. _Bed, now,_ her inner voice told her sternly. Forcing herself not to look back at Edward, she made her way to her bedroom, easing the door shut behind her as she repeatedly reminded herself this was for the best.

She quickly changed into pajamas and climbed into her bed, leaving the bedside lamp on beside her. As she arranged her pillows and shifted her blankets, the dream she had had while she had been sleeping against Edward came rushing back to her, causing her entire body to heat up.

The dream had started innocently enough, just the two of them snuggled together on one of the couches in the living room, but had quickly turned a lot more R rated. Bella remembered suddenly being in her bedroom and a distinct lack of clothing and she blushed as she felt her body beginning to react to the pictures in her mind. _No_, she told herself. _You do not think about Edward that way. You __**can't**_.

If only things were different, if only she trusted herself. _But they're not_, she reminded herself harshly. _He is your friend and you're lucky he's even that so just stop_. The risk was just too great, she told herself, swallowing back her tears.

In an effort to distract herself, she stuck her earphones in and turned on her ipod. She turned off the lamp and settled herself under her covers, smiling slightly as The Frames' _Your Face_ began playing softly.

With some difficulty, she pulled her thoughts away from Edward, focusing all of her energy on the song. Eventually, the soothing music allowed her to relax and sleep had very nearly claimed her when the ipod's randomized option started another slow song.

_"I'm a walking contradiction  
__I'd hate to be my heart  
__It keeps trying not to love you  
__But it don't know where to start."_

In Bella's exhausted state, she found she couldn't even be bothered to expend the slight effort it would take her to reach out and skip to the next song and she attempted to ignore the words and focus only on the music itself as she continued toward sleep. Eventually, she fell into a restless sleep, the music playing on her ipod following her into dreams.

_"Help me fall  
__Help me fall  
__If you care for me at all,  
__Help me fall  
__Help me fall._"

* * *

"God, I feel stupid." Bella turned at the sound of Edward's voice and she couldn't help smiling at the sight before her. Edward stood at the edge of the kitchen dressed in black boots, black pants, a white shirt that was mostly open beneath a black vest and a red scarf around his waist.

It was Halloween night and the six friends were heading out to a party being thrown by a couple in one of Alice's classes. The pixie had been incredibly excited for the party and had somehow managed to convince everyone to let her pick out their costumes for them.

"Look at you," Bella said. "You'll be fighting the girls off at the party." She tried to ignore the way her stomach twisted at her own words and fought to keep the teasing smile on her face.

Edward shuddered. "I hope not," he said honestly.

He and Bella were at the girls' apartment while the other four had gone out to pick up a keg for the party. Bella wasn't sure why all four of them had needed to go, but Alice had insisted and Bella and Edward had been left behind, preparing the group's traditional Halloween meal of Emmett's favorite chili.

Bella giggled. "I have to say, I'm disappointed in Alice. What's a pirate without an eyepatch or a parrot?"

Edward grimaced, gazing down at his costume. "She left me some head scarf thing but I can't figure it out. I think I'll just tell her I lost it." He looked at Bella, an evil grin crossing her face. "I believe it's your turn now," he told her.

Bella sighed. "You're probably right. Alice will kill me if I'm not dressed when they get back." She stirred the chili once more before putting the lid on the enormous pot and turning the burner down low. "Can you keep an eye on this?" she asked Edward. "I don't think I could handle the look on Emmett's face if he doesn't get his Halloween chili."

Edward nodded and Bella went into her bedroom to change. He leaned against the counter, letting his mind wander for a few moments while Bella put on her costume. Classes had been brutal lately as they approached their final exams and he had been looking forward to tonight's party more than he wanted to admit. He was excited to hang out with his friends and have some fun, of course, but more than anything else, he was looking forward to spending an evening with Bella. True, he'd prefer it was just the two of them hanging out together somewhere quiet, but with everyone's schedules being so hectic lately, he'd take what he could get.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he wandered over to the counter where Bella had already cut up a loaf of bread to go with the chili. He shoved a piece of bread into his mouth before removing the lid from the chili pot and stirring with the wooden spoon Bella had left on the stove. He paused over the pot, his mouth beginning to water as he inhaled the savory concoction, and he was about to dip his finger in for a taste when he heard the door to Bella's bedroom close.

"What do you think?" Edward turned and nearly choked on the piece of bread in his mouth. Bella stood at the edge of the kitchen in her pirate costume and Edward wasn't sure whether to curse his twin or sing her praises for the costume she had selected for Bella.

Bella blushed as Edward stared at her, his mouth slightly open. "I know, it's ridiculous," she said, glancing down at it. "But Alice threatened me with worse and I figured this was kind of the least of the three evils she had picked out as far as costumes."

Edward swallowed hard as his eyes traveled over Bella's body. The white shirt she wore had puffy sleeves and fell off her shoulders, the black vest over the shirt cinched in tightly to accentuate Bella's waist and showing off a little more cleavage than he was used to seeing on the brunette. A burgundy skirt that matched the scarf in her hair stopped a few inches above her knees and black heeled boots that rose over her knees completed the outfit. Edward only hoped his own costume was hiding his very sudden and painful erection.

"No, I mean, you look amazing," he said, his voice slightly uneven.

Bella looked up to meet Edward's eyes, her cheeks still stained pink. "I feel silly," she said. "But at least I'm in good company with my fellow pirate."

Edward rolled his eyes and cleared his throat slightly. "You'd think I'd know better by now than to let that girl pick my costume."

Bella laughed. "You should have seen us last year. Alice was on a Wizard of Oz kick for some reason and insisted we all dress up like characters from it. We had Alice as Dorothy, Emmett as the Cowardly Lion, Jasper the scarecrow, and Rose as the Tin Woman."

"I remember seeing a picture of that," Edward said. "You're a little hard to recognize without all of that green paint on your face," he teased.

Bella blushed slightly as she remembered the previous Halloween. Dressing up as the Wicked Witch of the West had actually been quite fun and the green makeup all over her face had allowed her to feel as free as if her face had been hidden behind a mask.

Glancing over at the clock above the stove, Bella realized the chili was most likely ready. "This stuff should finally be done," she said, moving back toward the stove. "Wanna be my taste tester?"

Edward grinned. "You know it. Emmett will be so jealous."

Bella laughed again as she moved to the pot and dipped the spoon in. Holding her hand beneath it, she blew on it a moment before holding it up to Edward's mouth. He eagerly sucked the chili off of the spoon, some of it dripping onto his chin as Bella pulled the spoon away and put it back on the counter.

Without even thinking about it, she quickly brushed her finger across Edward's chin, catching the chili before it could drip onto his costume and sticking her finger in her mouth to suck off the chili. She heard Edward's breath hitch and looked up to see his eyes staring at her with an unfamiliar light in them.

"Bella," Edward whispered hoarsely. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand. Bella's heart was pounding wildly as she slowly leaned forward to meet Edward's lips with her own. Edward's free hand slipped down to rest on Bella's hip and he pulled her closer as Bella's hand came up between them, traveling slowly up Edward's chest before coming to rest above his heart. She could feel Edward's heart beating as madly as her own and she closed her eyes as the space between them diminished.

"Bella, I hope you made a lot of that chili, I'm starving!" Emmett bellowed as he barreled through the front door, the others close behind him. He stopped short, his eyes wide, the others frozen behind him.

The silence was deafening and for a moment, no one seemed able to move. Then the implication of what had almost happened hit Bella full force and she dropped her hand from Edward's chest, taking a step back from him. "I, um, I don't really feel all that well," she mumbled, looking at the floor. "I think I'm just going to go to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning." Without another word or glance at any of them, Bella all but fled to her bedroom, the click of her lock turning echoing in the silent room.

Alice and Rose exchanged a look. "You guys should go," Rose said. "Alice and I are going to stay here in case Bella needs us."

Alice saw the hurt and confusion on Edward's face and she walked over to him, taking his arm gently. "You guys go ahead," she said quietly to Emmett and Jasper. "I need to talk to Edward alone right now."

Jasper and Emmett nodded their agreement. "We'll wait for you in the car," Jasper told Edward. Edward nodded vacantly and Alice indicated that she would send him down after they had spoken. Emmett shot a worried look at his younger brother as he and Jasper left the apartment and Rose went into her bedroom to change out of her costume while Alice led Edward into her room on the opposite side of the apartment from Bella's.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Bella was supposed to reciprocate his feelings and fall into his arms; instead, she had run away from him. It was a nightmare, he thought desperately. That hadn't really happened, had it? He had seen the same look in her eyes that had been in his, hadn't he? She hadn't pushed him away, she had leaned in toward him. How could that not mean something?

He shook himself from these hopeful thoughts, disgusted with himself. Reality mockingly reminded him that there had certainly been no mistaking her feelings when she had turned and practically run to her bedroom, locking the door behind her just to keep him away from her.

He looked up to see his twin looking at him sympathetically. "Oh God, what did I do, Alice? I thought…" He trailed off, his face miserable. "I guess I just saw what I wanted to see." He sighed heavily. "I really fucked things up, didn't I? She couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"Edward, I'm sure it's not-"

"You couldn't see her face from where you were, Alice," Edward interrupted quietly. "She looked like she was going to be sick." He shook his head. "And I caused that."

Alice shook her head. "You're not getting the whole story here, Edward. Believe me when I say you did nothing wrong." She studied him curiously a moment. "I need to ask you something very important and I need you to be honest." Edward nodded for her to continue. "What are your feelings toward Bella?" she asked seriously.

Edward was silent for a few moments and Alice was beginning to think he wasn't going to answer her. Just when she was on the verge of repeating herself, her brother spoke. "I think I'm falling in love with her, Alice," Edward admitted softly.

"_Falling_ in love or _fallen_ in love?"

Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Does it matter? After what I just did, I'll be lucky if she ever even speaks to me again."

"Edward, it's really not what you think," Alice told him. "There's still a lot you don't know about Bella." She paused, twisting her mouth into a grimace for a moment before continuing. "I don't want to interfere but I also don't want either one of you to get hurt if I can help it." She paused once more. "What do you know about Bella's family?" she finally asked.

Edward looked slightly puzzled. "Just that her mom lives in Florida with her stepdad and her father died a few years ago. She's never really seemed to want to talk about it."

"Yeah, well, there's a reason for that," Alice responded. "Bella's parents got divorced when she was 10. Renee, her mom, basically said she didn't want to be married anymore. She just took off saying she couldn't be tied down to a family and left them behind in Portland. Her dad, Charlie, didn't take it well and from what I can tell, he and Bella kind of drifted apart after that.

"When Bella was 16, she and her dad got a letter from her mom totally out of the blue saying she had gotten remarried and was moving to Florida. It was the first time they'd heard from her since she left and it floored her dad. He pretty much shut down then and he started drinking a lot. He tried to still be there for Bella, but she said it was like the life went out of him when he heard about Renee. He was devastated.

"Bella took care of him as best she could and she very seriously considered putting off college. She had a full scholarship but she was thinking of staying home and attending community college so she could keep an eye on Charlie. When he found out, he was really upset and he promised Bella he'd stop drinking and would take better care of himself.

"By the time she left for school, she really thought he was doing better. Then, about two months into our first semester, right before Fall Break, she got a phone call in the middle of the night. Charlie had been driving drunk and hit a tree head on. He died before they could get him to the hospital."

Alice paused to take a breath. "Her dad's death was really hard on Bella. Part of her blamed herself for leaving to come to school and I think another part of her was just devastated that she had lost what was left of her family. That's why she was so off two weekends ago – it was the fourth anniversary of her dad's death."

Edward shook his head. "I didn't know," he mumbled. "God, I should have been there for her."

Alice patted his arm. "You couldn't have known, Edward," she reminded him gently. She shook her head. "That's one of the reasons you never met Bella before you moved out here. We always invite her to come home with us to Forks for holidays and everything but she really just can't seem to bring herself to go back anywhere near where she used to live. She tries to pass it off as a fear of flying, but I'm pretty sure it's more than that. When her dad died, Rose and I went with her to the funeral. Everything of her dad's was left to Bella, including the house. We went through it with her while we were there for the funeral. She tried not to let me or Rose see but she cried the entire time we were in there."

Edward's heart clenched at the thought of all the pain Bella had been through and he was incredibly grateful to Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper for being there for her.

"She sold the house right away," Alice continued. "She really hasn't been out of the Chicago area ever since."

"Where has her mom been during all of this?" Edward asked, upset that Bella's mother had not been there for her daughter when she had needed her most.

"I don't know the last time she spoke to her mom. Renee didn't even come to Charlie's funeral." Alice sighed. "From what I understand, her mom's not a bad person, not really. Of course, none of us have actually met her, but from everything Bella's told me, I just get the idea that Renee never thinks about anybody outside her little bubble. Bella seems to be the adult in that relationship.

"I know she's still hurting but she always tries to hide it from us. She hates for any of us to worry about her. She's never been in a relationship, she's never even slept with anyone. She tends to keep her distance, really, except for the five of us. I don't know if she's afraid of being abandoned again, but she has turned down every guy who has ever approached her for as long as I've known her. She's the one you can always count on and she takes care of all of us. I just wish she'd let herself have someone who wants to take care of her every once in awhile," Alice finished, her expression sad.

"That's what I want, too, Alice," Edward said quietly. "I want to be with Bella and I want to take care of her and…" He trailed off, looking down at the bedspread a moment. "But that's never going to happen now, is it?" he asked miserably, looking up at Alice once more.

Alice patted his arm again. "This isn't the end, Edward," she promised her brother. "You both just need some time right now to think about the situation and what you both want."

Edward didn't look like he believed her but he didn't say a word as she stood from the bed and helped him to his feet. "Come on, you'd better get down to Jazz and Emmett," she said, leading him from her room and back into the living room. "They're waiting for you downstairs in the car."

Rose gave him a sympathetic smile from the couch where she sat watching TV, the volume low. Edward tried and failed to force a smile and instead gave Rose a nod as he walked to the door with Alice.

Alice opened the door before turning and hugging her brother tightly. "Just give her time, Edward," Alice advised when she drew back. "A little time and space. Trust me, things will work out in the end."

Edward could only nod silently, his mind churning with all Alice had told him. He robotically made his way down the stairs and through the lobby. Had he stopped in the lobby, he might have caught a glimpse of his own reflection in the ancient, gilded mirror that hung there and seen the empty expression on his face. He looked for all the world like he had just lost his best friend. And as far as he knew, he had.

While Alice was attempting to comfort Edward, Bella had sought out her own refuge in the solitude of her room. Her costume lay forgotten strewn across her bedroom floor where she had dropped it piece by piece as she'd hurried to hide the sound of her tears behind the rushing water of the shower.

She stood under the shower, vainly hoping that the hot water would help her feel better. The spray of water mixed with her tears as she wept brokenly, absolutely disgusted with herself. How could she have let that happen?

She knew Rose and Alice had most likely stayed behind to take care of her and though she felt incredibly guilty about ruining their evening, she just couldn't make herself go out and face them. She knew she certainly didn't deserve the kind words they would no doubt say as they tried to comfort her. She had just lost the most important thing in her life and she had no one to blame but herself.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: Afraid to Fall

**By**: Liz

**Rating**: M

**Disclaimers**: The characters are not mine, any and all music is not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Author's Notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has read or reviewed so far. I'm so sorry this particular update has taken me forever.

**Special Notes**: For my sis, Blue-Winter-Angel, who all but held my hand from the other side of the world and encouraged me when this chapter was giving me fits. She also wrote me an awesome B&E lemon one-shot for my birthday that I just can't recommend highly enough. Unfortunately, I can't seem to link it from here but it's in my favorites and it's called "One of the Boys." Thanks for being you, Lisey.

* * *

Chapter 7

Shoes. A freaking pair of _shoes_. No, sorry, not just any shoes, Edward thought sarcastically to himself. Oh no. A particular pair of black, heeled Louis Vuitton boots that Alice just _had_ to have home with her or the entire Thanksgiving holiday would be ruined.

He grumbled to himself as he climbed the three flights to the girls' apartment. Since Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett had all flown home the night before, he was the only one left to retrieve the all-important boots. Of course, he thought to himself as he checked his watch, it might have been nice if Alice had called him a little earlier. As it was, he was definitely cutting it close as far as getting to O'Hare on time to make his flight was concerned.

It wasn't really anyone else's fault that he had the later flight, though, he admitted to himself. Back in the beginning of October when he had booked the flight, he had intentionally chosen a flight later than everyone else's just so he would be able to spend some time alone with Bella before he left for the long weekend. He sighed. Not that that was even a factor anymore.

He and Bella hadn't really had a chance to talk since their almost kiss in her kitchen. Bella hadn't outright avoided him, exactly, but she suddenly had a tendency to disappear when the group made plans or at least made sure there were other people around so the two of them hadn't had a moment alone together since.

Any time that the group had made plans to go out, Bella had begged off, saying she had a lot of work to do. If they all met up at the girls' apartment, more often than not, Bella would leave to study at the campus library until it closed. On one occasion when the other five were out to dinner, Emmett had made a crack that with all of the studying Bella was doing lately, she should be able to teach the classes by now. A sharp elbow from Rose had shut him up and he had flashed an apologetic look at Edward before returning to his food.

He missed her. A lot. But he couldn't and he _wouldn't_ try to push anything with her. He would let her take the lead – she could bring up the incident in the kitchen or not. Bella was the best friend he had ever had and he was not going to do anything to further jeopardize their now suffering friendship just because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself and his urges under control.

He didn't know what she was doing for the holiday and wished he had had a chance to see her before he left for home. Edward sighed again, shoving the door to the girls' apartment open.

"Hello?" he called half-heartedly, assuming the apartment was as empty as his own.

He was answered by a groan that seemed to come from Bella's room. "Bella?" Dropping his bag on the couch, Edward hurried into Bella's bedroom but found it empty. He heard the groaning again and saw that the door to Bella's attached bathroom was open and the light was on. "Bella?" He walked into the bathroom, stopping short at the sight before him.

Bella was curled up on the floor of her bathroom dressed only in a tank top and underwear, her arms wrapped around her stomach. Even from where he stood in the doorway, Edward could see the sweat glistening on her forehead.

"Bella!" Edward hurried to her side and dropped to his knees.

Bella raised her head slightly off of the floor as she forced her eyes to focus on the angelic face before her. Surely the fever was making her hallucinate. "Edward?"

Edward smiled gently, pushing her sweat soaked hair back off her face. "It's me. Are you all right?"

Bella groaned again. "I don't feel so good," she admitted.

Edward pressed the back of his hand to her forehead and cheeks, frowning at the heat of her skin. "Bella, I need to take your temperature," he told her as he helped her to a sitting position. "Do you have a thermometer?"

Bella pointed vaguely toward the medicine cabinet above the far end of her sink and after propping her up against the bathtub, Edward rose to his feet and crossed the room to the cabinet. He found the thermometer almost immediately and was quickly back at Bella's side, sticking the instrument under Bella's tongue and wrapping his arm around her as she leaned heavily against his side.

The thermometer beeped and Edward gently pulled it from Bella's mouth, holding it up to the light to get a better view of the display. 102.4.

He swore under his breath, setting the instrument on the sink counter and digging his cell phone from his pocket. His hand gently stroked Bella's hair as he waited impatiently for someone in his family to answer.

"Hello?"

"Emmett?"

"Eddie? What happened, did you miss your flight? Man, mom is gonna be-"

"Emmett, not now," Edward cut in sharply. "Is dad home?"

Emmett heard the tone in Edward's voice and knew the situation was serious. "Yeah, he's off the next few days. What's up?"

"It's Bella," Edward replied. "She's sick, I mean _really_ sick. I need to talk to dad _now_."

Edward heard his brother draw in a sharp breath. "Hang on, I'll get him," he said.

His older brother must have run to Carlisle, Edward decided, because within a matter of seconds, he heard his father's voice on the other end of the line. "Edward?"

"Dad." Edward nearly sighed in relief. His father would be able to make everything better, even if he was halfway across the country. "Bella's really sick. I think I need to get her to the hospital."

"No," Bella moaned. "No hospital, please."

"What are her symptoms?" Carlisle asked, immediately switching into no nonsense doctor mode.

"I came in and I found her on the bathroom floor by the toilet," Edward explained. "She's sweaty and weak and her temperature is 102.4."

Carlisle remained calm. "Is she nauseous?"

"Bella, are you nauseous? Have you thrown up at all?" Bella nodded weakly. "How long have you been throwing up?"

She groaned. "Since last night. I don't think I have anything left."

Carlisle made a decision. "Edward, if she's really opposed to it, you don't have to take her to the hospital. You can take care of her there, she'll be all right as long as her temperature doesn't rise any more." He calmly told Edward what he needed to do, instructing him to call him in a few hours to update him on Bella's condition and to take her to the hospital if her fever didn't start to go down within the next hour or two.

Edward apologized to Carlisle for missing Thanksgiving and asked him to please let Esme know he would call as soon as he could. His father was sorry that he wouldn't be home for the holiday, but he supported Edward's reasoning without question. Alice snatched the phone from Carlisle when he was done giving Edward instructions and demanded to know how Bella was doing, ordering her brother to make sure nothing happened to her best friend while she was gone.

While he was on the phone, Edward searched through Bella's medicine cabinet for specific drugs. After hanging up with Alice, he filled the glass next to the sink with water and sat beside Bella once more. "I need you to take these, okay?" he said gently. "They'll help bring down your fever."

One by one, Bella swallowed the two tablets of Tylenol and the two tablets of Motrin that Edward had handed her. They waited a few moments to make sure the drugs weren't going to come back up before Edward stood again.

He pulled the stopper in her tub and then began running a lukewarm bath. While the water filled the tub, he helped Bella to her feet. "We need to cool you down, love," he told her. Bella nodded, sluggishly dragging her hair back into a messy bun before Edward assisted her in stripping off her tank top and underwear and helped her ease into the bathtub.

Bella sank down until the water reached her shoulders while Edward leaned over and turned the taps off. He crouched next to the tub keeping his eyes on Bella's face while he mentally ran through a list of the items he would need to help in her recovery.

Ten minutes later, when Bella appeared to be on the verge of sleep, Edward decided it was time to get her to bed. He pulled the drain on the tub and helped Bella out, wrapping her in a large towel before scooping her up in his arms.

"Edward, I feel so bad," Bella whimpered, burying her face against his shoulder as Edward carried her to her bedroom.

"I know, sweetheart," Edward said, wincing at the heat still radiating from her skin as her forehead rested against his neck. "I'll take care of you, I promise."

"I know you will," Bella mumbled against his shoulder. "You always do."

Edward set Bella gently on her bed before pulling a pair of lightweight pajama pants and a t-shirt from her dresser. He helped her into them and settled her in the bed where she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. After tucking the light blanket up around her, he slipped out to the kitchen to see if there was anything in the house that Bella would be able to eat when she could start to keep food down.

Bella had only been asleep for a few moments when she awoke with a start. "Edward?" she said softly. No answer. She sat up and looked around her room. "Edward?" she whimpered, beginning to panic. There was still no answer.

He was gone.

No, he wasn't gone – he had never really been there in the first place, she realized as a sudden wave of despair gripped her. No matter how much, she admitted to herself, she really wished he was, he had only been a figment of her fever addled imagination.

She moaned pitifully. Her entire body ached, her mind felt fuzzy, and she couldn't seem to decide whether she was burning up or freezing. She couldn't remember a time she had ever physically felt this bad and all she wanted at that moment was Edward.

But the real Edward was in Forks with the rest of his family, not giving her a second thought. And why should he? Why should he think of her or even want to be anywhere near her after the way she had acted? He was the most wonderful, amazing man she had ever known and she had treated him horribly. She had run away from him and avoided him even when she knew how much she was probably hurting him with her actions. She didn't even deserve the presence of an _imaginary_ Edward after what she had done. _You are a terrible person_, her mind stated.

She didn't even realize she was crying until Edward's voice cut into her thoughts.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked as he re-entered the room, alarmed at the sight of the tears that were now cascading down her cheeks. Bella only shook her head wordlessly as Edward returned to her side. "Bella?"

Bella continued to shake her head. "You're not real," she said sadly, the tears continuing to stream down her face.

"Bella." Edward gently took her hand. "I'm right here, I promise."

Bella looked down at their joined hands in wonder before she slowly reached her other hand up and gently brushed Edward's cheek with her fingers, a choked sob escaping her throat as her fingers met warm skin. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, throwing her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."

Edward wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him tightly. "Shh, it's okay," he comforted, rocking her gently as one hand rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Bella's hands slipped down to grip the front of Edward's shirt in her fists as she sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, love," he murmured into her hair. "Everything's going to be all right."

Eventually, her tears stopped and her grip on his shirt loosened, her hands falling into his lap as her even breathing told him that she was asleep once more.

Edward eased Bella back into bed once more and tucked her in, his fingers gently wiping away the remaining traces of her tears. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling back with a slight frown – she still felt far too warm for his liking.

He took a washcloth from Bella's bathroom and soaked it in cold water, wringing out the excess before gently placing it across her forehead to try to cool her down. After retrieving his cell phone, he called the local grocery store and ordered more Tylenol, Motrin, Gatorade, ginger ale, soup, saltines, and some food for himself for the next few days for delivery. Once the supplies were delivered, he brought the medicine and Gatorade as well as a turkey sandwich for himself into Bella's room. He pulled the large blue armchair in the corner of the room next to her bed, changed into sweat pants and a t-shirt, and pulled a textbook from his bag before settling in to keep watch over Bella.

Bella slept poorly throughout the night and she awoke several times, once even crying Edward's name as she regained consciousness. Edward remained by her side the whole night through, replacing warmed cold compresses with fresh ones and at times getting Bella to take more Tylenol and Motrin or monitoring her temperature, which had fortunately lowered to 101.1 by early Thursday morning.

Edward put the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the TV in Bella's room, dozing now and again as he continued to keep an eye on Bella. When the parade ended, he called his family, updating Carlisle on Bella's improving condition and wishing his family members a Happy Thanksgiving. He was sorry to be missing Thanksgiving with his family for the first time ever, but as he glanced over at a sleeping Bella, he knew he wouldn't want to be anywhere else at the moment.

Eventually, Edward fell asleep in the chair, joining Bella in a nap for the better part of the afternoon. Early that evening, however, Bella's sleep became restless and Edward focused his full attention on her, his textbook long forgotten on the floor. She seemed uneasy for some reason, repeatedly shifting about in her bed as if unable to get comfortable and as he watched, her forehead furrowed and a frown appeared on her face. "Don't go," she mumbled. "Please don't leave me alone. Please."

Remembering what Alice had told him of Bella's parents, Edward felt his heart break as he watched her, realizing the fever dreams were making her suffer through the loss of her parents all over again. He clenched his fists in frustration as he could only helplessly watch Bella's suffering. He decided to try another cold compress to bring her fever down and had just risen from his chair when Bella spoke again, stopping him in his tracks.

"Edward," she whimpered. "Edward, please don't go. Please stay with me."

Edward drew in a sharp breath when he realized that Bella was still talking in her sleep and he quickly sat down on the bed next to her, reaching out a shaky hand to gently brush her cheek. "Shh, it's okay, Bella," he reassured her. "I'm right here. And I promise I'm not going anywhere."

Bella's face relaxed and her body instinctively curled closer to Edward's, her right arm coming to rest across his thighs. "Edward," she sighed happily. Moments later, her breathing evened out and Edward realized she was once again in a deep sleep.

Edward's hand slid up to stroke her hair as he lifted his legs up onto the bed next to her. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella," he repeated softly. "I promise."

* * *

Friday passed much the same with Bella spending a large portion of the day and night sleeping. She was able to keep some broth and saltines down in addition to the Gatorade and her temperature was almost back to normal by Friday evening. By Saturday afternoon, Bella was feeling well enough to take a quick shower and change into yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt before joining Edward in the living room.

Edward had heated up some soup for her and set it on a tray in front of the couch along with some saltines and a glass of ginger ale. She thanked him as she took her seat on the couch and he smiled in return, taking a seat on the couch as well with his soup and sandwich and turning on some mindless horror movie on TV.

Bella was distracted as she ate her lunch, her thoughts far too jumbled to pay attention to the ridiculous movie. She had been extremely careful in making sure that she and Edward had not been alone together since Halloween. She had told herself that she really had just not wanted to deal with the aftermath of their almost kiss because she couldn't have dealt with Edward telling her he had feelings for her and unknowingly destroying their friendship.

Of course, there had also been another part of her that had been avoiding Edward for its own reasons entirely. A part of her, subconscious or not, that really couldn't face the prospect of Edward telling her the entire incident had been a mistake and that he had no feelings for her beyond friendship and possibly brotherly affection. That part of her knew that this was most likely the case and as a result, something in her made her childishly continue her avoidance of Edward.

The previous few days were still fuzzy but she knew that Edward had been there for her, taking care of her every day when she certainly didn't deserve it. Was there a more kind, caring, perfect human being out there? She doubted it. Even after her poor treatment of him, he had been by her side taking care of her every moment since he had first found her lying on the bathroom floor. What she couldn't figure out was why.

Finally, Bella couldn't control herself any longer and she blurted out the question that had been on her mind since the day before.

"Edward, why are you here?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Edward's expression was hurt and Bella hurried to reassure him.

"No, I mean, what about Thanksgiving? You're supposed to be home with your family." Bella remembered Edward once telling her that Thanksgiving had always been his favorite holiday growing up because it was such a big family holiday in his house. Guilt stabbed at her chest. "Please tell me you didn't miss Thanksgiving just to take care of me."

Edward smiled crookedly. "Actually, I was sent here on a mission by Alice to find some "incredibly important" boots that she needed me to bring home with her. I was running so late, there's no way I would have made my flight anyway. Besides, it's always good to start new traditions, right?"

"Edward, I'm so sorry. God, Esme was probably so disappointed," Bella groaned. "I ruined your family's whole holiday."

"Bella, please don't apologize," Edward said seriously. "I'm honestly glad I didn't make it home. I hate to think that you could have been left here all alone as sick as you were. And my parents were just as happy as the rest of our roommates that I was here so you weren't alone during all this. Besides, it was nice to get to spend some time with just you again."

Bella felt her cheeks darken. "I'm sure I was terrible company," she replied, trying to cover her blush. "All I did was sleep and get sick. Not the best way to spend a holiday."

Edward smiled. "Actually, it was nice to have some peace and quiet for once. I live with Emmett – quiet is not something he knows how to do. It was nice to just be here with you and catch up on my reading."

"I'm sorry," Bella repeated, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be sorry," Edward said. "I'm not. I mean, that's what friends are for, right?"

Something flashed in Bella's eyes but it was gone before Edward could identify the emotion. "Right. Friends," she said. Edward could have sworn he heard a note of disappointment in Bella's tone but told himself it was just wishful thinking on his part.

His feelings for Bella remained unchanged. However, even with the way Bella had behaved over the past few days, Edward was less certain than ever where they stood. She had been sick and totally vulnerable – it wasn't fair to judge by anything she had said or done while the fever had been attacking her body. He reminded himself that the important thing right now was getting their friendship back to where it had been before Halloween.

When they had both finished eating, Edward collected their dirty dishes and carried them into the kitchen. While he was cleaning up, Bella flipped through the channels, trying without success to find something to watch. "Ugh, there is nothing on," she grumbled, setting down the remote.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Edward asked as he rejoined her on the couch.

Bella thought a moment. "I rented the whole _Harper's Island_ series from Netflix, We could watch that if you'd like." Edward agreed readily and the two of them settled in more comfortably to watch the 13 part murder-mystery miniseries.

As they sat there together, it gradually became apparent to Bella that Edward was not going to be bringing up what had transpired between the two on Halloween. She tried to ignore the sense of disappointment that accompanied this realization, repeatedly reminding herself that this had been the way she had hoped they would deal with the situation and telling herself to just enjoy being in Edward's presence once more without any kind of complications.

They had been watching for a little while, making a comment here or there but mostly sitting in comfortable silence, when Bella suddenly spoke up.

"I don't think I could do that," she mused out loud.

Edward was confused. "Do what?"

"Spend Christmas somewhere like Jamaica," Bella replied, gesturing toward the TV screen where the bride to be and her father were discussing a previous Christmas they had spent in Jamaica. "It's too warm."

Edward laughed. "I thought you loved the warm weather."

"Yeah, but I don't know, it just seems wrong for it to be warm at Christmas. Anywhere I've ever been at Christmas, there's always been at least the possibility of snow."

"What are you doing for Christmas this year?"

"Um, I don't know," Bella said. "Hopefully get a jump on next semester's readings, I guess. Start looking for a place to do my practicum."

"I really wish you'd come home with all of us."

"I, um, it's way too late to get a flight," Bella mumbled, her excuse sounding weak even to her own ears.

Edward smiled. "We're driving this time. Alice got it in her head that we should do a road trip, all six of us."

Bella's jaw dropped. "But that's, like…" She trailed off, attempting to calculate the distance in her head and then giving up after a few moments. "**How** far is that?"

"About 34, 35 hours, give or take," Edward said. "We're not doing it as a straight drive, though," he assured her, seeing her expression. "We'll stop along the way and stay in hotels on the way there. It should take three days that way. I forget where we're stopping, but Alice has it all mapped out."

"Of course she does," Bella said, a wry smile on her face.

The two lapsed back into silence and as Edward watched the emotions play out on Bella's face, he thought about how hard it would be for her to be back in the pacific northwest. Maybe it was just too much to ask of her, especially at Christmas time.

"Bella," he began gently. "It's okay if you don't want to come, I understand. I know it might be hard for you to be back so close to Portland. But I just want you to remember that we'll all be there for you if you do decide to come. We're your family and we love you."

Bella winced slightly. "I guess Alice told you, huh?"

"Yes," he replied honestly.

Bella bit her lip. She wasn't angry at Alice. If anything, it almost made it easier for her to not have to tell Edward the whole story herself. But could she do this? Was she ready to go back to the west coast, so close to where she had lost her father?

She glanced over at Edward who gave her an encouraging smile. Maybe it was time, she mused inwardly. Maybe she was ready to return to a place that had once held happy memories for her, at least in her childhood. Avoiding it hadn't seemed to help any; maybe this was something she needed to do. And Edward was right. She would be surrounded by the people she loved, the people who were her family now. She could do this. More importantly, she _wanted_ to do this. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay."

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Afraid to Fall

**By:** Liz

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimers:** The characters are not mine, any and all music and movies used are not mine, only the plot and my words belong to me.

**Notes:** *sigh* Well, this took forever and I sincerely apologize for that. I'm actually working on a couple of new stories now, but this time I'm going to wait until they're a lot closer to complete before posting. I've had a really great time writing this story and I really hope everyone enjoys its conclusion! Oh, and there is a lemon in here. I was really stuck on it for awhile and I hope it turned out okay!  
As always, all music is in my profile and I think it always adds to the story to listen to the songs as they are mentioned. Especially when Emmett mentions the Snoopy song! Unfortunately, I could not find the Sundance Kids song anywhere online but it's gorgeous and I highly recommend downloading it from iTunes if you can.

**Special Notes:** For my amazing sis, Blue Winter Angel. For your support, your creativity, and your endless patience with me. This would have been impossible without you. Wtf, mate?  
For twilight-is-lovee for sticking with me through it all from my first fanfic on. And for everyone who has read, favorited, or reviewed – thank you so much for all of your support, it is so incredibly appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 8

"Alice, don't you still have, like, a closet full of clothes at mom and dad's?" Edward grunted as he, Emmett, and Rose struggled to load everyone's luggage into the jeep.

"But I've worn all that stuff before," Alice said, looking at her twin like he was crazy. "I have to have new stuff to wear for Christmas and then Christmas Day. And New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. And then there are the shoes that go with all of them. And there's always-"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "We get it, Al. You need your clothes. I'm just saying, on the way back? You're packing the car."

Alice smiled sweetly. "Whatever you say, dear brother," she chirped, hopping into the passenger seat of the jeep and slamming the door behind her.

"I don't know how you put up with someone who is that cheerful at such an ungodly hour," Bella muttered to Jasper. Jasper just grunted before climbing into the jeep and settling in the very back.

"I don't think he's awake enough for it to register," Rose replied with a roll of her eyes. "Bella, I'm guessing you want the other half of the way back."

Bella nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Rose," she mumbled, climbing in after Jasper.

_It is too damn early to be as bouncy as that pixie is right now_, she thought to herself as she settled into one of the corners of the backseat, adjusting her pillow to rest between her side and the window and pulling her blanket across her lap.

It was 8:30am on Friday, December 19, and the six were getting ready to begin their three day drive to Esme and Carlisle's house in Forks for the Christmas and New Year's holidays. Though she was really looking forward to the trip and she knew they had to leave early given the distance they had to drive, Bella was definitely not thrilled about being up so early on her vacation. As far as she was concerned, since exams were finished, she should be able to sleep as late as she wanted.

Edward and Bella had finished their exams the previous Saturday and after crashing out for most of Sunday, had spent the next few days hanging out just enjoying each other's company. Their relationship had gone back to the easy comfort they had enjoyed before the incident at Halloween and Bella told herself she was very happy with this development, trying her best to ignore the disappointment that lurked at the back of her mind.

Rose and Emmett had finished finals on Monday morning while Alice's last one had been on Tuesday so they had had a few days to decompress before their long journey. Jasper, however, had been the last of the group to finish up with his finals, having taken his last exam on Wednesday afternoon, and his internal clock was still a little off from his rigorous studying schedule.

Finally, Edward, Rose, and Emmett somehow got everything into the car and Emmett slammed the back hatch shut. "Everybody ready?" Alice called out cheerfully as the others joined them in the jeep. Rose and Edward replied affirmatively and Bella gave a sleepy thumbs up from her corner. Jasper grunted in response, not even bothering to open his eyes as he pulled his blanket tighter over him.

"Road trip mix!" Emmett cried excitedly, plugging in his iPod and turning up the volume. "On the road again, I just can't wait to get on the road again."

Alice and Emmett began singing along enthusiastically with Willie Nelson and Bella groaned, burying her face in her pillow. Something told her it was going to be a long day.

* * *

It was a little after 8:00 by the time they pulled into the parking lot of the Radisson in Rapid City, South Dakota that night. Bella had a sneaking suspicion that the drive should have taken a lot longer than it had, but with Alice, Emmett, and Rose pulling driving duty that day and the time change halfway through South Dakota, it had taken just over 12 hours including stops for food, gas, and bathroom.

Not that she was complaining. It had been a largely uneventful ride through Illinois, Wisconsin, and Minnesota into South Dakota and she knew everyone was anxious to get out of the car. Even with music, naps, and random variations on classic car games, everyone was exhausted and a bit cranky and Bella knew she was definitely looking forward to a warm shower and a comfortable bed – though not necessarily in that order.

They unloaded their bags quickly while Alice checked them in and Rose parked the car. They rode the elevator to the fifth floor, agreeing to meet for breakfast at 7:30 the next morning before retiring to their rooms. Rose claimed first shower and Bella kicked off her shoes and flopped down onto one of the queen sized beds, barely acknowledging Alice telling her that she and Bella would be sharing a bed tonight but that Bella could have one to herself the following night. Bella was just grateful to be horizontal and she curled up under the covers, mumbling a good night to Alice before quickly drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Edward and Emmett were unusually quiet during breakfast, both seemingly too drowsy to engage in even the shortest of conversations. Shortly after they reached the car, the girls learned the reason for their sleepiness.

"How many rooms are we getting at the hotel tonight?" Emmett asked Alice as she climbed into the front seat with Jasper who would be driving the first leg of their trip that day.

"Two," Alice responded as she buckled her seat belt.

"Al, can't we get three rooms so I can share a bed with Rose?" Emmett whined.

"No, Emmett," Alice responded, turning to look at her older brother. "I've already reserved two rooms for us and it's silly to get another room just for overnight. You'll have plenty of time to share a bed with Rose when we get to mom and dad's. Besides, we want a little girl bonding time."

Emmett groaned. "But sharing a bed with Eddie suuuucks."

"Really? You think it was a picnic for me?" Edward asked irritably from where he sat in the very back with Bella.

"You kick," Emmett said.

"Well you fart," Edward shot back.

"Enough!" Rose snapped. "This is a long enough drive without the two of you bitching at each other. If you both had such an awful night's sleep last night, then do us all a favor and sleep now instead of sniping at each other like a pair of old ladies."

Properly chastened, the boys exchanged dirty looks before settling back in their respective seats. Hiding her smile at the boys' whining, Bella handed Edward her blanket and extra pillow so he would be able to get some rest.

Edward gave her a grateful smile before shoving the pillow up against the window and draping the blanket across his body. Bella's scent enveloped him and he smiled contentedly, snuggling in to the pillow as he held it close. _Of course, it would smell even better if I was actually holding her_, he thought drowsily. It was with this thought and a wistful smile on his face that he fell into a sound sleep.

* * *

At Alice's insistence (following her extremely loud squeal of delight at the restaurant's sign), they had stopped for lunch at the Whitlock Stillwater Steakhouse in Columbus, Montana. Afterward, Edward had taken over driving and Bella had claimed shotgun as they continued the long drive through the state.

While the others napped, talked, and listened to their iPods in the back, Bella and Edward talked quietly or just enjoyed the companionable silence between them as the unfamiliar landscape rushed past.

When they hit Missoula, Montana, Edward reluctantly relinquished driving duties. Bella knew Edward would have happily continued driving all the way to their destination of Spokane but she wanted to do her part as well and had given Edward puppy dog eyes until he had given in and switched seats with her.

As they crossed into Washington State, they were greeted by a sign at the side of the road saying, "Welcome to the Pacific Northwest." Seeing Bella tense up a bit, Edward reached across the console and laid his hand over her right hand where it rested on the steering wheel, gently brushing the back of her hand with his thumb. Bella turned her head to see him looking at her, his smile not quite hiding the concern in his eyes. She took a deep breath and nodded, giving him a small smile in return. She could do this. As long as she had her family around her, she knew she would be able to get through this.

Emmett's voice from the backseat broke the moment between them. "Hey guys."

Edward turned around as Bella glanced at him in the rearview mirror. "What's up, Emmett?" she asked.

"How do you scare a bee?" He waited a beat before responding, "Boo-" and his finger quickly jabbed out to poke Rose in the breast. "Bee," he finished triumphantly.

From the very back of the jeep, Jasper snorted before he and Alice began laughing uncontrollably. Unable to keep a straight face, Rose quickly joined them as Emmett grinned proudly. In the front, Bella and Edward exchanged a look before they both began giggling helplessly as well. As she got her laughter under control, Bella relaxed in her seat and returned her full attention to the road in front of her. Yep, she could definitely handle this.

Twenty minutes later, she pulled up in front of The Montvale Hotel, putting the car in park and helping the others unload the car while Alice went into the lobby and checked them in.

"I hope this place has a restaurant," Emmett grumbled. Since it was still relatively early thanks to the time zone change they had hit when they reached Idaho, they had collectively decided to wait until they had checked into the hotel and gotten settled before going in search of dinner.

A few minutes later, Alice rejoined them, two small envelopes in hand. "All set?" Jasper asked.

Alice nodded. "Girls, we're in 315," she said, handing keys from one envelope to Bella and Rose. "Standard Double Queen Room. As promised, Bella, you get your own bed tonight."

"Aww, Alice, don't tell me we have to share those tiny little queen beds again," Emmett whined.

"Emmett, only you would refer to a queen bed as tiny." Emmett stuck out his lower lip and Alice rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I managed to upgrade you boys to a suite with two beds and a pull out couch so no one has to share a bed tonight, okay?"

Edward threw his arms around his sister. "I love you, Al," he said, pretending to wipe away tears of gratitude.

Alice pushed him away. "Like we all want to have to hear you guys bitch and moan again tomorrow," she said, unable to keep the grin off her face. "320," she added, handing the boys the keys to their room.

"Awesome. Now let's get this crap inside, I'm starving," Emmett suggested.

"Bella and I are going to go park the car," Edward said. "We'll meet you guys up there." Without waiting for a response, he climbed back into the passenger side and waited for Bella to rejoin him.

Bella climbed into the driver's seat and started the jeep, pausing to give Edward a puzzled look.

"This way we can avoid being pack mules for Alice's bags," he explained.

Bella grinned. "Devious."

Edward winked. "That's me."

They parked the jeep in the hotel's garage and when they returned to where they had left their friends, found they had indeed already gone upstairs with the luggage. "Mission accomplished," Bella teased, high fiving Edward as they entered the hotel and took the elevator up to the third floor.

"I'm going to get those two fools and we'll meet you in the hallway," Edward said.

Bella nodded. "Sounds good." She watched Edward disappear into his room before turning and entering her own.

As she shut the door behind her, she sank back against it, an enormous yawn practically threatening to dislocate her jaw. She hadn't wanted Edward to worry so she hadn't mentioned it, but she was flat out exhausted. Aside from a short nap that morning, she hadn't slept in the car and between that and driving the last 200 miles, she felt ready to drop. The last thing she wanted to do at the moment was go hunting for food or sit in some restaurant.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked from the bathroom where she was touching up her mascara.

"Actually, would you guys mind bringing me back something?" Bella asked. "I seriously think I'm about to fall asleep standing up."

"No worries, Bells, we'll grab you something," Rose promised. "Come on, Alice. Let's go get the boys before Emmett decides to go all cannibalistic on your other brother and your boyfriend."

Alice grimaced and picked up her purse. "You sure you don't want to come?" she asked Bella.

Bella shook her head. "I really just want to lie down right now."

"Okay. We'll see you later, sweetie," Alice said, giving her a wave before quickly following Rose out the door.

Bella sighed, sinking down onto the queen-sized bed that held her suitcase. She pulled a pair of pajama pants and a camisole from the bag before heading to the bathroom to wash her face and change into her pajamas. With that done, she returned to her bed, pulling the covers back before flopping down on the bed and pulling the blanket back up to her shoulders.

She had just gotten comfortable and was very nearly asleep when someone started knocking on her door. Bella groaned. "Go away," she mumbled.

"Bella?"

Bella groaned again. Edward. That meant she had to get up. She dragged herself out of bed and made her way to the door, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she walked.

She opened the door and stood to the side so Edward could enter. "What's up? I thought you went with everyone to get dinner."

Edward only smiled before turning back to the door and picking up the "Do not Disturb" sign that was hanging from the doorknob. "Perfect," he said with a wicked grin. "This should get the message across." He hung the sign on the outer knob before closing the door firmly and dropping the chain on the door.

He turned to face Bella again and she almost gasped at the way he was looking at her. His normally clear green eyes were dark and the expression in them as he stared at her could only be described as pure, unadulterated lust. "Edward, what-?"

Edward reached forward and cupped Bella's cheek in his hand. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted you? How badly I need you?"

Bella's jaw dropped and she could only stare at Edward mutely as his thumb gently caressed her cheek. Edward took advantage of her silence, pulling her to him as he crushed his lips to hers. Bella gasped against his lips, unable to move for a moment. Then her instincts kicked in and she wrapped her arms around Edward's neck, pressing herself even more closely against his body. Edward groaned as one hand slid to the small of her back, holding her in place as he continued to attack her mouth. His tongue slid across Bella's bottom lip and she eagerly parted her lips.

As his tongue explored her mouth, Edward turned Bella so that her back was pressed to the door. He slid a hand behind her right knee and lifted it up to his waist. Understanding what he was trying to do, Bella lifted her other leg and wrapped her legs tightly around Edward's waist.

Edward groaned again and carried Bella over to the bed she had been lying on moments earlier, his lips leaving hers to trail a path down her neck as he laid her down on the bed. He moved back for a split second, yanking his shirt over his head before joining Bella on the bed.

He held himself over her momentarily, balancing his weight on his arms as they rested on either side of her body. "You don't know how long I've wanted this." He dipped his head down, tracing his tongue along her collarbone before pulling back to look at her again. "Or how long I've waited to hear you scream my name," he added with a wicked grin.

Bella moaned and Edward's eyes darkened further. "Bella," he murmured in her ear. "Sweet, innocent Bella." He trailed his tongue lightly down the outer shell of her ear before biting softly on the lobe. "Mine," he purred. Bella mewled, arching her back as Edward continued to trail kisses down her jawline.

"Oh God, Edward," Bella breathed. One of his hands was on her left breast, kneading it through her flimsy top, his lips were attacking her neck, and she could feel every hard inch of him pressing against the inside of her thigh. She shifted, trying to hook her leg around Edward's back when she suddenly felt the mattress give way beneath her.

Bella opened her eyes as her butt connected with the floor of the hotel room. Startled, she blinked her eyes, wincing at the sudden brightness.

"Hi, Bella," came a voice from above her.

The voice was not the beautiful velvety voice that had been crooning endearments in her ear only moments earlier. The voice _was_ familiar, however, and Bella looked up to find its source.

Rose was sitting on the bed that Bella herself had previously occupied while Alice was perched on the opposite bed. Both were looking down at her with evil grins on their faces. "So, sounds like you were having a pretty good dream, Bella," Rose said, her eyes dancing.

Bella swore she must have blushed to the roots of her hair as she recalled her vivid dream. "I, uh, I. Did you push me off the bed?" she asked, desperately trying to redirect the girls' attention.

Rose smiled. "Yes. I didn't think you'd really want witnesses where that dream was going."

Bella ducked her head, unable to look either of her best friends in the eye. "Um, so, uh, did you guys find somewhere to eat?" she managed to choke out.

Rose grinned evilly. "Nice try, but back to what sounds like a **very** interesting dream," she said. "Edward, huh?"

Impossibly, Bella swore her face probably turned even redder and she wished the floor would open up and swallow her. No such luck.

"Spill," Alice said, her eyes dancing. "Were you dreaming about my darling brother in the way I **think** you were dreaming about him?"

Bella winced. "Exactly, Alice," she said. "He's your brother."

"Uh huh," Alice said. "I'm quite aware of that. So what's your point?"

"Well, I mean, you know. You're my best friend. I don't want to do anything that's going to make you uncomfortable."

Alice smiled and shook her head. Typical Bella, always putting everyone else's feelings before her own. "Bella, yes, he's my brother. And you're practically my sister." She paused a moment, wrinkling her nose. "Well, that sounds gross, but you know what I mean.

"I love both of you so much and I've seen how you are around each other. Bella, I've never, _ever_ seen you look as happy as you do when you're with him. And Edward, well," Alice paused again, grinning. "He's always looking at you when he thinks no one else is looking and he just lights up whenever you're around. You two have been really good for each other and there's no one I would trust more for either one of you." She paused to take a breath and smiled at Bella. "And it's about time you both realized that."

"Alice, please," Bella said. "No one has _realized_ anything. Edward is my friend and that's all." Her cheeks turned pink again. "It was just a dream. I don't feel that way about Edward and he doesn't feel that way about me."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Still in denial, huh? And why do I think that's not the first time you've had a dream like that?" Bella's deepening blush confirmed Alice's guess and the pixie grinned. "I wonder what Edward would say if he knew the dreams you were having about him," she teased.

Bella's eyes grew wide and she grabbed Alice's ankle. "No! Alice, please don't say anything to him!"

"Relax, Bella," Rose said. "No one's going to say anything. But are you really going to keep denying that you have any feelings for him? And do you honestly think he doesn't feel the same way about you?"

Bella blushed again. "We're just friends," she mumbled. Rose and Alice looked at her skeptically. "What? We are," she insisted. "It's not like that between us. Besides, why on earth would Edward want someone like me?"

"You mean someone smart and kind and beautiful and funny?" Alice said. "Yeah, why would he want that?"

Bella's blush deepened. "Shut up," she mumbled. "I'm not. He doesn't like me like that and it would just end up ruining our friendship if he thought I did."

Alice shook her head in frustration. Sometimes she just wanted to grab Bella and shake some sense into her. Why was it so hard for her to see something that was painfully obvious to everyone else? She looked over at Rose, exasperated.

"Bella, think about it," Rose said gently. "Edward has been taking care of you from the moment you two met. And I'm not talking in the way you take care of someone who is just a friend. He is always by your side when you need him, no matter what the problem is. He stayed behind at Thanksgiving to take care of you when you were sick even though you weren't even talking to him at the time."

Bella flinched. "I never asked him to," she protested.

"Exactly," Rose replied. "Because you didn't have to. Because it was you, Bella, and Edward is always there to take care of you. And believe me, he never complained one bit about missing the holiday and I'm sure it never even crossed his mind to want to be somewhere else. His only concern was you." She stopped a moment and took a deep breath, her tone softening once more. "Edward is something special, Bella. In fact, cheesy as it might sound, he's _your_ something special. Do you really just want to let that go?"

"You don't understand," Bella said quietly.

"Sure we do," Rose responded. "I know it's scary. You might not remember this, but I was scared when things started getting serious with Emmett. Hell, I was terrified when I realized how much he means to me. Letting someone get that close to you, letting them matter so much, it's frightening. But it can also be totally worth it. You just have to let yourself be open to the possibility, let yourself trust him."

Bella shook her head slightly. "You don't understand," she repeated. "I trust Edward. Completely." She sighed. "It's me I don't trust."

Alice and Rose exchanged a confused look. "Bella?" Alice said softly.

Bella took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm afraid," she admitted. "But that's not…" She made a strangled noise as she bowed her head, staring at her lap silently for a moment. When she raised her eyes to her friends, Alice and Rose saw the fear in her eyes. "What if Ihurt him?" she asked quietly. "What if I'm just like Renee?" Tears began streaming down her face and Alice slid off the bed to sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, honey," Alice said, rubbing her shoulder soothingly. "You're not your mom. You never could be."

"But what if I am?" Bella asked, leaning her head against Alice's shoulder as her tears continued. "I saw what losing Renee did to my dad. Edward doesn't deserve that kind of pain. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to him."

Rose and Alice exchanged a look over Bella's head as realization dawned for both of them. "Bella," Rose said gently, "I think that right there gives you your answer."

Bella looked up at Rose, the tears still slipping down her face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the fact that you're even thinking about it and putting Edward's well being above what you might want for yourself shows that you could never hurt him like your mom hurt your dad."

Bella shook her head. "I want to believe that," she said, sniffling. "I really do. But…" she trailed off, wiping away her tears with the tissues that Alice had handed her.

Rose looked at her two best friends for a moment before seeming to come to a decision. "Bells, just because you share blood and DNA with someone, it doesn't mean you're going to be anything like them." She snorted. "Sometimes it doesn't even make them family."

Bella and Alice looked up at Rose, matching inquisitive looks on their faces. The atmosphere in the room seemed to have somehow shifted and they could tell that whatever Rose was about to share with them was important.

Rose sighed. "So, okay, there are some things you guys don't know about me or my so-called family. You know the money that I told you guys is from my family? Well, it is but it's probably not what you think. Before my grandmother died, she set up a trust for me. She knew what my mother was like and she wanted to make sure I'd be taken care of after she was gone. I was her only granddaughter and we were very close."

"What was your mom like, Rose?" Alice asked in a little voice when Rose paused momentarily.

Rose grimaced. "She wasn't abusive if that's what you're thinking. At least not in any way that leaves a physical mark." She crossed her legs, resting her elbows on her knees as she began examining her fingernails.

"I am my mother's only child. She never wanted children, as she made sure to tell me pretty much every damn day, but lucky for both of us, somehow, I got here." Rose sighed again. "No, the only thing my dear mother has ever cared about is money. Getting money, spending money – on herself, of course – it's what her life is about.

"I was all right as a pretty little doll to dress up and show off but when I was old enough to talk, I wasn't fun for her anymore so I was shipped off to boarding school in Canada as soon as I was old enough. Which meant, you know, five.

"What about your dad?" Bella whispered.

The blonde shrugged. "My dad was long gone by the time I was born and my mom never saw fit to tell me anything about him. Anytime I asked, she'd get really pissed off and start screaming at me. Eventually, I just stopped asking.

"As far as she was concerned, the only purpose in my life was to marry rich. Then I would be able to take care of her, the way she had always taken care of me." Rose rolled her eyes. "Most of our conversations were about what I should do to appeal more to the opposite sex – lose 20 pounds, get a nose job, collagen injections, botox. You name it, she thought it was a procedure I needed.

"About the only time she ever took any interest in me was when I was looking at colleges. That Forbes list of the hundred richest people is like her bible and she would send me all these emails about "eligible" sons and grandsons and nephews and where they went to college."

Rose rolled her eyes again. "She just moves from one rich idiot to the next. I don't even know what number husband she's on now. When I left home for school freshman year, I cut all ties to her. Not that she cares, but I'm pretty sure she has no idea where I am right now or what I'm doing with my life."

Bella put her hand on Rose's foot. "I'm sorry, Rosie," she said softly.

Rose shrugged. "Growing up wasn't the best time but it's the past and I consider myself really lucky now. I have all of you guys. I have Emmett." She smiled at Alice. "And your parents have made me feel like one of their own daughters since the first time Emmett brought me home. I've never actually had that before," she finished softly.

Bella squeezed Rose's foot gently and the blonde smiled, the faint look of melancholy leaving her eyes instantly. "You know, the first time Emmett told me he loved me, I had no inhibitions about saying it back. And I realized, this is real, this is the guy for me. My friendship with you all and my relationship with Emmett are the first real things I've ever had in my life. You guys are my family."

Alice jumped up and threw her arms around Rose. "And we love you, Rose. You know that, right?"

Rose smiled. "I know, Al," she said, hugging her back as she reached down to Bella's hand where it still rested on her foot and squeezed it. "I have the best family in the world. It just took me a little longer to get it than some people."

Alice sat back down next to Bella and Rose cleared her throat, quickly pulling herself together. "But you see, that's what I mean, Bells. Neither one of us grew up with what you'd call good role models in our mothers, but that doesn't mean we're going to turn out anything like them. You're not the self-absorbed airhead that Renee is, I'm not the gold digging, money hungry bitch that my dear mother is."

"Well, actually, I didn't want to say anything," Alice began teasingly.

Rose gave her the finger and Bella laughed, breaking the heavy atmosphere in the room.

Rose nudged Bella gently in the shoulder with her foot. "Just think about it, okay? You're always taking care of the rest of us; isn't it time you let someone take care of you every once in awhile?" Before Bella could respond, Rose jumped up from the bed and grabbed a styrofoam container from the dresser. "And it's probably really cold now, but we got you a grilled cheese sandwich and fries if you're hungry."

Bella smiled as she took the container from Rose and settled on her bed, completely unfazed by the blonde's sudden subject change. "Thanks, you guys," she said.

Rose and Alice were both very well aware that Bella wasn't just talking about dinner and Alice squeezed Bella's arm as she got up. "Anytime, sweetie."

Bella opened the take out container, the smell of the french fries and sandwich making her suddenly realize she was starving. Knowing she probably needed some time to herself, Rose and Alice left Bella to her thoughts as they flipped through the channels, finally settling on some ridiculous TV movie and settling in to watch.

After practically inhaling her dinner, Bella turned off the bedside lamp and snuggled down under her covers, her mind going a million miles a minute about the events of the past hour. Was Rose right? Was she really free from having to be like her mother? And what about her dream? Was that how she really felt about Edward? He was the best friend she'd ever had but that's all he was, wasn't it?

Eventually, exhaustion overtook the thoughts raging through her mind and she finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Bella sat in the very back of the jeep, sticking her headphones in and turning her iPod on as soon as she was seated. She knew it was probably very rude, but she needed the time alone with her thoughts, time to attempt to sort out her feelings for Edward. She hadn't come to any true conclusions the night before and her conversation with Rose and Alice was still at the forefront of her mind.

The day was gray and chilly out but fortunately, there was no sign of any snow yet. As she watched the unfamiliar scenery along I-90 West whip past the car, Bella felt her eyelids grow heavy. Two time zone changes in two days still weighed on her and though she had slept heavily, she didn't feel very rested. As her thoughts drifted to Edward and all they had shared in the months since they met, she snuggled further into her corner of the backseat. Promising herself she was only going to let her eyes rest for a bit, she closed her eyes, the gentle motion of the jeep and the soothing music on her iPod soon causing her to drift off.

"_And I don't even know what's real  
__But I know I've never  
__Wanted anything so bad  
__I've never wanted anyone so bad._

_If I let you love me  
Be the one adored  
Would you go all the way?  
Be the one I'm looking for  
If I let you love me (If I Say)  
Be the one adored (It's Okay)  
Would you go all the way (You can Stay)  
Be the One I'm looking for…"_

"Bella? Bella, wake up," Alice commanded. Bella opened her eyes to see the pixie leaning over the seat in front of her, Bella's iPod headphones in hand. "We're stopping for lunch. Wake my lovely twin, will you?"

Bella shook her head, trying to clear it as Alice handed her back her headphones. What was going on? Had she been-?

She panicked momentarily as her head cleared. She had fallen asleep in the back of the jeep. Right next to Edward. Oh God. Had she been talking in her sleep? Edward had featured prominently in her dreams – what if she had mentioned his name or worse? But looking around, she saw that Edward appeared to be sound asleep on the other side of the backseat and Alice had already turned back to Jasper, continuing what looked like a very in depth conversation.

She reached over and shook Edward's shoulder gently. "Edward? Wake up, we're stopping for lunch."

Edward blinked his eyes and stretched, smiling at Bella as his eyes focused. "Let me guess, Taco Time?" Emmett had been talking about his favorite taco restaurant non-stop since lunchtime the previous day and had been thrilled to find on the GPS that there was one on their route home.

Bella grinned back. "Of course."

She climbed out of the jeep, Edward following more slowly behind her. As he shut the door and turned around, Alice caught his eye and gave him a knowing look. She and Jasper certainly hadn't been too involved in their conversation to miss Bella murmuring Edward's name a handful of times while she had slept. Alice also knew full well that Edward had not been asleep, either.

Edward gave a subtle shake of his head, silently telling Alice not to push it, before he turned and followed Rose, Emmett, and Bella into the restaurant. Alice smiled up at Jasper as she took his hand, swinging their arms between them as they, too, made their way inside for lunch.

Half an hour later, after consuming three Crispy Chicken Ranchero Burritos, a Big Juan Burrito, two large orders of Mexi Fries and three apple empanadas, Emmett finally declared himself to be full and the six piled back into the jeep.

"Any idea how much further?" Bella asked as she settled into the very back of the jeep next to Edward.

"Should be about four more hours," Jasper responded from the passenger seat.

Alice grinned wickedly as she started the jeep. "And I bet I can get us there in three and a half."

Bella groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Please don't say that."

Edward thought quickly. "Hamlet or Macbeth?" he asked conversationally.

Bella uncovered her face and looked up at Edward. "What?"

"Hamlet or Macbeth," he repeated as if it made perfect sense. "Who's worse?"

Bella gave him a funny look as they pulled out of the parking lot. "I'd probably say Hamlet, honestly," she responded slowly. "I mean, I know Macbeth murdered people just to gain power for himself and his wife but Hamlet, I don't know, he's just such a horrible character. I really don't know how we're supposed to feel any sympathy for him. I mean, he really brings almost everything – excluding his father's death, of course – on himself."

Edward smiled to himself as Bella continued on, her passion for the subject quickly taking her mind off of Alice's nerve wracking speedy driving and allowing her to relax as they continued on to Forks.

Nearly three and a half hours later, Bella, Edward, Emmett, and Rose were involved in a competitive game of "Go Fish" when Alice gave an excited squeal from the front seat. Bella looked up in time to see Alice turn off the main road they had been driving on onto an unpaved road that seemed to cut right through a forest.

"The private road to their house," Rose said in answer to Bella's questioning look. "We're almost there," she added, an enormous grin on her face.

Bella felt an excited fluttering in her chest as the car drove down the road, passing quickly through a stand of trees whose sweeping branches formed a canopy over the road. Abruptly, they pulled up to a large grassy area and a large, white, three-story house loomed in front of them. Bella's jaw almost dropped as her eyes traveled over the stately older structure, taking in the beautiful architecture and the festive roping draped along the large wrap around porch. "It's gorgeous," she breathed.

Rose smiled understandingly, remembering the first time Emmett had brought her to his parents' house. "Yeah, it is," she agreed. "Wait 'til you see inside."

As Bella stared at the house, the front door opened and Esme came hurrying down the front steps, Carlisle following behind her at a slightly more reserved pace. Emmett jumped from the jeep the moment it stopped moving, meeting his mother halfway between the steps and the jeep and swinging her up into an enormous bear hug. The others quickly piled out of the jeep and followed suit, Bella hanging back a bit as the others said their hellos.

As she watched the people before her hugging and laughing and smiling, Bella was suddenly struck by the perfection of the scene before her and a humbling realization. Rose had been right. These wonderful, amazing people were her family and they _wanted_ her here. She truly _belonged_ here. Warmth flooded her bones and she smiled happily at the thought.

She was abruptly pulled from her musings by Esme's voice. "Bella!" Esme threw her arms around Bella and hugged her tightly before pulling back and holding her at arms' length. "It's been far too long, sweetie. Let me look at you. You look wonderful! I'm so glad you're here, it's so good to see you!"

Bella smiled as Esme managed to sound more like Alice than Bella had ever heard. "It's good to see you, too. I'm so sorry I kept Edward from Thanksgiving," she apologized.

Esme waved her hand. "Don't be silly. Edward was exactly where he was supposed to be," she said, smiling at her youngest son as he carried several suitcases into the house. "And now all six of my children are here and we can have a real family Christmas together," Esme continued as she beamed at Bella.

Bella was touched by the sentiment and ducked her head as a faint blush crept up her cheeks. "Thank you."

Esme released Bella as her husband appeared at her side. "Bella, welcome," Carlisle said as he embraced her. "We're so glad you could come."

"I'm really glad to be here," Bella said honestly. "Thank you for having me."

"You're family, sweetie," Esme said, throwing her arm around Bella's shoulder and leading her toward the house. "And families belong together during the holidays."

They walked through the front door, joining the others in the spacious, high ceilinged front room. "I'm just going to order some pizza if that's okay with everyone," Esme said as Emmett, Edward, Rose, Jasper, and Carlisle began carrying the luggage up the stairs. "I'm sure you're all exhausted after your drive."

Everyone agreed with this plan and Alice grabbed Bella by the arm. "Time for the tour!" she squealed excitedly.

Bella barely had time to look around at the open, airy room they were in before Alice was dragging her toward the back of the house. Their first stop was an enormous kitchen that had Bella practically drooling and secretly hoping she would get a chance to utilize the gleaming high tech, customized appliances. They next moved on to a large formal dining room that Alice told Bella they only used on the rarest of occasions, then a large living room with extremely comfortable looking chairs and couches, a large stone fireplace, and a big flat screen TV on one wall.

From there, Alice pulled Bella back through the room they had originally been standing in and over to the large curving staircase that Bella could only assume led to the second floor. "Oh, and that's Edward's baby," Alice told Bella as she dragged her up the stairs, pointing to a gorgeous grand piano that stood in the corner of the room by the floor to ceiling windows that lined one wall of the room. Bella barely had time to gape at the majestic instrument before Alice was pulling her forward and she was forced to focus all of her attention on not tripping up the stairs as Alice tugged her along.

Alice pointed out Esme and Carlisle's room, a large library whose shelves were crammed with books (Bella made a note to herself to return to this room as quickly and often as possible), Esme's office, Carlisle's study, Emmett and Rose's room, Jasper's room, a guestroom, and Alice's own bright, tastefully decorated bedroom complete with an antique King sized canopy bed.

Before Bella really even had time to process any of this information, Alice was pulling her up a shorter staircase at the far end of the hall. "And this is the third floor. There are two guest rooms and Edward's bedroom up here," Alice said as she hurried them up the stairs, pulling Bella with her into the bedroom opposite the stairs. "This is Edward's room," she announced as she finally released Bella's arm.

Her comment was rather unnecessary as Edward was standing in the room unpacking his suitcase at that moment and he gave Bella a sympathetic grin. "The two dollar Alice whirlwind tour, huh?" he teased. "I'll show you around for real later if she hasn't scrambled your brain too badly."

Alice threw a pillow at Edward in protest but Bella was focused solely on the room before her. Much like the front room on the first floor, the wall opposite the door was mostly taken up by floor to ceiling windows. A worn, comfy looking couch sat in front of the windows and a large bed was against the wall to Bella's left. A flat screen TV hung on the wall across from the couch and the wall opposite the bed housed a closet, dresser, and shelving units filled with books, CDs, and various framed photos.

Bella smiled softly as she looked around the room. It was so perfectly Edward.

Alice's voice interrupted Bella's thoughts. "Where'd you put Bella's bags, Edward?"

Edward smiled crookedly. "Don't worry, Al, I've got it from here, okay?"

Alice smiled. "Whatever you say. I'll see you guys downstairs. You might want to hurry if you want to get any pizza with Emmett around," she added over her shoulder as she descended the stairs to the second floor.

"Shall we?" Bella nodded and followed Edward out of his room and to the bedroom on their right. Edward stood just inside the doorway and Bella stopped next to him as she gazed around the room. It had been decorated in shades of deep ocean blue, accented with paler blues and white. The bed was large and covered with a blue and white striped comforter and numerous pillows. The desk, dresser, and shelves were done in matching cherry wood finishes and an overstuffed blue armchair sat in one corner by the bed. The feature that really caught Bella's attention, however, was the long, cushioned windowseat that ran the length of the two large windows on the wall opposite the door.

"I thought you might like this one," Edward said. "That windowseat's really comfortable and with the trees bare, you can see all the way out to the stream."

"It's perfect, Edward," Bella said softly, smiling as she happily pictured herself settled in on the windowseat reading the afternoon away. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Edward replied, his smile mirroring Bella's. They stood silently a moment before Edward cleared his throat. "I think Alice was right, we should probably head downstairs if we want any pizza."

"Good plan," Bella agreed. "I think I'm gonna change first, though."

Edward decided to do the same and he left Bella in her room as she pulled her pajama pants and a long sleeved t-shirt from her suitcase. She quickly changed into her pajamas, longingly eyeing the comfortable bed for a moment before there was a knock at her door and she opened it to find Edward standing there. "Ready?" he asked. He was dressed in blackwatch plaid pajama pants and a faded black t-shirt, his messy hair in greater disarray than usual after tugging off one shirt and pulling another on. Bella nodded, resisting the sudden strong urge to run her fingers through his hair, and followed Edward down the two flights of stairs to the living room where everyone was seated among numerous pizza boxes, paper plates, and various drinks.

The next few hours were filled with eating, laughter, and catching up with Carlisle and Esme. Bella was seated on one of the couches with Edward and Esme, fighting to keep her eyes open as the days of traveling and her emotional conversation with Alice and Rose began to catch up with her. She was struggling to focus on the conversation around her when Alice suddenly let loose a massive yawn.

"Sorry," she mumbled, leaning heavily against Jasper's side.

"Is it seriously only 8:30? It feels like midnight," Rose grumbled.

"You _have_ spent the last three days in the car," Esme reminded them gently.

"Right. There's no shame in going to bed before 9," Carlisle teased. "We won't tell anyone."

"Good," Emmett mumbled, standing and helping Rose to her feet. "I'm wiped."

The others concurred and after saying their goodnights to Esme and Carlisle, made their way up to the second floor. Edward and Bella said goodnight to the others at their bedroom doors, continuing on toward the staircase to the third floor. Bella was practically staggering and Edward caught her arm as she almost walked into a small table in the hall.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"I can walk, I'm fine," Bella mumbled even as she stumbled over her own feet.

Edward wrapped his arm around her waist. "Come on, love, up we go," he said, guiding her up the stairs to the third floor. He led her into her room, pulling back the covers before Bella collapsed onto the bed. "Goodnight, Bella," he said softly, pulling the covers up over her and brushing a gentle kiss against her forehead.

"Goodnight, Edward," Bella mumbled sleepily, her eyes already closed.

Edward smiled tenderly at her, gently running the back of his hand down her cheek. "Night, love," he whispered. With one last look, he turned out the light and left Bella's room, gently pulling the door closed behind him.

* * *

When Bella woke up the next morning, she took a moment to appreciate the comfortable bed she was sleeping in and the fact that she wouldn't have to spend the day cooped up in the car for hours at a time. Stretching languidly, she turned her head to the side the check the clock on her bedside table, sitting straight up with a gasp when she saw that it was nearly noon.

She jumped out of the bed and, grabbing some clothes from her suitcase, hurried into the bathroom for a quick shower. Once she was showered and dressed, she made her way downstairs, absently noting that the doors to everyone's bedrooms were open but there wasn't a person in sight.

As she was descending the stairs to the first floor, Bella heard music playing softly. Curiously, she looked around, her eyes quickly finding its source. Edward was seated at the piano, his long fingers flying over the keys as he played a beautiful but unfamiliar piece. Entranced, Bella moved closer and accidentally smashed her foot into the coffee table. "Dammit!"

Her exclamation caught Edward's attention and he quickly turned from the piano and moved to her side. "Are you okay?"

Bella winced as she wiggled her toes. "Nothing broken, I'm fine," she muttered, her cheeks flushing a deep red. She set her injured foot back on the floor and looked up at Edward. "What was that you were playing?" she asked.

"Just, um, something I, uh, something I'm trying to learn," Edward said, not meeting Bella's gaze as he stumbled over his words.

"I'd love to hear it when you're ready," Bella said. "What I heard of it was really pretty."

Edward nodded shortly. "Did I wake you?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

His expression was guilty and Bella hurried to reassure him. "Not at all. I can't believe I slept so late. Where is everyone?"

"Um, Dad's at work, Mom ran to the store for more food – always a necessity when Emmett is home –, Emmett and Jazz went out for a run, and I think Alice said she and Rose has some last minute shopping to do."

Bella's stomach chose that moment to growl and Edward smiled. "You missed breakfast," he observed. "Let's go find some lunch."

Bella followed Edward to the kitchen where he made grilled cheese sandwiches for both of them. As they were finishing up, Edward suggested they take a walk around the property. Not usually one for outdoor adventures, especially during the winter, Bella nevertheless agreed and found herself actually looking forward to their walk as she and Edward bundled up against the cold weather.

The day was clear and cold, not quite freezing but likely only a few degrees above the freezing mark. The Cullens' home was rather secluded, tucked in what almost seemed like the middle of a forest, and Edward led Bella through the trees surrounding the house. They stopped at the stream that Bella had been able to see from her bedroom and Edward also showed her a peaceful meadow where he liked to spend time by himself as well as a large empty patch of land where Edward said his family liked to play baseball or soccer in the warmer months.

They headed back through the more heavily wooded area to get back to the house and at one point came across a large fallen tree trunk. Edward easily climbed across it before reaching back to take Bella's hand and helping her over it. He didn't release her hand once she had cleared the tree and Bella found herself enjoying the feel of her hand in Edward's much larger one immensely as they continued back to the house.

When they returned to the house, they found Emmett and Jasper helping Esme unload groceries from her car. They each loaded up their arms with several of the seemingly endless bags and followed the others into the kitchen.

"So Bellsy," Emmett began as he, Edward, and Bella began unpacking the bags while Esme and Jasper headed out to the car to bring in the last of the bags. "Any chance of you making some of that awesome chili while we're here?"

"I'd love to, Emmett," Bella replied. "I can go out tomorrow and get the stuff I need."

"We have all the stuff you need for it, Bells," Emmett said.

Bella looked at him. "Really? Everything?"

Emmett grinned. "Well, I may have asked mom to pick up some of the stuff we were missing when she was at the store."

"Emmett!" Esme had just reentered the kitchen with the last of the grocery bags and she gently smacked her eldest child upside the head. "You told me Bella asked for those things!"

Bella laughed. "It's okay. I was dying to use your kitchen anyway, Esme. If you don't mind, of course."

"Of course not, sweetie. Just let me know if there's anything you need me to do to help. Carlisle and I have the holiday party at the hospital tonight but that's not for a few hours. Plus, Alice has already informed me that she'll be helping me get ready," she added with a grin.

Bella laughed again. "I'm so glad I'm not the only one she does that to."

Esme laughed as well. "She started doing it as soon as she could talk," she confided. "She used to try to get Emmett and Edward to wear clothes she picked out when they were still in elementary school."

Edward shuddered as he continued putting up the groceries. "Don't remind me."

They continued to chat as they put away the food Esme had bought, moving to the table – and in

Emmett's case the countertop – with glasses of apple cider when they were finished unpacking. They were still hanging out in the kitchen an hour later when Alice and Rose returned from the shops and after safely storing their purchases, the two girls joined them.

Eventually, Bella got started on the chili while Alice went with Esme to prepare her for the party and Rose, Emmett, and Jasper went to play Rock Band. Edward kept Bella company in the kitchen and the two chatted comfortably about nothing much at all while she prepared dinner. When the chili was all but finished and just needed time to simmer on the stove, Bella and Edward went out to the living room to join in the game of Rock Band where they stayed for the next hour or so.

When Esme and Carlisle left for their party, the others filed into the kitchen where they proceeded to stuff themselves with chili and thick slices of bread. Emmett had just finished his third bowl when he glanced at the clock above the stove. "Crap!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

The others only looked up at him, well used to Emmett's random outbursts by this time, and waited for him to continue. "The Grinch is gonna be on in, like, 10 minutes!" he cried.

"I really hope you mean the original one and not that Jim Carrey crap," Edward said mildly as he and Rose collected the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

Emmett gave his younger brother a look that seemed to question his mental competence. "Duh."

Alice suggested they make hot chocolate for their cartoon viewing and Jasper pulled out six mugs while Alice boiled the water and Bella got the packets of chocolate from the cupboard. They took their mugs of hot chocolate and settled down directly in front of the TV – Emmett, Rose, Bella, and Edward on the couch and Alice and Jasper on the floor, Alice seated on Jasper's lap while he leaned against the couch behind him.

Alice squealed excitedly as the title came across the screen and Bella couldn't help the large grin that spread across her face as the cartoon started.

"Dude, how high were these guys when they made this?" Emmett asked as few minutes into the movie.

Alice shrieked, smacking Emmett's thigh. "Dr. Seuss was _not_ high!"

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "Sure, Al," he said. "You keep telling yourself that."

They spent much of the next half-hour watching silently, though they did all jump in to sing along any time "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" was played.

"Christmas Day is in our grasp. So long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand," Alice quoted along with the narrator as the movie came to a close. With a huge sigh, she fell back against Jasper's chest, holding his hand tightly in both of hers. "This movie gets better every time I see it."

"Totally classic," Emmett agreed as he stood from the couch. "I need more hot chocolate. Anyone else?"

"Me, please," Rose said, handing him her mug.

"Anybody else? Bellsy?"

Bella shook her head as she handed Emmett her mug as well. "No thanks, Em," she said. "I think I'm going to head upstairs actually."

"What are you hibernating or something?" Emmett teased. "I can't believe you could still be tired after how late you slept today."

Bella blushed and stuck her tongue out at Emmett. "No, I just wanted to do some reading before bed."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Edward said before Emmett could continue teasing Bella. He stood and offered Bella his hand, passing his own empty mug to his brother as well. "See you guys in the morning."

He and Bella walked to the stairs as Emmett made his way to the kitchen. "Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Gri-inch," Emmett sang as he entered the kitchen.

"The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote," Jasper, Rose, and Alice added from the couch.

"Stink, stank, stunk!" Edward and Bella chimed in from the stairs.

Giggling, they made their way up to the third floor, the sounds of their family following them as Emmett protested Alice's choice of "The Nutcracker" as their next movie. "Sounds like we got out just in time," Edward said.

"Mmm, an Emmett-Alice standoff. I'll take Pride and Prejudice," Bella agreed.

"I have a ton of stuff if you want to borrow anything," Edward said as they reached Bella's room.

Bella smiled. "I'll take you up on that before we leave," she assured him. "But I'm feeling kind of nostalgic tonight."

Edward grinned. "Fair enough. Though I imagine you could recite that book from memory by now."

Bella blushed. "Maybe," she mumbled.

Edward smiled again. "Goodnight, Bella," he said, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

"Goodnight, Edward," Bella said, her blush deepening. She stood in her doorway, waiting until Edward had entered his own bedroom before finally closing her door and leaning against it. During the day, while she had been so busy and surrounded by other people, she hadn't had time to think about her feelings for Edward or what, if anything, she was going to do about them. But now, alone in her room, with the object of her thoughts mere feet away in the next room, her mind was off and running.

_Stop_, she told herself, trying to rein in her thoughts. I_t was just a kiss on the cheek, after all. Friends do that all the time. This is not the time to be thinking about that. _Shaking her head as if to clear it, she pushed off of the door and made her way to the dresser, pulling out her pajamas and quickly changing into them. She pulled her copy of Pride and Prejudice from her bag and settled herself on the windowseat, a blue throw from the chair tucked around her.

She read for awhile, easily becoming lost in the familiar world of the Bennett sisters, Mr. Darcy, and Mr. Bingham. When her eyelids began to droop, she set the book in her lap and rested her head against the window next to her, staring out over the beautiful, woodsy landscape.

It was so peaceful and Bella found her thoughts drifting once again. This time, however, they went to Charlie and the Christmases they had had together. They really hadn't celebrated Christmas in any big way after Renee had left, but Charlie had always made an effort, buying Bella presents and taking her out for dinner on Christmas Day.

Charlie had never been much for conversation when he was alive, but for some reason, Bella felt the need to talk to him right then. Focusing her attention on the stars in the clear sky above her, she began to speak softly.

"Hi, dad. It's, um, it's me, Bella." She laughed self-consciously. "But I guess you know that already, since, um, yeah, who else would call you dad." She stopped, realizing she was babbling, and took a deep breath. "I just wanted to say that, well, I miss you, dad. And I wish you were here right now. I think you'd really like everybody.

"Carlisle and Esme are really great and easy to talk to. Emmett would watch sports with you like I never did and Jasper's calm and quiet enough to go fishing with you. And I know Rose would definitely love to do some work on your cruiser." She smiled. "And something tells me Alice would have you wrapped around her little finger."

She paused again and sighed. "And Edward. He's, well, he's Edward. He looks out for me and generally keeps me from tripping over my own feet. And he likes a lot of the same stuff I do – we can just sit for hours and read together without even needing to talk. You'd like that," she added with a small smile. "And when we do talk, I know that I can talk to him about anything.

"He's just, he's there for me. Always. And he's smart and funny and sweet. He's really just an amazing guy. You'd really like him, dad," she said softly. "I do."

She stopped talking for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. "Well, you never were one for big emotional conversations. But I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing okay. I miss you and I'm always going to, but I'm okay. I have some really wonderful people who love me, dad, so I don't want you to worry about me, okay?"

She paused, blinking away the tears that had suddenly appeared in her eyes before she continued. "Goodnight, dad. I love you."

* * *

On Tuesday, Esme cajoled Edward into playing Christmas carols on the piano while she, Bella, and Emmett made Christmas cookies and fudge. Rose, Jasper, Alice, and Carlisle had gone in search of the perfect Christmas tree with very specific requests and requirements from both Esme and Emmett. The delicious smells wafting through the warm kitchen accompanied by the sound of the beautiful music coming from the front room and the anticipation of the soon to be arriving tree caused Bella to really feel the Christmasy vibe for the first time in a very long time.

That night after dinner, the eight of them gathered in the living room to play Trivial Pursuit while "A Christmas Story" played on the TV in the background. They had split into four teams of two, though Rose commented that she was the only member of her team as Emmett's attention was continually focused on the movie instead of the game at hand.

The game lasted several hours as they sat around drinking eggnog and spiced cider and eating fresh Christmas cookies, and it was well after midnight when Carlisle and Esme finally got their last piece and won the game. As a result, it was close to 11 the next morning before all of the house's inhabitants were totally awake and active.

Late that afternoon, the eight of them gathered in the front room to decorate the Christmas tree. Edward was freed from piano duty and instead, Esme turned on a local radio station that was playing nothing but Christmas carols.

After Carlisle and Rose had put up the lights, everyone started adding ornaments from the numerous boxes spread across the floor. They had been carrying on in this manner for about 20 minutes when a song started on the radio, immediately catching Emmett's attention.

"All right!" he whooped. "The Snoopy song!"

Bella smiled at the familiar tune. It had been one of her favorites as a child but it had been years since she had last heard it. As she watched, Alice unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and held it out to Emmett who wrapped it around his neck with a flourish. He then straddled the arm of one of the couches and pretended he was flying.

To Bella's surprise, Edward almost immediately sat down on the other arm of the couch and mimicked Emmett's movements. "They've been doing this since they were little boys," Esme whispered to Bella, a fond smile on her face as she watched her sons' antics. "Edward was younger so he had to play the Red Baron. It used to give him fits that Emmett never let him be Snoopy."

Bella giggled as she watched the two boys act out the song in its entirety. When it was over, she couldn't help clapping. Edward grinned, his cheeks faintly flushed, while Emmett gave a sweeping bow.

Emmett then handed Alice her scarf and everyone returned to decorating the tree. Almost half an hour later, nearly all of the ornaments had been hung when Rose triumphantly pulled a medium sized box from the bottom of one of the larger boxes of ornaments. She turned to hand it to Alice but the pixie shook her head, motioning to Bella instead. Rose grinned and turned to Bella, handing her the box. Bella was confused until she opened the box and found a simple but gorgeous crystal star nestled in among the cotton packing.

"Youngest sister puts it up, Bells," Emmett told her with a grin.

Bella had to swallow hard at the sudden rush of emotion the simple gesture and words had evoked in her and she nodded, not quite trusting her voice yet.

Emmett crouched down and Edward lifted Bella onto Emmett's shoulders. Bella was certain she would have fallen or at least swayed when Emmett stood if not for Edward's firm, steadying hand resting on her lower back. Emmett moved closer to the tree so that Bella could reach up and put the star on top.

"Perfect," Esme said with a smile as the two stepped back from the tree.

"Nice job, Bellsy," Emmett said, reaching up to high five Bella as she remained perched on his shoulders.

Naturally, the momentum made Bella's balance wobble quite a bit but Edward was immediately behind her once more steadying her. "You got her, Eddie?" Emmett asked.

"I do." Emmett leaned back slightly and Bella slid off of his shoulders and into Edward's waiting arms.

"Thanks," she said, a deep blush coloring her cheeks at the awareness of his arms around her waist and the closeness of their bodies.

Edward smiled. "It's perfect, Bella," he said, turning her around to face the tree. His hands lingered on her hips a moment too long and Bella had to fight the urge to lean back into his arms. Quickly banishing the thought from her mind, she turned her full attention to the tree before them.

Jasper leaned over and plugged in the tree and Alice squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "It's perfect," she said. Bella silently agreed. The large tree was full of ornaments both store bought and hand made and the lights had been arranged so that when Bella set the star on top of the tree, one of the lights behind it illuminated it brilliantly.

They stood admiring the tree for a few moments before Carlisle asked if everyone was ready for dinner. Getting a unanimous yes, he ordered a massive amount of Chinese food for dinner, since he and Esme would be spending a good part of the next morning cooking Christmas dinner. They planned to eat on paper plates and use the plastic utensils that came with the food to avoid putting anything into the dishwasher, which would no doubt be packed after the following day's food preparation.

Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Edward, and Bella were in the dining room when they heard the doorbell. "We'll get it," Alice called back. Moments later, they heard a loud squeal and Alice came dashing into the dining room, eyes shining. "It's snowing!" she said excitedly. "We're going to have a white Christmas!"

Jasper came walking into the room a few seconds later, laden down with bags of food. "Don't worry about me," he said mildly. "I got it."

Alice grimaced guiltily as she and Carlisle moved forward to help Jasper with the bags. "Sorry, baby," she said apologetically.

"I know," Jasper said with an easy smile. "It's snowing." He kissed the top of Alice's head before moving to the table to help lay out all of the food.

After dinner, everyone grabbed a mug of hot chocolate and headed into the living room to watch _It's a Wonderful Life_. "Another Christmas tradition," Edward explained to Bella as he sat down next to her on one of the couches.

"Yeah, I think I know all the words by heart," Emmett added from where he and Rose were cuddled up together on the loveseat.

"I've never really seen it," Bella admitted.

Emmett's jaw dropped. "You what? Okay, you. Sit. Now."

Bella hid a smile. "Emmett, I'm already sitting," she pointed out.

"Okay, whatever, but just watch. Dude, I can't believe you've never seen it!"

Rose smacked him in the arm. "I seem to remember the first time I ever saw it was when you brought me home for Christmas four years ago," she said.

"Oh yeah," Emmett said thoughtfully. "Sorry, Bells."

Bella shrugged and Rose smiled sweetly up at Emmett. "Good. Now shut up, it's starting."

They were all quickly engrossed in the movie and aside from a few comments here and there, the living room was mostly silent. About halfway through the movie, Alice shifted slightly from her position against Jasper's side to grab the blanket that sat on the couch behind them. She glanced around the room as she spread the blanket across their laps, smiling at the sight of one pair in particular.

She caught Esme's eye and, using her eyes only, subtly motioned toward Bella and Edward on the couch. They were snuggled together on the couch, Bella's head on Edward's shoulder and Edward's arm draped across Bella's shoulders as he wrapped the two of them together in the warm cocoon of the blanket.

As the end of the movie drew near, Bella found herself leaning forward slightly on the couch, anxious to see how things would play out for George and his family. She sank back against Edward with a relieved and happy sigh as the townspeople began to flood the Bailey house.

"To my big brother George. The richest man in town."

Bella felt goosebumps rise on her arms even as she blinked back the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes as George's brother, Harry, proposed a toast to his big brother. Edward hugged her closer to his side for a moment as the cast began singing "Auld Lang Syne" and the movie faded to its credits.

"What'd you think, Bellsy?" Emmett asked from across the room as the credits rolled.

Bella sniffed. "I loved it," she said honestly.

"So my favorite Christmas movie," Alice agreed from her seat next to Jasper, the tears still running down her cheeks.

"Okay, well, I think it's time for bed for us," Esme said.

"Yes, I believe we both have an early morning appointment with a turkey," Carlisle said as he stood and helped his wife to her feet.

"Come on," Rose said, hauling Emmett to his feet. "You know Santa won't come if you're still awake."

Edward slowly disentangled himself from Bella and stood, beginning to gather up the empty mugs. Jasper joined him in collection and Alice bounced over to the couch to sit next to Bella as the guys carried the mugs into the kitchen and Emmett, Rose, Esme, and Carlisle made their way upstairs to bed.

Edward volunteered to clean the mugs and sent Jasper back to Alice while he cleaned them. A few minutes later, he had washed and dried the mugs and he returned to the living room and Bella. However, when he stepped into the living room, he found it empty.

Alice was seated on the arm of the couch Edward and Bella had previously occupied and at Edward's questioning look, she gestured toward the front porch with her head. She bounced up from the couch and gave him a hug goodnight. "Trust your heart, Edward," she whispered in his ear. Pulling back, she smiled at her brother before thrusting a blanket into his hands and skipping up the stairs.

Edward looked after her curiously a moment before shrugging and walking out onto the porch where he found Bella seated on the porch swing, staring out at the falling snow. "I thought you hated the cold and wet," he said with a smile.

Bella smiled back. "As long as I don't have to go out in it and can just sit here and watch, it's actually kind of pretty," she admitted.

Edward sat down on the swing next to her, tucking the blanket around their bodies. Bella snuggled closer to him and Edward wrapped his arm around her with a contented sigh. They sat there in comfortable silence for awhile before Edward finally spoke.

"You all right?" he asked softly.

Bella was well aware he was talking about more than the weather and she took a moment before replying. "Surprisingly, yeah. It's not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Being surrounded by the people I love definitely helps, you know?"

Edward smiled gently. "Holidays must be tough."

Bella was quiet a moment. "They are, I guess, but that's not really it. It's more this," she said, gesturing widely to her surroundings. Edward inclined his head, silently asking her to continue, and she struggled to explain. "Sometimes I think the hardest part is thinking about all of the things that happen in the world, the things that happen to me, that my dad will never know about. Knowing that he'll never know this wonderful family that I have here. I wish you all could have met him."

"I wish we could have, too, Bella. I think we'd all like to thank him for the incredible daughter he raised." Bella blushed even as she rolled her eyes at Edward's words and he continued before she could come up with a way to deflect the compliment. "But I know that wherever he is, Charlie is proud of the amazing woman you are."

Tears stung Bella's eyes and she blinked them back. "Thank you," she said quietly.

Bella settled back against Edward's side and the pair lapsed back into silence for another few moments while Bella got up the courage to ask Edward something that had been on her mind for most of their trip.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" she finally asked.

She felt Edward nod and she continued. "I was thinking of renting a car while we're here this week and driving down to Portland." She stopped and took a breath, continuing in almost a whisper. "I know five hours is kind of a long drive but, um, I was wondering if you would come with me."

Edward didn't hesitate. "Of course."

"Thank you," Bella whispered again. Edward hugged her tightly against his side in response.

Edward wasn't sure how long they sat out there wrapped in the blanket together, but eventually, he noticed that Bella had begun to shiver next to him.

"You must be freezing. Come on, let's get you inside before you turn into an icicle, love." The endearment slipped past Edward's lips before he could stop it and he froze. He had called Bella "love" before, of course, but he'd never done it when she could hear him and he had no idea what her reaction would be.

But Bella only smiled, reaching up to take Edward's offered hand and rising to stand next to him.

As Edward locked the door behind them, he seemed to come to a decision within himself. "Bella, can I play something for you?" he asked hesitantly.

Bella smiled. "I would love that, Edward." She glanced toward the stairway. "But won't you wake everyone up?"

Edward smiled back. "Nah. They're used to it by now. Besides, most of them could sleep through World War Three on their front door step."

Shrugging, Bella followed Edward toward the piano. She was about to go sit on one of the couches in the room, but Edward caught her hand and tugged her down next to him on the piano bench. "Best seat in the house," he teased, his eyes sparkling.

Edward took a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment, giving Bella the opportunity to study the man beside her. The Christmas tree lights were the only lights in the room and they cast an ethereal glow to his handsome face, making his high cheekbones and strong jaw even more defined than usual.

Edward crossed his fingers internally before counting off in his head and beginning to play. The notes flowed from the piano, the light and innocent melody reminding Bella of her childhood before Renee had left, when everything had been new and wonderful and sadness something she rarely, if ever, thought about.

The piece suddenly transitioned into a darker, angstier sound and Bella found herself moving closer to Edward's side. Then the third movement began, warm and comforting, and the tenseness left Bella's shoulders as her entire body unconsciously relaxed ever so slightly and she looked up at Edward. His face was serene, his eyes closed and the slightest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

The piece built to a beautiful crescendo, coming to a smooth, sweet ending moments later. Bella was speechless for a moment as the remnants of the piece seemed to wash over her. "That was gorgeous," she whispered reverently when she was finally able to speak. "What's it called?"

Edward smiled. "I'm glad you like it. It doesn't really have a name, not yet. But I'm open to any suggestions you may have. After all, you inspired it."

Understanding dawned and Bella's jaw dropped. "You mean you _wrote_ that?" She had known, thanks to their innumerable conversations, that Edward had played the piano, but she'd had no idea he could play like _this_.

"When did you even find the time?" she asked.

Edward smiled shyly. "I go over to the music school when I have a longer break between classes. They let me use one of the practice rooms there."

"Edward, that was amazing."

"Thank you," he said quietly, the shy smile still on his face. He and Bella sat staring at each other silently for a moment until Edward finally rose from the piano bench. "I think it's probably time for us to get to bed," he said, offering her his hand. "Christmas morning starts early with Emmett."

Bella grinned, taking Edward's hand and rising to her feet as well. "I can only imagine."

Edward unplugged the Christmas tree and turned out the rest of the lights, offering Bella his hand once more to lead her up the stairs. They stopped outside of Bella's room and Edward belatedly realized that he was still holding her hand. "Well, I guess I'll see you bright and early," he said.

Bella smiled. "Sounds like it. Goodnight, Edward."

Edward leaned forward to kiss her cheek but Bella turned her head at the last moment and Edward's lips brushed softly against Bella's own.

"Sweet dreams, Bella," Edward replied softly.

Blushing madly, Bella walked into her bedroom and shut the door softly behind her. In a daze, she changed into her gray and purple checked pajama pants and a matching camisole and washed up for bed. She climbed into bed, snuggling under the warm comforter as she tried to calm her still racing heart and mind. Her body, however, showed no signs of listening to her and with a groan, she picked up her iPod from the bedside table and stuck the earphones in her ears, turning the device on and hitting "Shuffle Songs." She settled back against the pillows, pulling the comforter up over her shoulders, smiling to herself as a familiar song by The Sundance Kids began to play.

"_Once again I have melted in your green eyes  
__Been stolen and captured by a glance.  
__Once again I have been taken  
Away from where I'm standing to  
__A place where I forget about me._

_And you find me there,  
__And you wait for me to come to  
__And smiling back you stare.  
__You show me that everything will be fine._

_Once again my mind has wandered into yours.  
__Dreaming of how things could be."_

Bella sighed, pulling her headphones out of her ears and shutting off her iPod. Great. Now even inanimate objects were telling her she needed to sort out her feelings for Edward. Setting her iPod aside on the table, she sat up in bed, finally allowing the thoughts she had been trying to hold off since the morning after her conversation with Rose and Alice flood her mind. Sleep didn't appear to be coming anytime soon anyway, so she figured she might as well give in to her tangled thoughts for the moment.

Rose had been right – before they had even been properly introduced, Edward had been looking out for her. Whether it had been treating a minor burn on her hand, taking care of her during and after a terrifying rollercoaster ride, nursing her back to health from a serious flu, or protecting her from a frightening creep at a club, he had been by her side.

Alice had been right, too, she admitted to herself. She truly was happiest when she was around Edward. Her self-imposed separation from him had been one of the hardest times of her life and she knew without a doubt that she never wanted to go through that again.

What she had told Charlie the other night was true as well. Edward was always there for her. And somehow, she knew he always would be.

The feelings he evoked in her were terrifying and wonderful and completely unlike anything she had ever felt before. She felt safe with him, but it was more than that – she felt safe when she was around any of her best friends. With Edward she felt complete for the first time in her life, like he had filled a hole in her that she hadn't even realized was there.

She and Edward had a connection that was both emotional and physical. From their first meeting, she had felt the tingles that just the brush of Edward's hand could send through her entire body. And that kiss. Okay, so it hadn't really been a kiss, just the simplest brush of their lips against each other's. But it had been enough to send pleasant shivers through her entire body.

Did he feel the same way about her? Or did he just see her as a friend? Maybe what had almost happened between them at Halloween had just been a one-time thing, maybe he had just gotten caught up in the moment. After all, it wasn't like he had ever brought it up afterward.

Finally, Bella threw her covers back in frustration. Sleep would not be coming any time soon and sitting there in her bed with her thoughts continuing down this path was only going to drive her crazy. She decided to go down to the kitchen for a glass of water and maybe stop in Carlisle's library on the way back up. Sitting on the window seat reading while the snow continued to fall outside should be just the thing to ease her mind enough to let her fall asleep.

Bella quietly opened her door and stepped out into the dark hallway, pulling her bedroom door shut behind her. She stood a moment, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, before realizing that it wasn't as dark as she had expected. Edward's bedroom door was ajar and light from his room spilled into the hallway in a thin beam of light that ended at the very tips of Bella's toes.

Bella hesitated a second, looking to the stairs before quickly coming to a decision and making her way to Edward's door. When she reached it, she paused a moment, deciding to peek in first without knocking to make sure she wouldn't be waking him.

She immediately saw that waking him would not be an issue. He was pacing back and forth, dressed in plaid pajama pants and a faded t-shirt, mumbling to himself as he ran his hand nervously through his hair.

His thoughts were running wild, consumed by the girl he thought to be sleeping in the next room. That quick brush of their lips had sent shockwaves through him. Had Bella felt it, too? And she had asked him to come to Portland with her. Did that mean anything? If it had just been a friend thing, surely she would have asked Alice or Rose, right?

He groaned to himself. These thoughts were getting him nowhere and he knew the only way he would get any peace of mind would be to talk to Bella about what was between them. But could he do that? He had promised himself that he wouldn't push anything with her, that if anything were to start between them, he would let her take the first step. But was that even possible anymore? She had turned her face to his. Had she done it on purpose? Had she wanted him to kiss her? Was she now waiting for him to make the first move after all? Could he take this risk?

A soft noise at his door pulled him from his jumbled thoughts and he turned to the door, his hand still buried deep in his hair as he tugged on it in frustration. Almost as if his thoughts had conjured her, Bella stood hesitantly in his doorway. His mouth went dry and for a moment, all he could do was stare.

"Sorry," Bella said shyly. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd see if you were still awake."

Edward shook his head. "I couldn't sleep, either. Please, come in."

Bella inched the door the rest of the way open and entered the room, shutting the door quietly behind her and stopping just short of where Edward had stopped his pacing. "So, um, why couldn't you sleep?" Edward asked.

"I had a lot on my mind," she said honestly. "What about you?"

"Yeah, me, too." They both fell silent for a moment as their gazes shifted between their feet and the other's face.

"Bella-"

"Edward-"

They spoke at the same time and stopped, smiling sheepishly at each other. "You go first," Bella suggested.

Edward grimaced momentarily and sighed. "I guess, I, um, well, I was thinking about Christmas presents," he said slowly.

Bella smiled. "Let me guess – Emmett's contagious and you just can't wait to get downstairs tomorrow morning."

Edward shook his head, a weak smile quickly passing across his lips. "Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of gifts people give themselves and what I really want for myself." Bella tilted her head questioningly and Edward continued. "My Christmas gift to myself is to stop being such a wuss and tell you the truth."

Edward took a deep breath and offered a quick prayer up to whoever might be listening before he began to speak once more. "I've been attracted to you from the moment we met. When I first saw you, dancing around in your pajamas and making breakfast, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. And then I was lucky enough to get to be your friend and over time, I got to know the incredible woman behind that beautiful face. And I fell in love with her. With _you_. I love you, Bella."

Edward's heart sank as Bella remained silent and he hurriedly continued. "I'm sorry. I understand that you don't feel the same way and if you want me to, I will walk away and never bother you again. And I know I'm being incredibly selfish, but I just couldn't live like this anymore, without you knowing how I feel and-"

Bella's lips against his effectively stopped Edward's nervous babbling.

The kiss was quick, only the softest pressure of Bella's lips against Edward's, but neither could deny the charge that once again ran through their bodies at the contact.

"Please don't walk away from me. I don't want any part of a future that doesn't include you," Bella whispered.

There was a mixture of hope and confusion in Edward's eyes as he looked down at her and with a sad smile at him, Bella walked over to his bed and sat down, one leg folded beneath her, the other hanging off the side of the bed. "Not that I deserve it," she muttered to herself. Now Edward's expression was one of full-blown confusion and Bella sighed. "I can't believe that even after all these months, you can't see that it truly is me and not you that is the problem," she said.

"Bella, I-"

Bella held up her hand, silently asking Edward to stop. "Please just let me say all of this before I lose my nerve." Edward nodded and Bella continued.

"I know Alice told you about my relationship with my parents. Like how when I was 10, my mom just decided she didn't want to be with my dad and me anymore. While I listened from the top of the stairs, Renee told Charlie that this just wasn't the way she had imagined her life turning out. She didn't really want to be tied down to a marriage and a mortgage and a kid – it was smothering her. Dad's pleas and my tears had no effect whatsoever on her. She walked out that door with her suitcases and we didn't hear a word from her for the next six years. Charlie tried to track her down, but she never seemed to stay in one place long enough. For awhile, we had no idea if she was even still alive."

Bella paused to take a breath and she continued in a quiet voice. "I wasn't entirely honest with Alice when I told her about all of this. The truth is, we didn't get a letter from Renee when she got remarried. One day, she and her new husband just showed up at our house." Bella winced. "They acted like the newlyweds they were and I could see how much it was killing Charlie. It was awful. Renee kept saying she knew how excited I must be to get to leave town soon and at least I wouldn't make her mistake – marry a local guy, get pregnant, and get stuck there. With anyone else, you'd say they were being deliberately cruel. But with Renee, it really just never occurred to her to think about anyone's feelings but her own. It never would have even crossed her mind that she was rubbing her happiness in Charlie's face or pushing the fact that I would be leaving home soon and he would be all alone." Bella grimaced. "In fact, she probably thought she was being a great mom by giving me that 'advice.'"

Bella was silent for a few moments and Edward finally spoke. "Bella? I'm not sure I understand."

Bella sniffed, blinking back tears as she looked directly at Edward. "Don't you see?" she asked brokenly. "After Renee left, I watched my dad die a little bit every day until there was nothing left of him. What if I learned that from her? What if it's genetic? I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you, Edward."

To say Edward was stunned would be putting it mildly. _This_ was the real reason she had pulled away from him? Not because she was afraid of what he might do but because she was afraid that _she_ might hurt _him_?

Edward sat down on the bed next to her, mimicking her seated position as he took her hands in his.

"Bella." Bella reluctantly raised her head and Edward felt his heart break at the tears that were now streaking her face. "Oh, sweetheart," he said softly, reaching over to gently brush her tears away with his fingers. When her tears appeared to have stopped, Edward took her hands again.

"Bella, when your mother left, you stepped in and took care of your father, even though you were only 10 years old. You were prepared to give up a college scholarship and stay home just so you could continue to take care of him. Ever since I've known you, I have seen you taking care of everyone else around you, no matter what you may want for yourself." He shook his head. "Your mom may be self centered and care only about her own personal happiness, but that's not you. That could never be you."

"But how can you be sure?" Bella whispered.

"Because I know you, Bella," Edward replied. "Because I love you." Bella shivered at the raw emotion in Edward's voice and she squeezed his hands gently in her own.

"You constantly put aside your own needs for everyone else," Edward continued, "and I just, I want to be there for you. I want to be the person that puts you first, always, if you'll let me.

Bella took a deep, shuddering breath and looked down at their joined hands sitting in her lap as a million thoughts assaulted her brain.

Renee walking out on her and Charlie, Charlie's drinking and depression after Renee had shown up with her new husband. Meeting Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett and feeling like part of a family again for the first time in a long time. The pain, feeling like her entire world had fallen apart when she got the call telling her Charlie had been killed, and the love and support her little family had been surrounding her with ever since. Meeting Edward and all their conversations, naps, movie dates, reading afternoons, everything they had shared together that had become her world in such a short time. And front and center of all of these memories was her most cherished one, one that had happened only moments earlier, Edward saying over and over again, "I love you, Bella."

And suddenly, she saw the truth that she had been hiding from for months.

She loved him. Pure and simple, she was completely and hopelessly in love with Edward. And she knew with an absolute certainty that she had never felt before that she would never do anything to harm him. In fact, she knew she would do anything and everything in her power to make him happy. No matter what the DNA might say, she was nothing like her mother. She loved him and that was all that mattered.

Bella had been quiet a few moments now and Edward was starting to get a little worried. "Bella?"

"You're right," she said softly. "You're right, Alice is right, Rose is right. Everyone else is right, I just couldn't see it until now." She shook her head. "I don't know what the issues were between them and I don't know why Renee did what she did to my father. All I know is that I would never do that to you." She looked Edward straight in the eye. "I love you far too much for that."

Edward's eyes were bright. "Say it again," he whispered.

Bella smiled. "I love you, Edward."

Edward leaned forward, cupping Bella's face in his hands and looking at her, silently asking her permission. Bella nodded almost imperceptibly as she leaned forward to meet his lips with her own. Edward's lips brushed hers, tentatively at first, and then more firmly. He ran his tongue lightly across her lower lip and Bella parted her lips readily, intensifying the kiss as their mouths fused together, moving as one.

When they parted, Edward leaned back, his hands still cupping Bella's face, as the two smiled giddily at each other. Already missing the feeling of Edward's lips, Bella quickly leaned forward and recaptured his lips with her own. This kiss was tender, slow and searching as they began to learn the intricacies of each other's mouths, and Bella tangled her hair in Edward's hair, pulling him ever closer. Edward's hands dropped from Bella's face as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against his chest.

His lips left Bella's, trailing slowly up her jawline to the tender hollow behind her ear, eliciting a low moan from Bella. Her dreams had definitely not done him justice. One of her hands rested on his shoulder, the other on his waist, and she slowly slipped the latter beneath his t-shirt, delighting in the shiver that ran through Edward's body at her touch as she ran her fingers up his side. Without conscious thought, her other hand also slipped beneath Edward's shirt and she quickly tugged the garment up and over his head.

Edward growled softly, trailing his lips down the column of Bella's throat and across her collarbone. His hands slipped beneath Bella's camisole, slowly running his hands up her sides, bunching the top up and raising it with his hands. His hands came to Bella's breasts and he gently cupped them with his hands, thoroughly enjoying the weight of them in his hands. Bella sighed softly, leaning further into Edward's touch as his thumbs began to trace gentle circles on her breasts.

His fingers shifted slightly and he gently dragged his thumbs across her nipples. Bella gasped, reaching up to cup her hands behind Edward's head as she pulled him to her for a wildly passionate kiss. Bella moaned into his mouth, her entire body responding to his touch as he continued stroking her breasts, and Edward smiled against her lips before pulling back.

His hands slid back down to the hem of her camisole and he met Bella's gaze, making sure that this was what she wanted. Her eyes dark and clouded with a look Edward had never seen there before, Bella nodded, arching her back slightly as she raised her arms up above her head.

Edward quickly removed her top, tossing it haphazardly over his shoulder, his attention fully focused on the woman before him. He kept his eyes locked on her face as he leaned forward to kiss her again and Bella melted against him, shivering pleasantly at the feeling of their bare chests pressing together as Edward pulled her closer.

Bella's head fell back as Edward's lips once again returned to her neck and she gripped his hips tightly as she felt the heat building low in her belly and beginning to throb between her legs. Edward pulled back slightly, his eyes traveling across Bella's bare chest. "Beautiful," he murmured before leaning forward and gently swirling his tongue around her left breast. He reached her nipple and took it fully in his mouth, one hand fondling her neglected breast while his other hand was on her hip, pulling her to him with bruising force. Bella mewled softly, the sound going straight to Edward's already prominent erection, which was by now straining almost painfully against his pajama pants.

He repeated his actions on her other breast before moving his lips between her breasts and beginning to trail gentle kisses down her chest to her stomach, using his weight to ease her onto her back on the bed. He swirled his tongue in her bellybutton, making her giggle, before he pulled back to meet her gaze once more.

"Yes," Bella whispered breathlessly in answer to the unspoken question in his eyes.

Edward hooked his fingers in the sides of her pajama pants and gently slid them down her legs, dropping them at the foot of the bed without taking his eyes off of her. At the sight of the underwear she wore, Edward couldn't help smiling to himself. Black cotton boy shorts with a small pink bow on the waistband. That was Bella all over, wasn't it? Both innocent and naturally sexy without any pretense.

Edward slowly slid the boyshorts down her legs, dropping them on the floor once they were fully off. He looked up, meeting Bella's gaze with a wicked smile, before he began to trail soft kisses up the inside of her left leg, his hand gently massaging her right leg in an upward direction as well.

He gently dragged his tongue down one hipbone and up the other one. The ache between Bella's legs was by now nearly unbearable and she shifted, her hips thrusting slightly forward. "Please," she whispered.

Edward trailed his fingers gently down her hipbones, dancing softly over her skin until Bella saw him slide one finger into her center.

Bella drew in a sharp breath at the new sensation and Edward immediately stilled. "Bella?" he said, the concern evident in his voice.

"Don't stop," she rasped. "Please don't stop."

The feeling was different, but not altogether unpleasant, she decided to herself as Edward added another finger. Edward curled his fingers and began to stroke her and Bella moaned as her hips jerked forward. Nope, definitely not unpleasant. Then Edward's thumb began circling her clit and all coherent thought flew out of her head.

The pressure built to an almost unendurable level and Bella felt her legs begin to jerk slightly as she felt all control over her body slipping away.

"Just let go, Bella," Edward murmured against her stomach. A new sensation joined the numerous others that were already driving Bella out of her mind and distantly she realized that Edward's talented fingers had been replaced by his equally gifted tongue.

Without warning, Edward sucked harshly on Bella's clit and she came undone, her back arching off of the bed as she cried his name.

Edward's fingers continued to stroke Bella gently as she rode out her orgasm and when she was finished, he moved up next to her on the bed, pulling her into his arms. She held onto him for dear life as her body trembled from the after effects of her orgasm.

Eventually, her body calmed and she let out a shuddering gasp. "So that's what the big deal is all about," she murmured against Edward's chest.

Edward laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Are you all right?" he asked softly as he stroked her hair.

Bella looked up at him. "Mmmm, never better," she answered honestly. "Thank you." Edward smiled, kissing her forehead once more and pulling her tightly against his body.

_Time to repay the favor_, Bella thought with a wicked smile. She gently trailed her fingers across Edward's chest, delighting in the feel of Edward's muscles contracting beneath her touch. Deciding to try what he had done to her, she ran her tongue around his nipple and then dragged her teeth gently across it, smiling against Edward's skin as a groan rumbled in his chest.

Bella shifted so that she was kneeling between Edward's spread legs and leaned over him. She trailed her fingers down his sides as she continued kissing his chest, slowly moving her lips down to the top of his pants. Sliding her fingers beneath the waistband, she slowly dragged his pants down his legs, dropping them on the floor before turning her full focus back to him.

She paused a moment, taking in the sight of a fully naked and aroused Edward, his prominent erection standing proudly before her. She looked up, meeting Edward's gaze as she began sliding her hands up his legs, applying enough pressure to make the muscles in his legs tense. When she reached the top of his legs, she slowly reached over to Edward's erection, one hand encircling it as she began to stroke him gently.

A low gasp came from Edward as he thrust forward in Bella's hands as her hand traveled up and down his shaft. Praying to herself that she was doing it right, she leaned forward, replacing her hand with her mouth. Edward growled, his hips jerking forward violently at the feel of Bella's warm mouth enveloping his cock.

"Oh God, Bella," he groaned as her tongue trailed down his length. "So good." Bella increased the pressure of her mouth and Edward felt himself beginning to lose control. "Bella," he groaned, dropping his hands down to her shoulders to still her.

Bella raised her head to meet Edward's gaze, her expression confused and a bit embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I was doing it wrong, wasn't I? Oh God."

"What? Bella, no!" Edward sat up, pulling Bella up so that they were facing each other once more. "Bella, that was amazing. You are definitely not doing anything wrong." Bella blushed even as a small smile crossed her lips. "I just want to be inside you," he added in a whisper, trailing his tongue along her earlobe before kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear. When he pulled back, Bella was still blushing but she nodded.

Edward gently shifted her onto her back before leaning down to kiss her once more. When they separated, he reached a hand out to his bedside table. "Edward." Bella put a hand on Edward's arm to stop him. He looked down at her questioningly and she smiled. "You don't have to," she told him. "I'm on the pill and, well, I've never done this before." Her eyes were trusting without a hint of uncertainty in them and Edward smiled tenderly, leaning forward to kiss her once more.

When he drew back, he met her gaze with his own. Never taking his eyes from hers, he reached down between them and gently shifted himself to enter her. Bella gripped Edward's shoulders as he entered her, her fingernails digging into his skin as he stretched her and filled her completely.

Bella couldn't stop a gasp from escaping her lips and Edward froze. "Bella?" he asked worriedly. She met his anxious gaze and he felt his stomach drop at the sheen of tears he saw in her eyes. "Oh God, Bella, I'm so sorry," he began.

Bella caught his face between her hands, forcing him to look her in the eye once more. "No, Edward, please," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just, I've just never…this feels so _right_." She struggled for the words to explain the feeling of completion that encompassed her entire being at that moment.

Edward's eyes were soft as he leaned down to kiss her sweetly. "It's perfect," he whispered in agreement.

He stayed still, letting Bella adjust until she began to rock her hips against his. Edward rolled his hips forward as began thrusting gently. Instinctively, Bella moved her hips up to meet Edward's, meeting him thrust for thrust.

Edward increased his pace, pulling out almost completely before thrusting back in, and Bella moaned as she brought her hips up to meet his over and over. Edward slipped a hand down between their bodies, his thumb finding Bella's clit and beginning to circle it with his thumb. He felt himself losing his control and he pressed on her clit as he again took one of her breasts in his mouth, roughly circling her nipple with his tongue.

"Edward! Unh, Edward!" Bella cried, her nails gliding roughly down Edward's back as her body tensed.

Edward's thumb sped up and moments later he felt her walls clenched around him, pulling him over the edge with her as he groaned her name. "Bella. Oh fuck! Bella!"

He collapsed against her, their bodies slick with sweat, burying his face against her neck as he tried to catch his breath. After a moment, he shifted himself, pulling out of her and rolling onto his side. He wrapped his arms around her, gently tugging her against his side as he kissed her forehead.

Bella snuggled against him, one hand trailing lazily up and down his back as she calmed down. "That was incredible," she finally murmured, tipping her head back to look up at Edward.

"_You're_ incredible," he replied, leaning down to kiss her gently.

Bella sighed against his lips as she kissed him back. Her body was exhausted and she would probably be sore in the morning but what she had said to Edward earlier remained true. She had never in her life been better than she was at that moment.

They lay there together for a little while, exchanging sweet kisses and talking softly as they held onto each other. Eventually, Edward shifted back slightly from Bella. "Believe me, I really don't want to do this, but would you excuse me for a moment?"

Bella nodded, smiling as Edward kissed her once more before reaching down to the floor and picking up his pajama pants. Pants in hand, he made his way into his attached bathroom. Bella heard the water running and shortly thereafter, Edward returned to the bedroom, dressed in his pajama pants and holding a damp hand towel in his hands.

"I thought you might want to, um, clean up," he said, handing her the warm towel. Bella blushed but nodded and Edward discreetly turned his head as she used the towel. When she had finished, Edward took the towel and went to return it to the bathroom. On his way, he paused at his bedroom door and locked it. "Just want to make sure we keep out any early morning guests," he said with a grin before continuing to the bathroom.

When he returned once more, Bella was sitting on the bed, now dressed in the t-shirt Edward had been wearing when she had first entered his bedroom. Edward growled softly as he joined her on the bed, pulling her into his arms. "You have no idea what you do to me," he murmured against her lips.

Bella hummed happily against Edward's lips as she kissed him back. Without breaking their embrace, Edward pulled back his covers and shifted them so that they were lying down on his bed. He finally broke the kiss to pull the covers up over them before he had Bella wrapped in his arms once more.

Bella curled against his body, resting her head on his bare chest. "I love you, Edward," she murmured.

"I love you, my Bella," Edward replied, pressing a kiss against the top of her head.

Bella smiled. "My Edward," she whispered.

"Yours," he promised softly. "Always."

"I like the sound of that," Bella mumbled into Edward's chest. As she began to drift off to sleep, she heard Edward start to sing quietly to her. Smiling once more as her eyelids fluttered closed, she snuggled further into his embrace as he sang her softly to sleep.

"_I promise no complication  
__So we can make the transformation  
__Baby, yes, it's true.  
__Your beauty's inspiration  
__So I want to make this declaration  
__Darling, I love you.  
_'_Cause I've been around  
__But I've never found  
__Anybody quite like you._

_I just wanna see you smile  
__I just wanna be your light in the dark  
__How I will shine for you  
__Until you bring another day_

_With your angel's smile  
__You fill this empty space  
__Well, I'll be just fine  
__As long as I can be with you and see your face._

'_Cause I just wanna see you smile  
__I just wanna be your light in the dark  
__Baby, I will shine for you  
__Until you bring another day_

'_Cause I just wanna be with you  
__As long as it takes to show that  
__I am true  
__Baby, I will wait for you."_

* * *

The next morning, before he even opened his eyes, Edward knew that something had changed. And it was definitely something for the better. He opened his eyes, unable to stop the enormous smile that crossed his face at the sight that met his eyes. Bella was sleeping peacefully in his arms. Her lips were swollen from their activities the previous night and her hair was a wild man fanning around her head. She had never looked more beautiful to Edward.

He tightened his arms around her, pulling her body even more closely to his. He ran his nose along her jawline, pausing to inhale the delicious scent of strawberries and freesia and Bella. This was how it should be, how he had dreamed of it being for so long. Bella was in his arms and the night before, they had shared their true feelings with each other. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders with his confession. He loved her and now he would be free to say it whenever he wanted. And he planned on saying it as often as possible.

Bella began to stir in his arms and Edward quickly shut his eyes, curious to see what she would do upon waking up next to him. He felt Bella begin to stretch and then stop, her body tensing as she felt someone next to her. Almost immediately, though, her body relaxed and her heard her sigh softly.

She shifted slightly in his arms and reached up, gently running her fingertips along Edward's jawline. She cupped her hand around his face, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb as she pressed her body closer to his.

"Now this is definitely something I could get used to," Edward murmured without opening his eyes.

"Mmm, and how long have you been awake?" Edward could almost hear the smile in her voice as she slipped her other arm around his waist.

Without warning, Edward's eyes flew open and he flipped Bella onto her back, eliciting a shriek of surprised laughter from her before she began giggling in earnest.

"Long enough to realize how lucky I am to be waking up with the most perfect woman on the planet in my arms." Edward smiled as Bella's cheeks turned pink. "Good morning, love," he said, leaning down to nuzzle her neck.

Bella sighed happily. "Yes, it is. Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas," he responded, pulling back to kiss her softly.

He shifted to lie next to her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "Mmm, I wish we could just stay right here for the rest of vacation," he murmured.

Bella smiled. "Sounds good to me."

"However." He sat up. "You're right. It is Christmas." He opened the drawer next to his bed and pulled something from it as Bella sat up next to him. "I didn't get a chance to wrap it," he said, suddenly feeling shy as he held the object in his hands out to Bella.

Bella gasped as she took it from Edward. It was a small wooden box with intricate designs carved into the side and lid. The top of the box had an engraving on it and Bella's eyes filled with tears as she read it. _You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you._ Pride and Prejudice. "Edward," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you," Edward quoted softly. "I thought it was appropriate," he added.

Bella laughed even as a tear slid down her cheek and she leaned in to kiss Edward gently.

When they separated, he reached out and wiped her tear away with his thumb. "Open it," he urged with a smile. Soft musical notes filled the room and Bella gasped in recognition. "It's your song."

Edward smiled crookedly. "Actually, Bella, it's _your_ song."

"Edward, it's wonderful," Bella said, running her fingers across the top of the box. "Thank you."

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is under the tree," Edward said with a grin. "Just in case last night didn't go well."

Bella put the music box on Edward's bedside table and turned back to him. "Last night was perfect," she said softly.

Edward smiled, reaching out to cup her cheek in his hand. "Yes, it was," he whispered back before leaning in to capture her lips in a tender kiss.

The kiss quickly turned passionate and Bella moaned into Edward's mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck, gently tugging at the hair at the base of his scalp. The combination of the sounds Bella was making and the pleasurable pain of his hair being pulled spurred Edward on and his hands dropped to the hem of the t-shirt she wore. He pulled the shirt up over Bella's head, quickly dropping it somewhere in the vicinity of the bed before his hands immediately returned to her body.

Holding her close, his lips went to her neck, gently kissing and sucking the skin there while Bella's hands roamed over his bare back.

Suddenly, a very unwelcome sound pierced his consciousness.

"Bella, are you awake?" Alice's voice came from the hallway as she knocked on the door to Bella's guestroom. Edward groaned against Bella's neck, grumbling something about damn pixies and bad timing.

"Bella?" Alice's voice sounded puzzled and Bella couldn't help giggling.

"In here, Alice," she called back.

"Are you in Edward's room?"

"Yes, Al. Come on in," Edward called back.

"The door's locked," Bella reminded Edward in a whisper.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Alice learned to pick the lock on my door ages ago. She never liked her twin having any secrets from her."

Bella grimaced. "Well, I'd really rather she _not_ see me lying in bed with her brother while we're both naked!" she whispered urgently.

Edward grinned lazily and reached down next to the bed, picking up the t-shirt Bella had been wearing only moments earlier and handing it to her. She quickly yanked the shirt over her head and was just freeing her hair from its collar when the bedroom door opened and Alice stepped inside the room, stopping just inside the doorway. Her eyes took in Edward and Bella and the couple braced themselves for the loud shriek that was sure to come from the pixie's mouth. But Alice's response was strangely restrained.

"It's about time," was all she said, smiling triumphantly at the pair before her.

Edward smiled, making no effort to cover his bare chest as he wrapped his arm around Bella. "Merry Christmas, Alice," he said.

Alice grinned widely. "I'll say." Bella blushed and her friend giggled, clapping her hands together as a small shriek escaped her lips. "You so just made mom's Christmas!"

"We'll come down and tell her in a bit," Edward said. "Do you think you could maybe buy us some time, though?"

"Everyone's downstairs already, but I'll see what I can do to hold them off for a bit. Just don't take too long. I'll stall them as best I can, but this is your news so I'm going to let you tell them."

"Thanks, Al."

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Alice said, her eyes shining with excitement. "I'd come over and give you a hug but I don't wanna know what's under that blanket," she added with a wicked grin.

"We'll see you downstairs, Alice," Edward said pointedly as Bella turned scarlet beside him.

"I'm going, I'm going," Alice said good-naturedly.

"Oh, and could you-"

"Locking the door behind me," she told them with a grin. "Merry Christmas," she called as the door clicked shut behind her.

Edward leaned in and began to press soft kisses to Bella's neck. "I thought she'd never leave," he murmured between kisses.

"Don't we have to get downstairs?" Bella asked, hissing in pleasure as Edward gently bit the skin at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

"Eventually. Mmm, I think I can safely call this the best Christmas ever," Edward murmured as he nuzzled her neck.

Bella gave in, not really wanting to argue the point anyway. "Mm-hmm," she agreed, weaving her fingers through Edward's hair.

"Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?" Edward pulled back a moment. "That's right – I believe you had less clothing on." He once again pulled the shirt off of Bella before pulling her back into his arms and easing Bella onto her back. She pulled Edward down with her, her hands quickly going to the waistband of his pants.

"Your turn," she told him, pushing his pants down his hips. Edward groaned as Bella's hands lingered on his thighs, her thumbs tracing circles on the skin there, and he quickly kicked his pants the rest of the way off.

Edward held himself over Bella, his weight resting on his arms as he leaned down and kissed her sweetly, pulling back to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb as he used his other hand to guide himself into her. "I love you, Bella," he said as he sheathed himself fully in her, his eyes never leaving hers.

Bella's heart swelled at the words. "I love you, Edward," she whispered back. She reached up and caught Edward's face with her hands, pulling him down to meet her lips with his own in a tender kiss.

A soft moan escaped Bella's mouth as Edward began rocking his hips and she wrapped her legs around his waist as she began to move with him.

Best Christmas ever, indeed.

* * *

End


End file.
